the ch!cktionary

    16 Nov 2011

    Voice Of Russia | Violence Against Female Bloggers

    Following up on my post about the recent Twitter campaigns to bring awareness to gendered cyber harassment, here’s a link to a radio segment I did on the topic as part of Jamila Bey’s SPAR (Sex, Politics, and Religion) show, airing on Voice of Russia’s American outlet (AM 1390 in DC / AM 1430 in NYC). Rebecca Watson, the founder of Skepchick and co-host of the Skeptics Guide to the Universe, was also a guest on the show. Rebecca discussed her own experiences with online harassment, which included a troll who was eventually arrested for making death threats against her.

    Check out the audio recording of the show at the link above.

    For related posts on online harassment, check out the “haterade” tag.

    8 Nov 2011

    Online Harassment & Misogyny On The Rise

    It’s been an eventful week for the targets of online misogyny. Just a few days ago, bloggers began tweeting under the hashtag #ThreatOfTheDay to bring awareness to the violent threats and harassment they face everyday on the Internet. Yesterday, Sady Doyle at Tiger Beatdown wrote about how she was completely blindsided by the extent of the sexism she encountered as a woman blogger:

    What I got, friends, were comments. Comments about myself. And blogs about myself. And message-board discussions, also about myself. And e-mails. What I got was what every woman (feminist or not) and openly anti-sexist person (woman or not) on this our Internet gets: I got targeted. With threats, with insults, with smear campaigns, with attempts to threaten my employment or credibility or just general ability to get through the day with a healthy attitude and a minimal amount of insult.

    She proposed a Twitter campaign using the hashtag #MenCallMeThings. (And if you click on that link, you’ll see some pretty alarming examples of how far we’ve got to go.) Though I’d agree there’s an undeniably gendered nature to many of these attacks, I find it somewhat limiting that men are being called out as perpetrators and women considered their victims. Jessica Bennett at The Daily Beast wrote a story a few days ago about how misogyny plays out on the Internet, using pro-rape Facebook pages as an example. Having received a wide range of insults (based on my race, education, gender, sexual history, etc.) in wide range of forums (email, my comments’ section, anonymous message boards, hate blogs devoted to me), I can attest that gender is not the only component at play, though it has a significant role. According to my experience and social science, the overwhelming majority of online harassers are straight, white, cisgender men, but their victims run the gamut, though they tend to be people of color, queer people, women — in other words, those who are already part of socially marginalized groups. For example, I know many men who have been called pretty nasty things by other men because of their sexual orientation, race, political views, or gender identity. If you don’t abide by the rules of the “in-group”, you’re game for attack.

    I take free speech seriously, so this is not just a case of some sensitive chicks not being able to take criticism. I deal with a lot of pearl-clutching and finger-wagging in my line of work, and I don’t expect most conservative people to agree with my views or my lifestyle. This isn’t about moral judgment, but something far more sinister. The type of people who call you “Asian human garbage” or tell you to “enjoy getting fired” are not god-fearing virginity pledgers who just want you to denounce your sinful ways and accept Jesus into your life*. Trolls are not interested in your immortal soul, and they’re not even really interested in voicing an opinion. Their mission is a very specific and scary one: to tear you down however they can, not simply because they want you to know that you are wrong, but because they want to make it impossible for you to keep doing what you’re doing.

    In my case, it’s clear they want to force me offline. Why else would they go from attacking me and my family/friends/partner to defaming those who read my blog or “like” my Facebook status updates? The fallout is not inconsequential. Some people are, in fact, scared off the web. (Remember the Kathy Sierra incident?) Others, like me, simply start to self-censor or roll back their “public face”, often at a professional disadvantage. There’s no framework in place to identify or punish those who use the Internet to stalk, harass, and intimidate, so the impetus is on the victims to do something about it. Is a Twitter campaign going to put an end to cyber attacks and defamation? Unlikely, since I’m sure the perpetrators are well-aware that they’re engaging in questionably moral behavior. My hope is that media coverage and public attention of this issue will mitigate damage toward victims’ reputations and that reasonable people will think twice before they believe what they read on the Internet.

    * And yes, these are actual comments I’ve gotten.

    Related posts on online harassment:

    Slut-Shaming In Action: A Warning To Readers
    Cyber-Bullying & Slut-Shaming: A Cautionary Tale
    Reader Question: “Why Do You Think You Have So Many Haters?”
    This Is What Slut-Shaming Looks Like

    Have you encountered harassment online? Tweet it with the hashtag #mencallmethings and #threatoftheday or leave it in the comments below. Please use a pseudonym for your own protection.

    Tags: feminism. haterade.

    13 Oct 2011

    Anonymous asked: I'm sure you must get a lot of comments from people about being skinny. Do you have any advice for handling people's comments from "Oh my gosh I wish I could be like you I hate my body" to "Go eat something" ? This is something I've always struggled dealing with.

    I’d actually be REALLY shocked if someone told me to “go eat something”. Maybe it’s just because I’m around a ton of feminist-y, body-positive folks, but I can’t imagine anyone telling me that in a non-joking manner and getting away with it.

    To be honest, I don’t get many body-shamey comments related to my weight these days. I used to when I was heavier, though. The funny thing is, insults about my appearance were something I gradually became indifferent toward over time (especially since trolls on the web are only so compelling), but it’s the compliments I could never quite get used to. It generally makes me uncomfortable when anyone beyond a close friend comments on my body, especially in person. (I don’t feel compelled to respond to Internet commenters, but in real life, I have to come up with SOMETHING nice to say back, and I always feel so awkward.) When I lost a bunch of weight back in 2008/09, this would happen to frequently, and even though I’m sure these were well-meaning acquaintances who only meant to flatter, the whole thing just always made me feel super self-conscious. And here’s the thing: I’m totally cool with chatting about my clothes or my shoes or make-up, but it’s my body itself that I don’t like to discuss.

    The following might seem contradictory to those who haven’t dealt with body issues, but here’s my theory on my hang-up. I’ve actively worked toward becoming more comfortable with my body over the years. Most of my close friends have seen me naked at one point or another. I shun pants at home and have no problem changing in front of my gay, male bestie or showering with my female one. I shunned exercise for many years because going to the gym made me feel worse about my body, not better, and I try to be conscious of whether I’m exercising for the “right” motivations (i.e. not guilt and self-hatred). But despite identifying very strongly with feminist views, I do care a lot about how I look and spend time on cultivating a personal “style”, whateverthefuck that means. Simultaneously, however, I dislike it when my appearance is pointed out to me. Unless it comes from a close friend, it feels like some sort of intrusion on my personal space, even if said with good intentions. I’m sure that part of my reaction is almost certainly related to having my body quite literally exposed and scrutinized by the masses. It makes me feel like a spectacle.

    I think my discomfort also results from my suspicion that my body is being used as someone else’s yardstick. I know all too well what that’s like; when I was younger, I’d compare myself to other girls and throw up because I didn’t feel skinny enough next to them. I’d compliment my friends — and mean every word, but I’d do so while beating myself up at the same time. I get a lot of questions from readers who want to know what kind of exercises I do or how they, too, can eat what I eat without gaining weight. And alongside their queries are expressions of dissatisfaction with their own bodies. I don’t want to just ignore the topic altogether, but I never know how to respond. Because isn’t the underlying question — no matter how it’s phrased — always, “How can I be skinny like you?” It’s the “like you” part that really gets to me, because I don’t want to represent an ideal for anyone. I don’t even think skinniness itself is an ideal worth agonizing over.

    I guess could answer these questions anyway, complete with a handy little disclaimer that says that being healthy should be the ultimate goal, NOT being skinny. The problem is that I don’t actually think that’s a compelling argument to someone who doesn’t like their body as it is. I know exactly what they’re thinking and how they’ll gloss over my concerns. I know these girls, because I used to be one of them, and sometimes, I wonder if I still am. It’s a huge Catch-22, and I don’t know any better than you do if there’s an appropriate response. If anyone has one, I’m all ears.

    More burning questions? Ask Lena.

    Related posts on body image, dieting, and health:
    What Sex Blogging & The Freshman 15 Taught Me
    The Gym-A-Phobe’s Guide To Having Your Cupcake & Eating It Too
    Reader Question: “How do you reconcile your feminism and beauty/fashion consumption?”
    Reader Question: “What are the merits of having small breasts?”
    The Blueprint Myth
    Sex And The Ivy: The Purge of Purging

    Throughout October, I’m competing to win my own web series on SHAPE.com. I’d really appreciate it if you supported TheChicktionary.com in the Best Blogger Awards. (It’s super easy to vote, just a click!)

    5 Oct 2011

    Vote For The 2011 WMC Social Media Award

    So kids, I’m a nominee for the 2011 Social Media Award from the Women’s Media Center. If you’ve found my blogging and online communication strategy* to be helpful/entertaining/educational/etc., cast a vote for me here!

    Y’all are always asking me for website recommendations, so here’s a tip: check out the other nominees in the category. According to the Women’s Media Center, “The nominees represent a diverse group of journalists, bloggers and tweeters who spread their ‘message’ by using their creativity and resourcefulness via the interwebs through social networking, blogging and mobile outreach.” I’m friends with several of the nominated women, so I can attest that they are as awesome personally as they are professionally. They do some fabulously creative work and represent a really diverse spectrum of interests (they’re not all writers, by the way). On the voting page, you can read bios for each person and click over to their site.

    Thanks for voting! And because this IS a social media award after all, I encourage you to reblog, Tweet, and distribute this post widely ;)

    * This “online communications strategy” largely consists of sneaking commentary about gender politics in between posts about domestic squabbles and inappropriate conversations I’ve had with my friends. Given my inability to sound or look like an adult in real life, I think I actually make a better impression from behind the computer screen.

    Tags: feminism. press.

    5 Oct 2011

    “Confessions Of A Bad Feminist: I, Too, Wish For Beauty”Underwired Magazine | October 2011 I have a piece reprinted in Underwired Magazine this month. I don’t write all that frequently about body image — or my body, for that matter — but it’s one of the most common topics that readers ask me about. I’ve written before that I don’t feel comfortable giving advice on exercise or diet: 1) because I’m not anyone’s doctor and 2) because I think it’s misguided to equate “being healthy” with “looking ‘good’”, especially since definitions of attractiveness are anything but arbitrary. Another reason for my hesitance, however, is the fact that I struggle with how I look myself. It’s not like I’m sooo beyond superficial concerns about my waistline simply because I’ve taught myself some feminist theory. It’s an on-going, up-hill battle, and the above essay was one step toward a healthier body image. But I’m not there yet and I wonder if I ever will be. (More on this topic tomorrow.) For the high-resolution version of the essay, click here. Related posts on body image, dieting, and health:What Sex Blogging & The Freshman 15 Taught MeThe Gym-A-Phobe’s Guide To Having Your Cupcake & Eating It TooReader Question: “How do you reconcile your feminism and beauty/fashion consumption?”Reader Question: “What are the merits of having small breasts?”The Blueprint MythSex And The Ivy: The Purge of Purging

    “Confessions Of A Bad Feminist: I, Too, Wish For Beauty”
    Underwired Magazine | October 2011

    I have a piece reprinted in Underwired Magazine this month. I don’t write all that frequently about body image — or my body, for that matter — but it’s one of the most common topics that readers ask me about. I’ve written before that I don’t feel comfortable giving advice on exercise or diet: 1) because I’m not anyone’s doctor and 2) because I think it’s misguided to equate “being healthy” with “looking ‘good’”, especially since definitions of attractiveness are anything but arbitrary. Another reason for my hesitance, however, is the fact that I struggle with how I look myself. It’s not like I’m sooo beyond superficial concerns about my waistline simply because I’ve taught myself some feminist theory. It’s an on-going, up-hill battle, and the above essay was one step toward a healthier body image. But I’m not there yet and I wonder if I ever will be. (More on this topic tomorrow.)

    For the high-resolution version of the essay, click here.

    Related posts on body image, dieting, and health:
    What Sex Blogging & The Freshman 15 Taught Me
    The Gym-A-Phobe’s Guide To Having Your Cupcake & Eating It Too
    Reader Question: “How do you reconcile your feminism and beauty/fashion consumption?”
    Reader Question: “What are the merits of having small breasts?”
    The Blueprint Myth
    Sex And The Ivy: The Purge of Purging

    3 Oct 2011

    “How To Lose Your Virginity” filmmaker Therese Shechter captured some amazing footage and interviews from SlutWalk NYC, which I attended on Saturday. Check out a gal dressed as Hester Prynne (!!) at 00:23, Jenn Levya of Fat And The Ivy at 00:30, Jennifer Pozner of Women In Media and News at 00:50, Sady Doyle of Tiger Beatdown at 01:28, and feminist writer Nona Willis Aronowitz at 2:06.

    I missed the sign-making portion of the event, so I hijacked someone else’s “I ask for it when I’m asking for it” poster (see if you can spot it in the video!) I think the award for geekiest/cleverest sign has got to go to Jenn for the following creation:

    This post comes after many, MANY reader requests on SlutWalk coverage. I’ve been following the event quite closely, but for a host of reasons, haven’t felt qualified to comment on the it. Salamishah Tillet, a classmate from my Progressive Women’s Voices media training, wrote a piece for The Nation last week about participating as a woman of color. I share many of her mixed feelings toward SlutWalk. (I encourage you to read her essay.)

    I didn’t “dress up” for the event, by which I mean that I didn’t dress down. That surprised at least a couple of my friends, since I’ve never been one to turn down an opportunity to scandalize. I didn’t see that as the point of SlutWalk, though. While I’m sure the scantily clad crowds are part of the reason why the event has attracted (often inaccurate) media coverage, the organizers encouraged marchers to wear what makes them comfortable. Had the weather not been on the chillier end, would I have gone topless? Maybe, but ultimately, what I or any other marcher wore was irrelevant, because the event itself was about why no one’s outfit — or sexual history, background, job, etc. — should ever be used as a justification for sexual harassment and assault. As Nona said in the above video, she’s even been harassed while wearing sweatpants and PJ’s. So why in the world do we still have cops telling women to “protect” themselves by not dressing like sluts? If sexual violence prevention were really that simple, rape wouldn’t exist in the Northeast during the parka-happy months of December-March.

    Have you attended a SlutWalk event? I’d be interested to hear about your experience! Here are some thoughts from Therese, the filmmaker of the above clip:

    This past Saturday, October 1st, Slutwalk came to New York City, and I was there with my camera to record scene at the march. Please feel free to share it far and wide!*

    For me, one of the truly frustrating things about coverage of SlutWalks all over the world has been the media’s focus on the most elaborately undressed and risque marchers, leading people to believe the events are solely about demanding the right to dress like a slut. I hope this video gives people a sense of the range of participants (gender, orientation, background, race, age) that were there marching, chanting and generally raising some hell. You’ll want to hit pause over and over again to read all the signs!!

    Some other coverage of the event from The Nation, RH Reality Check, NY Post (but not loving the ‘hundreds of scantily clad ladies’ line). Please send us more links to stories!

    A BRIEF PRIMER:

    If you’re not familiar with SlutWalk, the SlutwalkNYC organizers have lots of info on their website, but here’s quick intro:

    SlutWalk has become a worldwide grassroots movement challenging rape culture, victim-blaming and slut-shaming, and working to end sexual and domestic violence. The name has been controversial, but the mission is a powerful one: to shed the stereotypes and myths of sexual assault, support a better understanding of why sexual assault happens, and put the blame where it belongs–on those who perpetrate it.

    SlutWalk started in my fabulous home town of Toronto, where in January 2011 a group of York University college students asked a representative of the Toronto Police Department how keep themselves safe from sexual assault. His response of “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized” galvanized the women into creating SlutWalk in Toronto.

    At the time, I’m sure they didn’t realize they were about to unleash a powerful political movement that would spread like wildfire. Marches have been held all over the world, from Delhi to Capetown, Seoul to Mexico City, and in cities all across the US.

    SLUTWALK NYC’s MISSION:

    No matter who you are
    No matter where you work
    No matter how you identify
    No matter how you flirt
    No matter what you wear
    No matter who you choose to love
    No matter what you said before:

    NO ONE has the right to touch you without your consent.

    *We’d love you to share and embed this video, and if you can, please link back to this blog at virginitymovie.com or to Trixie Films at trixiefilms.com. If you want to do more than embed it, like use it in your own project, please contact us and we’ll figure it out. Thanks for supporting independent feminist media!

    (via SlutWalkNYC: A Video Diary | How to Lose Your Virginity)

    27 Sep 2011

    Mookychick | Interview With Lena Chen

    Magda Knight from the UK alternative women’s site Mookychick did an interview with me on sex blogging and feminism. Here’s a snippet on the politics of coming out:

    Magda: We were really interested by something John Barrowman said recently in a Metro interview, that he felt it was totally reasonable to stay in the closet if you weren’t ready to come out for personal reasons, but he hoped everyone staying in the closet for career reasons would make an effort to overcome their reticence. We’re thinking of all the celebrities and politicians and religous figures out there (including the ones that might be gay but are still anti gay marriage)… Do you have an opinion on holding back from coming out?

    Lena: I feel really uncomfortable with the outing of prominent people, nor do I think that anyone has an obligation to come out. Even though if someone is relatively privileged compared to the next person, sexuality is an incredibly personal thing that belongs to them and no one else. Who knows if they’re keeping quiet because they don’t want to upset their family or if they’re afraid of being fired? Employment discrimination is a very real concern, since there’s no federal law against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Outing someone for political purposes — even in the name of progress — violates their privacy and also makes it seem like homosexuality is something to be ashamed of. Beyond that, I question whether “coming out” is really the most effective way to bring about change. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to “come out”, and queer folks who are further marginalized because of socioeconomic status, disability, geographic residence, and religion may feel particular pressure to make symbolic statements, but they’re also the ones who face the greatest repercussions for leaving the closet.

    We also covered my upbringing, online harassment, the pros and cons of Internet activism and the feminist blog-o-sphere, sex work, and much, much more. Check it out!

    Tags: press. feminism.

    19 Sep 2011

    Rookie | I Was a Teenage Activist

    Sady Doyle interviewed me a while back for this just-published feature in Rookie, a new online publication started by Tavi Gevinson, the 15-year-old fashion blogger behind Style Rookie. Rookie is unlike anything I’ve seen for the teenage girl demographic, by which I mean that it’s actually relatable and doesn’t assume that girls need make-up tips. (How To Turn Your Life Into A Coming-Of-Age Movie? Genius.)

    I was so flattered to be included in the above piece (and alongside JESSICA YEE, hello). Check out the site :) I’m pretty psyched that something like this exists.

    Tags: press. feminism.

    29 Aug 2011

    Today was the last day of Progressive Women’s Voices! These are some of my classmates from the training. (I don’t have photos of all of them, but I’ll post a group shot at some point.)

    The past week has been really intense: 9 to 5 trainings, getting ambushed on camera, many late nights to catch up with DC friends, plus all the hurricane hullabaloo to top it off. Completing PWV was like being hazed for a sorority. (I’ve never been in a sorority, so I wouldn’t really know, but you know what I mean.) I’m really happy that I got to pick up some public speaking knowledge, but even more grateful that PWV put me in contact with amazing people I wouldn’t have otherwise met.  These women are SO accomplished — professors, lawyers, non-profit founders. I’m still astounded that I was selected to participate!

    Today’s also my last night in DC. I have a couple meetings tomorrow morning (with Feminist Majority Foundation and the National Campaign To Prevent Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy). And then it’s back to Boston! Can’t wait to see the dude and the pup :)

    Tags: feminism. travel.

    12 Aug 2011

    Headed to D.C. this month for Progressive Women's Voices Program!

    Very honored to be a part of this program, which is being run by the Women’s Media Center (the same folks who brought me to San Francisco this past spring). I’ll be in D.C. from August 25th to 30th for PWV and a much-needed reunion with my best friend Kennedy :) Shoot me a line if you want to meet up!

    The Women’s Media Center will host an elite women’s media training and leadership program, Progressive Women’s Voices (PWV), in Washington, DC. Moving the program from New York City to Washington, DC reflects the need to make women visible and powerful in our nation’s capital. Now in its fourth year, PWV continues to be one of the most elite programs in the country, training and mentoring issue experts and emerging commentators. The debut class of the Women’s Media Center’s Washington, DC training program, includes experts in women’s economic empowerment, human rights, gender and race, public health, national politics, sexuality and street harassment. These women are journalists, organizers, filmmakers, academics, and public speakers, and reflect diversity generally absent from mainstream media coverage. The new class joins more than 115 Progressive Women’s Voices alumnae, forming a roster of media-trained women who are visibly and powerfully commenting on the important issues of the day.

    Full press release (and list of all 15 participants) here

    Tags: feminism.