the ch!cktionary

    29 Apr 2010

    Anonymous asked: I totally look up to you, Lena. I've followed your blog for really long time and let me tell you that even though I don't know you personally, I really admire and take a lot from you experiences. You are a strong-ass womyn for doing all that you do.

    I've always had this question though. I know that you sometimes do Anatomy of an Outfit and stuff like that. How do you explain your own inclination towards what can be labeled as.. materialism? How do you incorporate your own attraction towards hair salons, brand name clothing, etc with your feminist views on beauty and capitalistic consumption?

    Great question, and not one that I necessarily have an answer to. I’ve actually wanted to address this issue for a while. Perhaps I haven’t because there’s not really a pretty way to say this: I’m not a model feminist and probably won’t ever be in this regard.

    Anonymous is referencing the Anatomy of an Outfit series in which I break down what I’m wearing any given day. I first started doing this wayyy back in the Sex and the Ivy days, and I still do it, despite railing against beauty ideals and privilege and capitalism. There are attachments I have to getting a nice haircut, wearing cute clothes, putting on makeup, etc. which will probably never go away completely. Perhaps these things will become less important over time, but the truth is that I do like looking a certain way and cultivating a personal style (whatever that means) and I’m not sure there’s anything wrong with that in itself.

    What is wrong is the importance placed on being “beautiful”, which is often a mainstream standard that most people can’t or don’t want to meet. And the consequences of not conforming can be really nasty and are never deserved. When I was 20 pounds heavier, for example, I would not hear the end of it, because 130 pounds is apparently too “fat” for a respectable sex blogger. So instead of engaging with my arguments, commenters would derail discussions by informing me that my (non-existent) cat is more attractive than me. These comments bothered me at one point in time, but I learned to not take them personally. They were just a reflection of people’s unrealistic beauty standards and particularly misogynistic expectation of thinness. Through trial-by-fire, I realized that it’s not impossible to teach yourself to care less about how you look, to unlearn all those things we are taught about self-worth and appearance, and to still try to look good without beating yourself up when you don’t.

    Recently, I found this old but still relevant blog post, where I documented my beauty regimen in 2007 versus my beauty regimen in January 2009. A lot has changed since then, and even more has changed in the past year. About 90 percent of my closet now comes from a consignment store. I no longer wear make-up on a daily basis and only bother the three or four times I go out every month. I just went three weeks without shaving my legs and wore skirts on all the warm days. These are really small changes and incremental in the grand scheme of things, but they’re highly significant to me, since these changed habits signal that I’m less self-conscious than I used to be.

    I don’t have a particular attachment to “Anatomy of an Outfit”, but I was inspired to continue the series on The Chicktionary after I started reading Jessica Schroeder’s blog What I Wore (which has become wildly famous since). Part of the reason why I really like Schroeder’s site is because nothing she puts together is particularly expensive, and she relies on a lot of the same secondhand bargain-hunting that I do to stock my closet. It’s not so much about worshipping at the altar of Dior than it is about making do with what you have. As time has gone on, I’ve used “Anatomy of an Outfit” to document some of my more ridiculous get-ups, including duct-tape pasties (NSFW) and a last-minute Halloween costume as a BDSM submissive. But who am I fooling? I can try to be as fashionably transgressive as possible, but ultimately, when I’m prancing about in size-2 designer clothes — which, even if thrifted, are not available en masse —, I shouldn’t be surprised if people call me out on the hypocrisy.

    I’m open to the possibility of not doing these kinds of posts anymore, since I’ve begun to realize that there’s a kind of responsibility when writing for a large audience that I didn’t used to feel when I was blogging for my friends and peers. Let me know in the comments what you guys think, and I will definitely consider your input when doing future posts.

    More burning questions? Ask them here.

    6 Apr 2010

    Patrick and a few of his friends are doing the Berlin marathon this fall. I’ve watched him run two marathons now, and I’m not entirely up for another round of sitting by the finish line twiddling my thumbs. I feel like I should at least try this once myself!

    In late 2008, I signed up for the Surf City marathon in San Diego but didn’t run it (and only ever got up to eleven miles). The race took place right after the holidays, and I was just generally undisciplined toward the end. I’m kind of concerned that the same thing will happen this time around with summer traveling and visits home to California, which will precede the marathon and possibly interrupt my training (which I’d basically have to begin now to be in shape by September). On the other hand, I may be living in Berlin for the month of July and it would be incredibly cool to train in the city and to replicate routes from Run, Lola, Run.

    No shame in admitting that a movie is the primary reason why I find this whole idea so appealing.

    2 Sep 2009

    “I feel like I’m comping the Lena Chen Jazzercise Society.”
    — Gracye, in reference to our gym date

    21 Jul 2009

    I grill my roommate for workout tips.

    Today’s question: What’s the most effective way to burn fat if you’ve only got two weeks before you don a bikini?

    Answer: Low-intensity cardio, such as running.

    Good to know, since I usually push it and end up with an astronomical heart rate (not that “pushing it” isn’t good for you in different ways). It’s extremely convenient that my boyfriend is also my personal trainer.

    Tomorrow’s question: How can I recover my awesome ass? Are there ass exercises one should be doing?

    15 Jul 2009

    Boot Camp & Bikini Bods

    My friends in LA informed me tonight about P90X, a supposedly revolutionary home fitness program that promises to “get you absolutely ripped” in 90 days. I hadn’t heard, but apparently, P90X is all the rage. I always forget until I return home that people in Southern California are actually obsessive enough about working out to sign up for crazy, demanding regimens like this. In hordes. The last time I saw the words “boot camp” in Boston, I’m pretty sure it was preceded by “bridal”. There’s also much more cosmetic enhancement out here. I guess silicone just doesn’t fit into the New England aesthetic.

    I’m somewhat skeptical about P90X because it’s sold on television, a medium I view with a great deal of suspicion. But apparently, an acquaintance tried it out and did, in fact, get ripped by following the nutrition plan and workout videos. Then again, if you have the self-discipline to diet and exercise daily, is it necessary to spend $140 upfront? (For me, I’m more committed if I throw in my wallet, but I don’t think it’s the case for everyone.)

    Currently, I’m about five pounds from converting my F(at)UPA into a F(lat)UPA, and I’m not at all eager to sign myself up for self-directed boot camp. (If you don’t know what FUPA means, Urban Dictionary is your friend.) An alternative I can better afford? Running, which according to my heart rate monitor, burns approximately 100 calories per 10-minute mile. Since one pound equals 3,500 calories, I have about 35 five-mile runs to my coveted bikini bod. Perhaps it’s time to lower aspirations.

    28 Apr 2009

    Advice on spinning?

    I’m taking my first spin class this Thursday, and I’m pretty terrified. It’s supposed to be a great endurance-building exercise and is the most effective way to burn calories, but I’ve  heard that it can be a literal pain in the ass for beginners. Is there a way for me to minimize the impact on my bum without going out to buy those gel pads? I don’t know if I’m going to stick with spinning and really can’t bother with extraneous gym gear.

    I’ll also be attending an introductory orientation before class, so I won’t make a total fool of myself, but if you have additional advice on how to avoid embarassment, let me know in the comments!

    Update: It appears as if I must buy a gel cushion or risk a sore vulva. Where can I obtain an affordable one?

    28 Apr 2009

    3 Personal Training Sessions for $59 ($270 Value)

    Here’s a heads up on tomorrow’s Groupon: If you’re hoping to jumpstart your fitness regimen to get ready for bikini season, One2One Bodyscapes is offering three sessions of personal training for just $59. Sure, it’s pricier than the Healthworks deal, but for gym-a-phobes like me, personal training is an easy way to get acquainted with scary gym equipment and free weights. And at $59, it’s definitely a steal. (To compare, that’s approximately the price I paid for a single session at the Hemenway, the Harvard Law School gym.) Check out Groupon tomorrow for the complete details. You’ll have until midnight to sign up for the deal.

    Terms and conditions: Only available to first-time clients. One Groupon per person. Must call ahead to schedule. Valid for any of One2One’s 11 locations in Massachusetts. Expires six months from tomorrow.

    One2One Bodyscapes
    Back Bay
    Trinity Place 1 Huntington Avenue
    Boston, MA 02116
    (617) 267-5766

    Coolidge Corner
    1285 Beacon Street
    Brookline, MA 02246
    (617) 232-1010

    15 Apr 2009

    You have until midnight to sign up for the latest offer from Groupon, which is worth approximately $200 at retail. Healthworks is a women-only gym that I’ve tried out a couple times at the Porter Square location. The boot camp-esque class I took then effectively kicked my ass, so I’m totally in for this deal, especially since it’s the only way I can afford pilates in this city. Other options include kickboxing, yoga, spin, and belly dance. Classes have to be redeemed by May 27, 2009.

    Healthworks
    441 Stuart Street
    Boston, MA 02116
    (617) 859-7700

    36 White Street
    Cambridge, MA 02140
    (617) 497-4454

    Other locations include Brookline, Chestnut Hill, and Salem.

    13 Apr 2009

    Why Yoga Is Sexy (And How To Make It Fit A Student Budget)

    It’s a well-publicized fact that I despise running and most forms of physical activity not involving penises. So with summer approaching, what’s an unathletic nympho to do? Yoga! Like sex, it involves a multitude of positions and morning-after soreness. (Unlike sex, your clothes usually stay on. This is key.) Additional reasons why I prefer yoga to other forms of exercise:

    1. Yoga isn’t competitive like sports, so even if I know I would theoretically place last in a human pretzel competition, I don’t actually “lose” if I can’t accomplish this.
    2. Yoga can be done by anyone at any age or stage of fitness. The same can’t be said for other exercise. Can you imagine prenatal football or free weights for kids? Not so much.
    3. Yoga, even when done as a group, can be adjusted to fit your level of expertise. Unlike running, I don’t feel like I’m slowing everyone else down if I have to pause and catch my breath on my mat.

    All that being said, yoga classes can get incredibly expensive. I usually only attend when I’m home in Los Angeles with my friend Evelina, who always has good recs thanks to her job at Yogamates. There are centers in Boston, but I cringe at the thought of having to shell out $100+ per month. I can barely stomach the thought of paying for gym membership after graduation.

    Luckily, bargains aren’t hard to find, especially in a bleak economic climate. Many studios offer discounted or free trial classes, and if you’re lucky, your city will sponsor free outdoor yoga at a public park this summer. Need to get toned before then? Here are a couple deals I found:

    The yoga apparel and lifestyle store Lululemon Athletica (with outlets in Boston, New York, and other major cities) hosts tons of complimentary health and wellness events, including free hour-long yoga sessions every weekend. The Boston store, located at the Prudential Center, holds classes on Sundays from 9:30 to 10:30am. Check the website to find a store local to you.

    In Boston, both Back Bay Yoga Studio and All One Yoga (in the North End) offer unlimited 2-week class passes for new members. The price? $25. If you attend a class everyday (and I assume you can attend more!), that’s less than $2 per session, a pretty unbeatable price for an introduction to yoga.

    Lululemon Athletica
    776 Boylston Street
    Boston, MA 02116
    (617) 262-2030

    Back Bay Yoga Studio
    364 Boylston Street, 2nd Floor
    Boston, MA 02116
    (617) 375-9642

    All One Yoga
    1065 Commonwealth Ave
    Boston, MA 02215
    (617) 789-3733

    20 Mar 2009

    The Gym-A-Phobe’s Guide To Having Your Cupcake & Eating It Too

    I hate exercise. The majority of my early childhood was devoted to the memorization of multiplication tables, not the development of hand-eye coordination. Subsequently, I was a terrible athlete. The only B I got in middle school was in Physical Education. Other than a season’s worth of second string volleyball in 7th grade, I’ve never participated in an organized sport. (Not that it matters since Asian parents don’t consider “sports” real extracurricular activities, and yet the oboe is somehow a legitimate pursuit). So with sex as the single exception, I’m generally wary of physical activity. Even then, my idea of “girl on top” involves resting as much of my upper body weight as possible on my partner. Reverse cowgirl? Not even an option.

    But although I’ve always tried to be as sedentary as possible my entire life, it wasn’t until college that I experienced the repercussions. All of high school, I managed to stay a skinny minnie with on-the-go meals, little sleep, and massive overachievement. I didn’t have time to eat, and I worked so hard that I was burning the few calories I consumed, despite the fact that all my food either came from a vending machine or a deep fryer. I was tired constantly, but I never made it a priority to improve my nutritional habits before I went off to college. When I started my freshman year, I suddenly had way more time and I put it to use eating, sleeping, and underachieving. That fall, I gained 20 pounds in four months. I went from 115 pounds to 135 pounds. I’m 5’ 2”. That translates to stretch marks.

    I was pretty appalled by how quickly I outgrew my clothes. The situation was becoming dire when I finally hit my first gym. I don’t think I’ve ever been that terrified my entire life, and this was among my own sweaty classmates. My infrequent elliptical sessions were pretty pathetic, but by going back to California that summer, I managed to drop some weight eating my mother’s home cooking. A year later, I was hovering in the 128 to 130-pound range, approximately the size of my November freshman self. A reader put it best when she said: “You were in the same boat as many women - not traditionally overweight to start with, but still wanting to lose 10 pounds.” I signed up for a personal trainer at the university gym, who informed me that free weights were not, in fact, scary weapons. For the supposedly low price of $52/session, I felt competent at the gym for the first time.

    Here is when I started losing weight in earnest. I went to Switzerland last January and spent a day hiking two and a half hours uphill in the snow. It was the most physically demanding experience of my life (though not at all a big deal to the two friends who did this with me), and I was rather proud of myself for completing the climb up Europe’s longest sled run. A month later, I met Patrick, who introduced me to concepts like walks and the park. Between the Alps and Boston Common, it was the most contact I’d ever had with nature. As we got serious, Patrick began to suggest that I join him on his daily runs. After months of me laughing him off, he bought me a pair of ASICS. How could I say no?

    Six months later, I was 12 pounds slimmer, and today, I weigh approximately what I did when I sprang to my maximum possible height at 13. How did I do it and continue to eat cupcakes? It was surprisingly simple in retrospect, but in execution, it was damn hard. Here are some tips to make your fitness journey a little easier than mine:

    MOVE


    Tough it out. I went from running maybe 50 miles my entire life (most of it in P.E. classes) to running four miles four times a week. It was horrible. Side aches, nausea, panting, you name it, I felt it. Of all physical activities, running is my least favorite, probably because it’s the most effective at burning calories. But because I told Patrick that I’d be open-minded about it, I didn’t give up immediately. It took about three weeks before running stopped being something I dreaded. Once I got used to it, I found being outside relaxing and the running energizing. My sentiments changed from hate to tolerance over the span of two months, and I still hover back and forth depending on the temperature out. But though my running regimen has degenerated to less than once a week this winter, I now only dread running because it’s cold, not because I’m bad at it. I intend on hitting the Charles again come spring (um, any day now).

    Count calories (but not like that). If you can’t stomach the idea of running consecutive miles, try doing it with calories in mind. Though I don’t advocate calorie-counting when it comes to food, I find it highly motivating in exercise. Use a program (like Traineo or FitDay) to calculate how much energy a person of your height and weight uses during runs at various speeds. Knowing that I just burned off lunch is better than any runner’s high.

    Feel badass. For some people, that means contorting their bodies into the shape of a pretzel. For petite gals, self-defense classes may do the trick. When I started lifting weights, I had a lot of fun, in part because it was something that previously intimidated me. Lifting also allows you to recognize improvement very clearly as you move up to heavier weights. The goal with a fitness plan should always be progress toward becoming more fit, not more skinny/pretty/buff/etc. As unlikely as it may sound, you WILL feel damn proud of yourself when you demand more out of your body than you ever have before.

    Make a financial investment. At least in this case, you’re in control of whether it pays off. I personally think it helps to spend money on a fitness goal because you’ll be more motivated to follow through, although this might only apply to broke writers like me. In the six or so months when I was actively losing weight, I purchased long underwear ($80), workout gear ($60), and running shoes ($100) and registered for a marathon ($90). It was a lot more money than I ever thought I’d spend on an activity I despise, but I definitely felt obligated to get off my ass (even if I never ended up running the marathon). I also figured these initial costs will also pay off in the long-run, since most are one-time, multi-use purchases, unlike the personal trainer from my junior year. Unless you too live in an unfortunate place like Boston, you probably won’t need expensive winter running gear, but you could commit to a series of pilates lessons, get a gym membership, or even just buy new workout clothes.

    EAT


    Have three meals a day no matter how much it doesn’t fit your schedule. You’re not going to feel like working out if your energy levels plummet throughout the day. If you’re never hungry in the morning like me, get in the habit of juicing. (That being said, juice is not a substitute for all solid food intake.) My routine breakfast costs $0.50 to Odwalla’s $2, not including juicer. Sometimes, when I wake up too late for breakfast, I make up for it at night with a bowl of cereal after dinner. Those aren’t midnight munchies; that’s your stomach asking for its third meal. Appease your appetite accordingly with a nutritious option instead of junk food.

    Cut down on take-out, frozen meals, and processed food (especially artificial drinks). Cereal is my only processed snack, and I even now bake my own cupcakes. Once you stop purchasing and eating vacuum-sealed crap, you’ll never be able to go back to it, because it’ll taste so much worse than real food. When you hit the grocery store, skip the aisles where you know there’ll be temptation. If you don’t think you have the willpower to resist, a budget-friendly alternative to grocery stores is farmer’s markets (I live a 20 minute walk from Haymarket by the North End) which don’t carry processed foods at all. If you don’t buy it, you won’t have it on hand come midnight. (CHOOSE THE CEREAL INSTEAD!)

    Learn to cook, even if your only appliance is a microwave. Besides the lower cost, the benefit to preparing your own food is that you can control how much fat goes inside. This even goes for juice (which is better made fresh) because supermarket cartons contain all kinds of added sugar. In cooking, I use tricks like substituting applesauce for fats in baking, being sparse with sugar in dressings, and halving the oil in recipes. If your schedule doesn’t allow for regular cooking, try making several days’ worth of meals on one Sunday evening, or hit Trader Joe’s for frozen meals that are healthy, low-budget, and tasty. Steamers and sandwich presses are also great for preparing food quickly.

    Have a cupcake. Three courses (an appetizer, entrée, and dessert) are mandatory on my dinners out. When I was in Austria for two weeks this January, I was eating five courses a night after skiing six hours all day. For me, allowing myself to satisfy my appetite is the reward for treating my body well. There’s no point in working out and eating healthy all week, if you can’t ever indulge during the weekend. At the same time, this only works if three-course meals are the exception, not the norm. The key is to practice moderation not during dinner, but in the frequency of dinners.

    DRINK

    If your liver’s like mine, it needs a break. The majority of my freshman year weight gain was in the form of vodka. Despite the abundant dining hall food and constant study breaks, the biggest influence on my eating habits was not the availability of food 24/7 but the presence of alcohol at social functions. Think about it: a shot of vodka (the least caloric and sugary of all alcoholic options) is still 100 calories. At my lushiest, I was consuming an extra 400-600 calories a night on two or three nights a week. And what was I getting out of all of it? Um, depression and hangovers.

    I essentially stopped drinking a year ago, save for the occasional glass of celebratory champagne. If you’re really serious about losing weight and willing to make the lifestyle change, I suggest you drastically cut down on alcoholic intake or eliminate it altogether. For me, it wasn’t much of a sacrifice since none of my friends are particularly devoted to getting wasted. But if you can’t imagine a life of sober interactions and regret-less mornings, then at least consider replacing booze with other judgment-clouding substances. And no, I’m not talking about cocaine, no matter what you’ve heard about its appetite-suppressing abilities.

    KNOW


    The prerequisite to any fitness plan is having realistic expectations. Society’s obsession with the ideal female body type has done considerable damage to the psyches of young women. I strongly discourage anyone from striving for perfection because as I’ve said before, what society expects of you is certainly not attainable. You can learn that the hard way by getting discouraged when you don’t see the results you want, or you can train with the goal of improvement in mind. Despite all my unathleticism (or perhaps, because of it), I became incredibly motivated when the strenuous intial runs turned into easy six-mile jogs. I didn’t actually lose visible weight until a good eight weeks into my effort, but because I was juding my progress on more than my appearance, I felt like I had every reason to be proud of myself.

    Accept your body for what it is. In some ways, I’m incredibly glad I gained 20 pounds my freshman year. I’d been uncomfortable with my body up until college, and it took the weight gain for me to realize that I wasn’t any less desirable, interesting, or smart just because I was heavier. When I first met Patrick, I was really comfortable in my own skin, and though I felt great when I lost weight, the emphasis was always on learning to do a joint activity (like running) together. I think that’s the only reason I was successful. In the past, losing weight was like being bipolar because I thought of my body as something I wanted to change, not something I wanted to improve. For weeks at a time, my mood would be completely dependent on the scale. By making it about the miles, not the pounds, getting fit actually felt empowering.

    You’re not on a healthy diet if you have to describe it using the word “never”. Abstinence and deprivation just aren’t good ideas, with sex or with diets. Don’t make sacrifices that will substantially affect your quality of life. The reason why many diets fail is because their unreasonable restrictions can’t be sustained over the long-term. Even if you do succeed, at what cost?  I sure as hell wouldn’t be happy with a cupcake-free existence even if I were skinny. As with my three-course dinners, I don’t feel badly or consider it “cheating” if I decide to have a carton of ice cream on a weeknight. But because ice cream isn’t on some blacklist of things I’m not allowed to have, I don’t intensely crave it often anyway. (After all, I can just order it for dessert on my next meal out.) Nothing should be forbidden, not only because it’s unrealstic, but because it also discourages you if you break your own rules.

    Guilt and shame are counter-productive. As I’ve admitted before, I used to have incredibly unhealthy attitudes about food and struggled with bulimia during my early adolescence. Attaching feelings of guilt to something doesn’t shame you into not eating it. If you want it bad enough, you’ll eat it anyway. But chances are, if you’ve been on a diet of nutritious, natural foods, you’ll find your much-coveted snack pretty gross when you actually eat it. The key is not to starve yourself as punishment, but to know better for next time.

    Love your body no matter what happens. After gaining and losing 20 pounds over three and a half years, I’ve also gained and lost half a cup size. I was initially disappointed when this happened, but I’ve since come to terms with my rack being as modest as my stature. The truth is that few women can “have it all” in terms of the perfect body and many women simply can’t maintain size-2 bodies unless they consume 1,000 calories a day for the rest of their lives. Why should anyone have to severely restrict their diet (or pump their boobs full of silicone) just to look a certain way? What you see as flaws may very well be what others envy. One woman’s “fat” is another woman’s curves. Rather than thinking in terms of imperfections, focus on getting to know and love your body through exercise.

    Lastly, stop thinking of fitness regimens as temporary. If you make room for indulgences and start snacking healthily (fruit is seriously underrated), then what starts off as a “diet” can easily become part of your normal lifestyle. After months of not touching chips, fast food, or cocktails, I have no desire to consume any of those things anymore, but I still make myself cupcakes every week so I don’t feel deprived. As for exercise, it very much became something I was looking forward to. I still hate running sometimes, but I consider six miles a fair trade for dessert since I know it’s the only reason I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight. If I knew how to swim and had access to a pool, however, I’d probably hit the water every day whether or not I planned on dessert. Ideally, you find a physical activity you can see yourself sticking with for a long time, or at the very least, are willing to tolerate.

    This was a tad more motivational than originally intended, but I really wish someone had told me all these things when I was a freshman or sophomore. I’m living proof that even the biggest gym-a-phobe can reform. If I can do it, then it should be a piece of (cup)cake for you. Good luck!

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