“I just wish that you would see how much little asian whores like you have as an impact on men as a whole, especially white males and I stress the use of the word white as opposed to caucatian. There is so much exclusion in society already as it is and so much prejudism and hidden racism and then when shit happens to you in higher places of academia that is where it hurts the most. ‘Cause to a certain degree you would think that your smarts, moral values and same level of ambition would make you similar but is not. And all of this is thrown into a further limbo of inequality and racisms and prejudism ‘cause of women…women like you.” (link)

Um, sorry? I apologize on behalf of my people.

“When I said what I wanted - I was told to shut the fuck up, follow suit. This bitch hangs out with the same fuckers that beat me up, told me to act a certain way, do certain things, follow a certain code of conduct when this is not what I wanted. So why do I read? - because you are exactly allowed to be YOU. YOUR FUCKING DAMN WEIRDNESS IS IVY FUCKING LEAGUE STATUS.” (link to full comment)

Okay, guys, it’s close reading time, since my understanding of the above tirade is losing grip by the second. I know it’s commonly said that the products of Ivy League education are spoiled, entitled minions of The Establishment. And by “commonly said”, I mean that I’ve previously said  Harvard kids display “unquestioning adherence to the reigning religion of their peers: capitalism”. So just to get things straight — no one’s in denial here about the nastier side of privilege.

However, though I have witnessed an appalling lack of self-awareness among Ivy Leaguers, I also haven’t witnessed a 1984-esque expectation for conformity at the threat of violence. Let’s get real here: Harvard kids can barely win thumb wars, so I am certainly not “hang[ing] out with the same fuckers who beat [you] up”, because I’m fairly sure the graduates of my school don’t get their own hands dirty when they want to win a fight. They play with taxpayer-funded missles instead!

No, but really, seeing as how I really doubt that I’m personally acquainted with anyone who has wronged you, please take your grievances elsewhere lest you seriously misdirect your rage against the machine.

Says the commenter from the other day:

“I just made a complaint about your blog to the harvard’s department….there is a lot of legal shit you are not paying attention to.” (link)

“On the sole purpose that you do not represent all of harvard and your views should not be taken as a general point of view. Your views are very personal and you should remember that when putting Harvard’s name on your page.” (link)

I decided to ignore the total lack of appreciation for grammar and linked him to the Wikipedia entry on nominative use.

Why does this guy (and other anonymous people online) care so much about something he has zero stake in? I can’t even be compelled to fill out a feedback card at the end of a hotel stay, much more write entire emails to an institution that has nothing to do with me about a subject that has no impact on my life.

So some guy comments on my blog telling me to “start acting more philantropic” lest I come off as “spoiled”. Presumptuous, but whatever, right? Well, that’s the gist of the comment, and it took a lot of sifting to get to that one-sentence summary. The entire comment, however, lasts for several paragraphs and includes gems such as:

• “You know what you need to do china?”
• “I harsh critic of girls like you”
• “what a wonderfuld life”
• “this blog is going to get boring because unless you drop the fag (ha!) and start drinking and fucking with egalitarian might…..it is just not fun to read anymore…”
• “your entourage of blogging friends is just not that cool especially that black chix who wants to kill herself wtf man?….”

Oh, and apparently, I should charge people to read my website and donate the proceeds to “a hostel for would be german porn Scheissters actresses”. Direct quote.

In response, I informed him, “Unfortunately, the only organizations I’d be interested in supporting are ones that help ‘fags’ like my boyfriend. Also? I don’t really take life advice from those who lack professional credentials (see previous entry) and an understanding of the Complete Sentence.”

I don’t really believe in feeding the trolls, but this is kind of too good to pass up. In any case, I figured this would be the appropriate occasion to debut a new feature (recurring whenever the fuck I feel like it) in which Kennedy answers fan mail and responds to commenters on my behalf. There is no real point to this besides the fact that it amuses me. Without further ado, a word from “that black chix who wants to kill herself”:

Dear P,

Thank you for your entirely unsolicited and largely incoherent advice! It was high time someone had the originality and courage to send me an anonymous email criticizing my work, lover, and friends. In a world full of uninformed moralizing prigs, self-righteousness is just so refreshing! I find myself intrigued by your suggestion that I pursue philanthropy. Allowing my readers to vote on the charity and/or organization is an ok idea, but I thought that given your own authority on which problems are worthy of consideration and compassion and which we should just go ahead and trivialize, you might be a better choice.

As for that black “chix,” don’t take her seriously. She’s actually just a convenient writing tool that enables me to inject more melodrama into my blog. I personally find clinical depression so scintillating that I just knew she would be a big hit. And the best part? I never have to worry about her becoming tedious and boring my readers, because in all likelihood she’ll kill herself long before then. Such convenience!

Anyhoo, I must be off! Shoes to buy, blowjobs to give, other people’s caricatural fantasies of my life to fulfill.

Kiss Kiss!

“Euro dudes who ‘prefer’ ‘asian’ women are latent homosexuals. Your desperate and pathetic attempt to act like an HBO cartoon character gives the lie to your real life. But if you’ve actually had sex with a Euro dude, you already know all this, don’t you?”

-Commenter on Sex and the Ivy

To which I can only respond with ”HUH?!” What does this even mean? Do the quotation marks around “asian” mean that I am only Asian in the sarcastic sense of the word? Does HBO even show cartoons? Why does he keep referring to European men as “Euro dudes” like they’re a special species?

I derive a small amount of amusement from the nonsensical rantings that get posted on my blog. And then I remember that I must share the Earth with these people. God, what a waste of space.

Some of my friends think I’m crazy for keeping a list of all hookups, penetrative or not. But with, um, admirers like these, having a Word document to turn to for reference doesn’t hurt.

(Not that I wouldn’t recall otherwise. My sexual history is as memorable as it is prolific, though not always memorable in a good way.)

heh… obviously you don’t remember me, Elle. Brett. remember now? yeah, I’m just here to point out the inaccuracy in your blog - while we didn’t have intercourse, your cockteasing ass definitely did let me stick the tip in (I don’t mean that I stuck the tip in your ass, just your pussy). I’ll let you in on a little secret: even with just the head of my penis inside you, I could tell that you were pretty loose, that’s why I didn’t really give a fuck when you stopped the penetration when my head slipped in there. I’m not normally the type to brag about my sexual conquests online, but I couldn’t resist correcting you.

advertising your celibacy when you’ve clearly got no problem with partial penetration is just lame in my opinion.

Originally posted as a comment by brett on Sex and the Ivy using Disqus.

When you leave persistent comments telling me to “watch where [I] walk” and saying that you’re going to send someone to “find” me, that’s harassment and it’s illegal. You should probably … I don’t know, stop?

It highly irritates me when I have a troll who is CLEARLY male and CLEARLY has no conception of how disturbing physical threats are to women. I don’t care if you call me a big slut or even insult my family, but c’mon, this is just being an asshole. Can ya chill out for a second, take a look at yourself, and actually think about what you’re writing? Who does this stuff?