the ch!cktionary

    14 Feb 2012

    Love or hate Valentine’s Day, this week is all about L-O-V-E. So we thought it was the perfect time to premiere xoxosms, the short documentary about young people falling head over heels on the Internet. This isn’t your usual documentary about young people and technology—we’re not telling scary stories about sexting or stranger danger. xoxosms is a story of personal connection via the Internet: two people, opposite in nearly every imaginable way, cultivate a deep, intimate relationship via Facebook and video chat.

    Join us now for the virtual premiere on Ustream, followed at 6pm EST by a panel discussion about how technology is changing the way get intimate and fall in love. I’ve embedded the Ustream channel above, so you can watch the film on loop all day.

    (Don’t forget to enter today’s giveaway to win the Kiki C-Vibe from PicoBong and a copy of Rachel Kramer Bussel’s Best Sex Writing!)

    7 Feb 2012

    Join me and XOXOSMS for Virtual V-Day!

    In an LDR? Totally bummed you can’t snuggle up to your sweet this Valentine’s Day? We’ve got something just for you! On Februrary 14th at 6pm EST, join us for the premiere of xoxosms followed by a panel about love, intimacy, sex, and the Internet (all of our favorite things!). 

    This is a date night for the 21st Century: fire up Skype (or gchat or oovoo!), connect with your beloved, and tune into the film together. Then stick around to have a conversation about how technology is changing the way we live and love. Panelists include director Nancy Schwartzman, Lena Chen of “Sex and The Ivy”, Twanna Hines aka “Funky Brown Chick”, writer for Ebony and Glamour, Melissa Gira Grant of The Guardian and The New York Observer, Samhita Mukhopodyay, Editor of Feministing.com, and Melanie Wallner from student focused online dating platform DateMySchool.com.

    Save the date!

    (I’ll be in NYC this Friday through Valentine’s Day. Join me online for the livestream!)

    (Source: xoxosms)

    31 Jan 2012

    Whew, it was great to see my mom in LA, but now it’s time to play catch-up with work. I just flew back to Boston yesterday, and I’m only going to be home for a hot second. This Sunday, I’ll be in Connecticut for a talk at Yale. After overcoming some conflicts with the administration last semester, Sex Week is now officially on and I couldn’t be happier to be a part of it.

    Here are the details for my event:

    “WRITING SEX”: A PANEL ON SEX-POSITIVE WRITING @ Sex Week 2012
    Sunday, February 5, at 6:00 PM

    Featuring Riese Bernard of Autostraddle, Lena Chen of The Ch!cktionary, & Miriam Zoila Perez of Radical Doula.

    Let’s be honest, talking about sex can be really difficult. Talking about sex in an inclusive, sensitive, and informative way is even more difficult. This panel, made up of prominent feminist and queer writers who tackle the world of sex with their words on a daily basis, will provide a space in which to explore the question of sex-positive advocacy through writing, a highly relevant issue for many students on this campus. Panelists will offer their own experiences of the challenges and successes of writing about sex, and then enter into a discussion of relevant questions: what is sex-positive writing? How can we write in sex-positive ways? And, perhaps most importantly, how can writing about sex be a form of activism in and of itself? This event is co-sponsored by Sappho, MEChA de Yale, CAUSA (Cuban American Undergraduate Student Association), Despierta Boricua, Asian American Cultural Center, the Women’s Center, and Q Magazine, which will be moderating the panel.

    [RSVP on Facebook]

    I’m very excited to see my awesome co-panelists. Miriam and I have spoken together before, but I’ve never actually met Riese, even though Autostraddle is one of my favorite sites (and one of the few I bother reading regularly). You guys always ask me for sex-positive and feminist blog suggestions. Go check this one out ;)

    (For the full Sex Week schedule, go to the official website. Bostonians, mark your calendars: Harvard’s having its inaugural Sex Week this March with many events open to the public. Stay tuned for more details!)

    17 Jan 2012

    Upcoming Speaking/Travel Dates

    Holy crap, traveling for the past month has totally done a number on my skin, immune system, and sleep schedule. Three more days in China and then I’m off to LA for a week - yet another climate and time change. Never thought I’d be looking forward to returning to the frigid New England winter, but I’m longing for some normality (and a wardrobe change) after weeks on the road.

    After I get back to Boston on the 30th, I’m going to be in proposal writing mode for the indefinite future so there will be fewer new articles and blog posts coming up. Though most of my literary output will remain private for a while, I’ll have a web series coming out soon and I’ll be doing sporadic speaking gigs. That said, I’m trying to cut down on travel and extraneous obligations, so I can spend as much time as possible in Boston and not get sick like I did last year when I was running about doing Feminist Coming Out Day. I only have half a year before my Berlin move, and I have to seriously reorganize my life to make writing and my codependent relationship with my best friend my two top priorities :)

    Here’s an incomplete list of where I’ll be in upcoming months …

    JANUARY 22-30
    Visiting Family in Los Angeles, CA

    FEBRUARY 5
    Panel for Sex Week At Yale in New Haven, CT

    FEBRUARY 14
    Panel for XOXOSMS Internet Premiere in New York City, NY

    MARCH 9-13
    SXSW Interactive/Film (for Sex in the Digital Age panel) in Austin, TX 

    APRIL 1-3
    Sex::Tech 2012 (for XOXOSMS screening and panel) in San Francisco, CA

    I also have to visit LA one more time before I move to Germany (or my mother will actually kill me) and I may make it over to DC at some point, but that’s all to be determined. I was also originally supposed to do a reunion with friends in New Orleans in early March, right before SXSW, but sadly, I don’t think I can afford that at the moment. (Unless someone wants to fly me over to speak, pretty please?)

    Due to lack of time/money/energy, I don’t think I’ll be adding much more to my plate this spring, but as always, shoot me an email if you’re interested in hosting me as a speaker. I’ll update the above list as details get solidified (there’s a few Harvard events and some local stuff I’m still getting confirmation on). Also, for everyone who’s been inundating my inbox, I’ll be back in civilization this weekend and hope to have a handle on late emails by next week.

    Now … it’s time to end this Asia trip on a high note! It’s right before Chinese New Year, and I can think of no better place to start the Year of the Dragon than in Shanghai :)

    28 Sep 2011

    Hi Yalies! I’ll be in town this Friday to discuss my experiences     writing from a feminist perspective and and the challenges therein. How has the rapid proliferation of feminist blogs and “women’s”     sections of online magazines changed activism, the     reach of feminist commentary, and discussions of sex? Is a career in feminism the most effective way to bring about social change? What does being a “professional feminist” even look like?
I’ll be answering these questions with feminist group Broad Recognition as part of a public lecture series hosted by St. Anthony’s, a society at Yale. Hope you join us on Friday, and leave a comment if you have a related topic you think I should discuss :)
(And yes, this event, as well as the other lectures in the series, is open to the public, so even if you’re not a Yale affiliate, definitely drop by!)
If you plan on attending, RSVP on Facebook here.

    Hi Yalies! I’ll be in town this Friday to discuss my experiences writing from a feminist perspective and and the challenges therein. How has the rapid proliferation of feminist blogs and “women’s” sections of online magazines changed activism, the reach of feminist commentary, and discussions of sex? Is a career in feminism the most effective way to bring about social change? What does being a “professional feminist” even look like?

    I’ll be answering these questions with feminist group Broad Recognition as part of a public lecture series hosted by St. Anthony’s, a society at Yale. Hope you join us on Friday, and leave a comment if you have a related topic you think I should discuss :)

    (And yes, this event, as well as the other lectures in the series, is open to the public, so even if you’re not a Yale affiliate, definitely drop by!)

    If you plan on attending, RSVP on Facebook here.

    20 Aug 2011

    Fleshbot’s lovely Lux Alptraum organized the following panel proposal for South by Southwest festival next year. The other speakers will include Maureen O’Connor (Gawker) and Noel Biderman (Ashley Madison). I’ve never attended SXSW before, but I’m saving up for plane tickets in case our panel gets chosen. I suspect that friends of mine will be present for the film and music parts of the festival (for work purposes), so I’m extra motivated to find an excuse to join them :) Please vote for us here!

    SEX IN THE DIGITAL AGE

    As the internet has become an increasingly integral part of our daily lives, it’s transformed virtually everything about how we live—from how we communicate with friends and family, how we get our jobs done, and, yes, how we flirt, find lovers, and explore our sexuality. In many ways, this evolution has been a positive one, bringing us amazing new ways to connect with the rest of the world, but it’s also had some unforeseen consequences: just over a decade ago, when the country was reeling from the aftermath of the Lewinsky scandal, who could have imagined that one day a congressman would be forced to resign from his post after a scandal that involved no sex, no illicit meetings—in fact, nothing more than some online flirting and a few ill advised sexts? Sex in the Digital Age examines how the internet has transformed our relationship to sexuality: what it’s given us, what it’s taken away, and how it’s transformed our ideas and expectations about how our friends, lovers, and public figures can—and should—behave.

    3 Jun 2011

    Hey Yalies in the city! Looking forward to meeting y’all and chatting freelance writing this Monday in the Lower East Side. (I’m leaving for New York in an hour!) While we’re at it, why don’t we just forget this whole school rivalry thing and just agree on the common enemy: Princeton.

    A Conversation with freelance writer, Lena Chen.
    8pm on Monday, June 6, 2011
    Antibes Bistro, 112 Suffolk Street, New York

    Hosted by Yale In New York.

    28 Apr 2011

    Earlier this month, I had the pleasure of moderating a talk with Anna Holmes and Jessie Daniels at Ain’t I A Woman: Women Of Color Speak On Activism. Our panel focused on the intersection of race and social media in the feminist movement. (Jessie is a professor at Hunter College and the author of Cyber Racism. Anna is the founding and former editor-in-chief of the women’s website, Jezebel.) For those of you who couldn’t make the event, here are some of the themes that we explored:
Online media is often heralded as being more democratic and progressive  than mainstream media,  since it   allows marginalized groups and those without the power of capital to  establish a platform for their ideas. The reality is more nuanced. How  is the Internet both a tool for social change and a weapon against it?  Does the anonymity afforded by the Internet encourage the voicing of  racist or homophobic views that might not be welcome were these  conversations to take place in the real world? Even in progressive  communities, the feminist blogosphere can replicate the same power   structures that exist in mainstream feminist   activism, giving a privileged few a louder voice while silencing less   powerful/mainstream-friendly groups. How can we prevent digital spaces  from becoming hierarchical and oppressive?  While it is now acknowledged that feminism is lacking when  addressing marginalized identities beyond gender, bringing up the notion of intersectionality is often just paying lip service to inclusion without taking active steps toward it. Cedar/Hazel Troost writes in “Beyond Inclusion” of how feminism fails to address the needs of trans people: Let’s make the record clear: there is virtually no women’s space  extant today. Michfest is not women’s space, nor would it be even if  trans women were allowed—it’s cis, white, middle class, able women’s  space.  When one group controls a space or institution, when only its  members’ voices, concerns, and perspectives are relevant to the  determination and organization of that space—that is to say, when that  group ‘owns’ the space—it is their space, regardless of who else may  enter. So when allies to trans women demand our inclusion without  simultaneously demanding that that space be accountable to us—including  that trans & cis women be equally in charge of what constitutes  women’s space and feminism—they are not demanding fundamental change,  only a softer supremacy. Is the trend in feminist media to attempt  inclusion or to aim for accountability? To which extent are Internet  “call-outs” effective and to which extent do they deter those with  white privilege from engaging in discussions of race? Sometimes, people of color are mistaken for white in online communities, due to the anonymous nature of the Internet. This is an experience that resonates with Anna, who is biracial but founded Jezebel, which is frequently thought of as a “white blog”. How is  it that even when WOC do engage in mainstream  movement-building that their contributions get white washed so that it’s  not about a WOC speaking her truth but rather a WOC lending her voice  to white feminists? Is participating in mainstream media necessarily selling out? What happens when other WOC don’t consider you one of their own as a result?
Creating a truly representative feminism online is as difficult as creating it off-line. Can we encourage the  mainstream (BlogHer, Bitch Magazine, big feminist pubs/sites, etc.) to  become more inclusive or is the only way to give non-white issues  adequate coverage to create spaces specifically for women of  color/other minorities (Autostraddle, The Root, Blogalicious, Racialicious, etc.).How does one straddle the need to include without tokenizing? Where does that line get drawn?
Feminist media faces a tough Catch-22 when it comes to balancing  ideals  and money. For example, adhering to a feminist ideology  eliminates  taking ad revenue from most major advertisers, and a  publication may  get criticized for lack of diversity only to find that  less mainstream  posts get fewer page views and comments than the ones  targeting a  white/cis/straight audience. Is a nuanced portrait of feminism even possible in a free market economy?

    Earlier this month, I had the pleasure of moderating a talk with Anna Holmes and Jessie Daniels at Ain’t I A Woman: Women Of Color Speak On Activism. Our panel focused on the intersection of race and social media in the feminist movement. (Jessie is a professor at Hunter College and the author of Cyber Racism. Anna is the founding and former editor-in-chief of the women’s website, Jezebel.) For those of you who couldn’t make the event, here are some of the themes that we explored:

    Online media is often heralded as being more democratic and progressive than mainstream media, since it allows marginalized groups and those without the power of capital to establish a platform for their ideas. The reality is more nuanced. How is the Internet both a tool for social change and a weapon against it? Does the anonymity afforded by the Internet encourage the voicing of racist or homophobic views that might not be welcome were these conversations to take place in the real world? Even in progressive communities, the feminist blogosphere can replicate the same power structures that exist in mainstream feminist activism, giving a privileged few a louder voice while silencing less powerful/mainstream-friendly groups. How can we prevent digital spaces from becoming hierarchical and oppressive?

    While it is now acknowledged that feminism is lacking when addressing marginalized identities beyond gender, bringing up the notion of intersectionality is often just paying lip service to inclusion without taking active steps toward it. Cedar/Hazel Troost writes in “Beyond Inclusion” of how feminism fails to address the needs of trans people: Let’s make the record clear: there is virtually no women’s space extant today. Michfest is not women’s space, nor would it be even if trans women were allowed—it’s cis, white, middle class, able women’s space.  When one group controls a space or institution, when only its members’ voices, concerns, and perspectives are relevant to the determination and organization of that space—that is to say, when that group ‘owns’ the space—it is their space, regardless of who else may enter. So when allies to trans women demand our inclusion without simultaneously demanding that that space be accountable to us—including that trans & cis women be equally in charge of what constitutes women’s space and feminism—they are not demanding fundamental change, only a softer supremacy. Is the trend in feminist media to attempt inclusion or to aim for accountability? To which extent are Internet “call-outs” effective and to which extent do they deter those with white privilege from engaging in discussions of race?

    Sometimes, people of color are mistaken for white in online communities, due to the anonymous nature of the Internet. This is an experience that resonates with Anna, who is biracial but founded Jezebel, which is frequently thought of as a “white blog”. How is it that even when WOC do engage in mainstream movement-building that their contributions get white washed so that it’s not about a WOC speaking her truth but rather a WOC lending her voice to white feminists? Is participating in mainstream media necessarily selling out? What happens when other WOC don’t consider you one of their own as a result?

    Creating a truly representative feminism online is as difficult as creating it off-line. Can we encourage the mainstream (BlogHer, Bitch Magazine, big feminist pubs/sites, etc.) to become more inclusive or is the only way to give non-white issues adequate coverage to create spaces specifically for women of color/other minorities (Autostraddle, The Root, Blogalicious, Racialicious, etc.).How does one straddle the need to include without tokenizing? Where does that line get drawn?

    Feminist media faces a tough Catch-22 when it comes to balancing ideals and money. For example, adhering to a feminist ideology eliminates taking ad revenue from most major advertisers, and a publication may get criticized for lack of diversity only to find that less mainstream posts get fewer page views and comments than the ones targeting a white/cis/straight audience. Is a nuanced portrait of feminism even possible in a free market economy?

    8 Apr 2011

    Coming up this Monday in New York … come out for the panel after work and check out the after-party! I’ll be in the city from Sunday until early Tuesday.
Ain’t I A Woman: Women of Color Speak On ActivismFeaturing  Latoya Peterson, Elizabeth  Mendez Berry, Lori Adelman, Aimee  Thorne-Thomsen, Jessie Daniels, PhD,  & Anna Holmes with moderators Jamia Wilson, Amanda Marcotte, and Lena Chen, and music by DJ Lobotomy Copter
Monday, April 11, 2011Mixer 6PM | Panel 7-9PM | Party 9-12AM (RSVP on Facebook)Galapagos Art Space at 16 Main Street, Brooklyn, NY$10 Suggested Donation | Event Hashtag: #AIAWLong   after Sojourner Truth pondered the question - “Aint I A Woman?” we   continue to face a white supremacist culture that undermines women of   color, young women, undocumented immigrants, and the LGBTQ community.   We’re convening this panel to ignite a discourse about the experiences   of women of color in the femini…st   movement and beyond. On this night, six outstanding feminists and   activists will go head-to-head to discuss race in the feminist movement   today.We know that the movements to eradicate racism, ableism,   homophobia, transphobia and sexism are inextricably connected. We  reject  the silencing and subjugation of women of color and aim to  create a  safe and courageous space to raise our voices, confront  tensions,  celebrate our triumphs, create collective solutions and share  our  stories. Through this sharing, we can create a united front so  that,  instead of surviving through silence, there can be a dialogue on  how to  battle institutionalized oppression.Speaking our truth  is  crucial to our survival. By gathering together and learning from our   shared and individual tales of love and struggle, we will each emerge   with new perspectives that will enable us to engender the change we   envision for the world. In the words of bell hooks, “There can be no  feminist revolution without an end to racism, classism, ageism…”

    Coming up this Monday in New York … come out for the panel after work and check out the after-party! I’ll be in the city from Sunday until early Tuesday.

    Ain’t I A Woman: Women of Color Speak On Activism
    Featuring Latoya Peterson, Elizabeth Mendez Berry, Lori Adelman, Aimee Thorne-Thomsen, Jessie Daniels, PhD, & Anna Holmes with moderators Jamia Wilson, Amanda Marcotte, and Lena Chen, and music by DJ Lobotomy Copter

    Monday, April 11, 2011
    Mixer 6PM | Panel 7-9PM | Party 9-12AM (RSVP on Facebook)
    Galapagos Art Space at 16 Main Street, Brooklyn, NY
    $10 Suggested Donation | Event Hashtag: #AIAW

    Long after Sojourner Truth pondered the question - “Aint I A Woman?” we continue to face a white supremacist culture that undermines women of color, young women, undocumented immigrants, and the LGBTQ community. We’re convening this panel to ignite a discourse about the experiences of women of color in the feminist movement and beyond. On this night, six outstanding feminists and activists will go head-to-head to discuss race in the feminist movement today.

    We know that the movements to eradicate racism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia and sexism are inextricably connected. We reject the silencing and subjugation of women of color and aim to create a safe and courageous space to raise our voices, confront tensions, celebrate our triumphs, create collective solutions and share our stories. Through this sharing, we can create a united front so that, instead of surviving through silence, there can be a dialogue on how to battle institutionalized oppression.

    Speaking our truth is crucial to our survival. By gathering together and learning from our shared and individual tales of love and struggle, we will each emerge with new perspectives that will enable us to engender the change we envision for the world. In the words of bell hooks, “There can be no feminist revolution without an end to racism, classism, ageism…”