In a bit of a F-U to heteronormative cultural norms, I replace most instances of the term “premarital sex” in my thesis with “non-marital sex”. Because who the hell says that the sex my friends and I are having now is pre-anything?
(Especially when some of them can’t get married.)
The Crimson writes up a rundown of Harvard’s first-ever Feminist Coming Out Day, which kicked off Women’s Week 2010. It was awesome, and I’m sure someone has photos of me running around wildly and being super frazzled. (I have done far more articulate interviews when my brain wasn’t thesis-fried.)
Happy Women’s Week!
Tomorrow is Harvard University’s first-ever Feminist Coming Out Day!
I wish I could tell you what the heck I was thinking when I thought it’d be a good idea to plan an event for THREE DAYS before my thesis deadline. Yeah, I know. Nonetheless, I will be donning my “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like” shirt and button with pride tomorrow.
Come and check out the reception we’ll be hosting for the Feminist Portrait Project, featuring the many faces of feminism at Harvard. It takes place at Adams Art Space from 8-10pm.
(Brought to you by the awesome kids in the Radcliffe Union of Students and the Queer Students & Allies)
This article is amazing and going in my thesis.
In light of Women’s Week at Harvard, I wanted to share this fascinating article, titled “Birth of a Feminist”, from the Harvard Gazette written in 2005 by Ann Shapiro, Radcliffe Class of 1958.
I think we rarely hear about Harvard’s rich history — nevertheless the history of Radcliffe (what is now the Quad) — so reading this article was very illuminating. There are some great lines - the author is a great narrator - so below are some gems I particularly enjoyed:“Both Harvard and Radcliffe had elaborate parietal rules to assist us. At Radcliffe we had a limited number of ‘one o’clocks’ and we dutifully signed in at the end of the evening. It is hard to imagine what lewd activities all this prevented, but there seemed to be tacit agreement that as long as we were locked in the dormitories by 1 a.m., all would be well.”“Although I became fairly adept at keeping my blouse buttoned even amidst the periodic fumblings in the back seat of a car, I was almost defeated one warm spring evening by a wise Harvard junior who accused me of ‘bourgeois morality.’ Having just read Karl Marx, I knew enough to eschew everything bourgeois, but my mother had not lectured me in vain about used women. I won the debate in the back seat of the car, but I lost my Harvard junior.”“Those of us who forgot that we were not permitted to enter Lamont, the undergraduate library in Harvard Yard, were unceremoniously expelled from the premises as ‘trespassers.’”“At Harvard, the B School was the only one that actually closed its doors to women, although the Harvard Business School Wives Club awarded its members a Ph.T. (Putting Hubby Through) diploma, a mimeographed document suitable for display on the refrigerator, not in the executive suite.”
Following up on my post about the disproportionate amount of hate directed at women who blog, here’s a guide to the five types of sexist comments that you’ll typically encounter as a female blogger. (Complete with real comments as examples!)
1. The Body Snarking Commenter. Examples:
Your face is so ugly that your cat is more attractive than you. [link]
I see in the pictures a rather ugly moon-faced girl who has given her size a weight problem. [link]
You are really, really fat… I mean, just look at your face in the mirror, jeez. [link]
There is a little-noticed undercurrent of misogyny that still attacks women who don’t conform to a norm, such as a beauty ideal. Ask any moderately popular female blogger; sooner or later, she’ll get a nasty comment about her appearance. Women who don’t pass the fuckability test are fair game for critique. If you are too short/chubby/flat-chested/oily-faced/unfashionable/otherwise inadequate, then someone’s going to tell you to shut the fuck up. Such low blows, however, are rarely directed at men. Though women are treated as undeserving of respect unless they conform to XYZ standard, men aren’t held to the same expectations. Don’t believe that women face particular discrimination because they’re women? Think for a second about the type of insults lobbed at guys: pussy, fag, queer, bitch. The worst way to insult a man is to imply that he possesses qualities of a woman.
2. The Resentful Commenter. Examples:
Lena is an idiot. She thinks because she went to Harvard and majored in sociology, she smarter than everyone. Fucking stupid. [link]
Ugh! You are so full of yourself! Diarrhea of the mouth! I’m un-following this stuck-up Harvard whore. [link]
You are not entitled to endless european travel, ice cream, and sex, let alone happiness. [link]
This sort of criticism is akin to calling a Black person “uppity” just because they dare to act like they’re as intelligent as Whites. Though name-dropping an Ivy League school is sure to bring these commenters out of the woodwork, they also appear voluntary when a woman reveals that her vocabulary shockingly consists of more than 200 words. These folks can’t stand the thought of a woman with a better degree, career, or life in general. Remember when Hillary was characterized during the primaries as an overly ambitious shrew? If she were a male politician, she’d be described as “driven”.
3. The Vengeful Commenter. Examples:
Your name will always be associated with being a whore and a degenerate. That will live on forever. You are damaged goods. Not employable. Blacklisted from every reputable company in the world. [link]
Enjoy getting fired after three months in every job when your employer finds out about this. [link]
You have no job opportunities because of your whorish ways that ruined your life forever. [link]
Closely related to the Resentful Commenter, this type of person writes fortune-cookie-style omens informing you that your future is doomed. Oftentimes, they show up just to remind you that failure is imminent. Thanks for the memo, guys!
4. The Racist Commenter. Examples:
You asian girls are such cockblockers and such haters sometimes. [link]
I want a 2 item combo. I want fried rice and double orange chicken. Thank you. [link]
Too many ugly pieces of Asian human garbage like YOU think you are American and claim to have been born here. [link]
At this point, this is getting pretty self-explanatory. This particular type of commenter also trolls blogs written by men, but on women’s blogs, they get to creatively incorporate sexual stereotypes. Think: sideways pussy and “me love you long time”. Let’s move on.
5. The Sociopathic Commenter. Examples:
Tape a plastic bag on your head kill yourself live on a webcam. Just make sure we can see your pussy getting wet while you die. [link]
suck my dick slut. its impossible for you to be raped because that implies your unwilling. [link]
I am gonna find you, if it is the last thing I do … you are the one in front of me that I need to fucking anihilate … Your own writting will be the path to your graveyard. [link]
And then there are some people who are just plain scary.
WHY SHUTTING UP ISN’T THE ANSWER
Now that you know humanity sucks, what next? The above overview of online haterade is pretty depressing, but I think it highlights an important reality that requires our attention: sexism and misogyny are far from dead. Consider what a somewhat apologetic “hater” says:
Lena,
I’m not a fan of yours, and I’ve posted nasty comments on your blog before. Now I regret having doing so, not having been aware of the extent of your pain … What you’ve experienced is human nature. It’s not pretty. There’s a lot of ambient, bitter hatred for female promiscuity (or the perception thereof) and your blog made you a lightning rod for it. The ambient hatred will never go away, and while it may not be virtuous, it’s a bad idea to provoke it by making a blog about your personal sex life. [link]
Though this commenter’s remorse made me feel slightly better, I disagree with the belief that it is “a bad idea to provoke” gender-based hatred by writing about sex (or any controversial topic, for that matter). While a female blogger, by virtue of her gender, is likely to attract more vitriol, remaining silent for fear of criticism only perpetuates the idea that you’re either a good girl or a difficult woman. And who wants to be the latter, right? Having experienced extremely cruel criticism myself, I know first-hand how much easier it is to simply self-censor or to click “delete” when you see a vicious comment. Yet it never ceases to amaze me how many people believe gender inequality no longer exists. Is it any surprise? Far too few women talk about this stuff! Rather than turning a blind eye to gender-based attacks, we should draw readers’ attention to them and actively agitate against this type of silencing.
Women, especially those with their own forums, must insist on the same respect given so easily to men. These small yet ubiquitous acts of shaming only become more effective if we try to swallow and ignore them. Since I’ve started posting some particularly atrocious offenses, I’ve seen more and more of my readers fight back against the misogyny they witness. Conversations, which might have never otherwise occurred, are sparked by a single troll’s comment. If women’s opinions and viewpoints are to be taken seriously, then they have to be considered on their own merit and not tainted by sexist expectations of how we ought to act. When we put our names to our writing, we must be able to trust that judgment of our work will be based on the quality of our arguments, not on our socially acceptable dress size or our agreeable nature or our willingness to go out with a stranger from the Internet. I will probably always encounter the occasional sexist remark and so will many of you, but rather than viewing it as disheartening, use it as an opportunity to emphasize that the struggle for gender equality is far from over.
Harvard kiddies, a message from the Queer Students & Allies Women’s Events Chair (i.e. yours truly):
Feminist Coming Out Day is coming and the QSA and RUS want your help! Join the viral campaign to spread the word that feminism is as strong as ever at Harvard. Here’s how you can help:
Step 1: Save this template on your computer.
Step 2: Customize with your photo in an image editing program.
Step 3: Upload to Facebook.
Step 4: Wait for new, awesome details about what Feminist Coming Out Day will bring!
Spread the word and save the date!
Feminist Coming Out Day
March 8th, 2010 (Harvard College Women’s Week)
Brought to you by the Radcliffe Union of Students & Queer Students and Allies
More details soon!
Evil Daystar, a German blog, concurs with my argument that Der Spiegel was sexist in their depiction of me. The recap: the German newsmagazine, which is considered progressive, described me in a mini-skirt, which 1) did not exist, and 2) served only to distinguish me from my sexually chaste counterpart.
Granted, the male writer of the article definitely found True Love Revolution, Harvard’s abstinence club, a little silly and had no qualms about poking fun at co-president Rachel Wagley. German commenters have pointed out all week on my Sex and the Ivy post that perhaps my criticism is unwarranted in light of the fact that the article is more on my side than on TLR’s. (And despite my very basic German knowledge, I did realize that much.) But you know what the writer should’ve done in that case? Lay off the sexist remarks. If there are substantive arguments against preaching no-sex-until-marriage as the golden standard, then one doesn’t need to resort to sensationalism to get the point across.
I have no idea if the rest of the content on Evil Daystar is this progressive, but I found this commentary incredibly refreshing. If you understand German, check it out.
My American Prospect piece on the college abstinence movement was included in Friday’s edition of the Women’s Health Policy Report, which is published daily by the National Partnership for Women & Families. I’ve been a long-time subscriber to this amazing resource on women’s health policy and reproductive health, so the mention is very exciting!
The Ch!cktionary is written by Lena Chen, a Harvard senior and freelance writer who reports on sex, feminism, and food. The New York Times once called her "a small Asian woman". She was not amused.
Lena's blogging career started with the infamous Sex and the Ivy. For the full story, check out Lena's bio and portfolio.
The Chicktionary by Lena Chen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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