the ch!cktionary

    24 Jan 2011

    Slut-Shaming In Action: A Warning To Readers

    As I’ve mentioned before, writing a sex blog has made me a moving target for some of the most hateful screeds in the Internet’s existence. My comments section used to be a much more nasty place than it is today, and I was regularly attacked by trolls who called me a whore and wished me death on a near-daily basis. As a result, I’ve developed pretty thick skin over the years, and I can generally brush off these intrusions no worse for the wear. I never expected, however, for these people to also go after my friends, then my family, and now, my readers. And that’s exactly what’s been happening.

    They’ve written rants about Patrick, my college roommates, my best friends Jason and Kennedy, and even my little sister. The attacks on my blog commenters, however, appear to be a recent phenomenon. Today, I received notes from two readers, one who found out that several websites published her full name and college, while calling her a “skank” for commenting on my blog. The other also informed me:

    “Someone apparently discovered the identities of a bunch of commenters on your blog and put them on a messageboard, as one of the named commenters I’m extremely creeped out and have no idea how this happened.”

    I’m really sorry that this is happening and I have no explanation for why anyone would put in the effort to stalk not only so-called “sluts” but also the supporters of said sluts (who my deranged detractors refer to as my “tiny cluster of skankleaders”). I think we can all agree that this is a new low in online harassment. Shaming people for reading a blog is completely despicable (not to mention, a total waste of time and energy), but unfortunately, we don’t live in a world where people are mature enough to refrain from calling each other names. Therefore, I think that we have to be practical about the measures one can take.

    If you want to leave a comment without putting your name on it, by all means do it anonymously as a “Guest” and don’t log into my Disqus comment system through a third-party account connected to a Yahoo! ID, Twitter or OpenID profile in which you identify yourself. When choosing a pseudonym, avoid one that uses your initials or actual name. If you are submitting a longer comment or question through the Ask feature, you can always do it anonymously if you don’t want it linked to a Tumblr account. Even if you “like” or reblog one of my posts, you may want to ensure that your Tumblr blog does not contain identifying details like your name, school, or occupation. (And if you’ve already posted something that you want taken down or ever have second thoughts about a published comment, just contact me at the email address listed in my sidebar.) I hate that the only solution I can think of is to encourage anonymity, and I wish I could offer people a 100% guarantee that they can speak freely without fear of retribution, but I can’t, so the best I can do is be honest about the situation and give you guys proper warning. I know firsthand how disheartening it can be to be targeted for simply stating what you believe, and I don’t expect anyone to martyr themselves by principle.

    That said, I’m now accepting applications for additional foot soldiers in my skankarmy! (Doesn’t that sound like the sort of thing that would come in handy in the event of an apocalyptic world war?)

    9 Jan 2011

    [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

    Bad Feminist Confession: I’m obsessed with an anti-feminist song.

    Mickey Avalon’s “So Rich, So Pretty” is an old favorite of mine. I used to have it on my iPod when I was living in Heidelberg with Kennedy and running along the Neckar. Just a sampling of lyrics:

    I like a girl who eats and brings it up
    a sassy little frassy with bulimia
    her best friend’s a plastic surgeon
    and when her Beamer’s in the shop she rolls the Benz
    manis and pedis on Sundays and Wednesdays
    money from mommy lovely in Versace
    costly sprees, it’s on at Barney’s
    and I love to watch her go through fifty g’s calmly
    she gets naughty with her pilates body
    and thinks it’s really funny when her nose goes bloody
    ‘cause the blow is so yummy and it keeps her tummy empty
    and makes her act more friendly

    Yay for conspicuous consumption, disordered eating, and drug culture. This is so ridiculous that it has to be a joke, right?

    EDIT: According to Avalon, the album in which this song is featured is  “a glam rap record about Hollywood’s seedy underbelly and the ugliness of my own life.”

    Play count: 647

    Reblogged: lenachen

    26 Dec 2010

    the coy and the abased

    Kennedy is brilliant and this piece on her blog hits a little too close to home:

    We are all of us half in love with our own flaws. And when we, unsolicited, point them out to others, it is not self-reproach that drives our confession, but self-adoration. We bring attention to them as a way of bringing attention to ourselves. Look!, we say, not only am I introspective enough to recognize this flaw, but I’m also honest enough to acknowledge it. Moreover, deep down we delight in the attendant notoriety. When we confess, we do so laughingly and without fear of rejection because, secretly, we believe our flaws worthy of admiration. We become as Narcissus, gazing into a pool of water that reflects our loveliness back to us, all the while feigning humility.

    Who knew our sins would make coy little coquettes of us all. Or liars, if you want to be a bitch about it.

    So enraptured are we that we indulge our flaws, quietly encourage them to grow, cooing gently to the failing that is also our pride and joy that is also our addiction. Until. Some of us grow careless and realize only when this once small facet has moved beyond our control that in playing the role we have allowed it to devour us. Those of us who keep our pet just starved enough to remain weak meet another pitfall, other people. We inevitably encounter those who see our pet not as charming but as a deficiency. Because you see, when strangers point out our flaws it is rarely to admire; it is to condemn. And so very few of us receive criticism graciously. But it may be that the real source of our affection is a pragmatic, if unseemly, self-defense. Perhaps the flaws that we love the longest are the ones that, deep down, we know we can’t change, and that even more secretly, sicken us. Little wonder that we are so loathe to hear confirmation of these flaws, which is no less than a reminder of our failure to change.

    And now for a meta-confession. Because the artist really paints only himself, even this post is a confession of sorts, making it just as masturbatory and perverse as the conceit it purports to reveal. If all but our most courageous confessions are those of the religious man who debases and vilifies himself only to further glorify his piety, silence provides the only alternative to covert self-aggrandizement. How then can I justify writing something which in and of itself criticizes and possibly delegitimizes the very project it undertakes? I suppose there is no true reconciliation and we will have to hope that the pleasure of expression sufficiently redeems the unavoidable aftertaste of affectation. Every confidant, be they readers or best friends, can choose to believe that the confessions they hear lack the sort of malicious insincerity that warrants condemnation. Or maybe just accept that ultimate humility, like ultimate altruism, is impossible or in any case never made anyone particularly happy.

    Reblogged: likepolishingfirewood

    21 May 2010

    Evidence I’m not a totally lame senior: me, Kennedy, and Mandy at the Quad Luau. We’re very spirited. Trust me.

    Evidence I’m not a totally lame senior: me, Kennedy, and Mandy at the Quad Luau. We’re very spirited. Trust me.

    Tags: Harvard.

    19 Nov 2009

    The title of Kennedy’s paper: “Remember that time when I was supposed to write my Folk & Myth paper but didn’t get around to start it until the morning it was due?” To be fair, the title actually has something to do with the topic — “the community building function of anecdotes that begin with the formulaic phrase ‘remember that time when’”. Still, my bestie is pretty ballsy. And she got an A/A-.

    The title of Kennedy’s paper: “Remember that time when I was supposed to write my Folk & Myth paper but didn’t get around to start it until the morning it was due?”

    To be fair, the title actually has something to do with the topic — “the community building function of anecdotes that begin with the formulaic phrase ‘remember that time when’”. Still, my bestie is pretty ballsy.

    And she got an A/A-.

    Tags: Harvard.

    11 Nov 2009

    No Pain, No Gain: The IUD Insertion Process

    I finally found myself face-to-face with a foot-long box containing my IUD. Thankfully, the size was misleading. The IUD is actually just 1.5 inches long. Still, that little device was responsible for the most painful experience of my life and I say this as someone who’s gotten five piercings and a tattoo … Unless you’re certain you can withstand a lot of pain, going the all-natural route might lead to a rude cervical awakening. Here are a few things that you can do to avoid my experience…

    I spent years taking birth control pills on and off, depending on the state of my sex and love life, but when I met Patrick, I started a long, unbroken streak of pill-popping. Perhaps it was just my particular prescription, but over a year later, my sex drive had waned considerably and intercourse became uncomfortable — even painful. I’m really glad I decided to look into the IUD. It’s been more than a month since I’ve completed the switch, and my body (specifically, my vagina) is beginning to revert to its perky, pre-Pill self. I have to admit that when I decided to go off birth control pills, it was all based on a hunch. I didn’t know for sure why my body was behaving so erratically, but I figured that it couldn’t hurt to reduce the amount of hormones I ingested.

    The one downside of the IUD? Putting it in hurts. In my case, it hurt a lot. Don’t let that discourage you, though. I accompanied Kennedy to her IUD appointment the week after mine, and she didn’t even realize when the doctor inserted it. There are also a lot of precautions which you can take to avoid my experience. If you’re considering an IUD, do yourself a favor and read my piece on SexReally.com.

    Tags: sex ed. freelance.

    1 Nov 2009

    This picture sums up what the entire night was like: Jason was sweaty, Christine was jaded, and Kennedy was drunk. In other words, not a complete success. I also didn’t realize that some of the parties would be guest-listed. I guess I just assumed that fraternities were unlike final clubs in that respect. However, the frats at MIT are definitely more diverse and egalitarian than Harvard final clubs. No contest there. I don’t think anyone in my group was feeling the music either, predominantly heavy rap. We were in the mood for music from the likes of Lady Gaga, Britney, and other shiny white women adored by the gays. Great company, but totally WRONG scene. I can’t do massive college parties anymore.

    This picture sums up what the entire night was like: Jason was sweaty, Christine was jaded, and Kennedy was drunk. In other words, not a complete success.

    I also didn’t realize that some of the parties would be guest-listed. I guess I just assumed that fraternities were unlike final clubs in that respect. However, the frats at MIT are definitely more diverse and egalitarian than Harvard final clubs. No contest there.

    I don’t think anyone in my group was feeling the music either, predominantly heavy rap. We were in the mood for music from the likes of Lady Gaga, Britney, and other shiny white women adored by the gays. Great company, but totally WRONG scene. I can’t do massive college parties anymore.

    8 Oct 2009

    I leave for Chicago in ten hours.

    I have yet to pack or write down instructions for Kennedy who will be dog-sitting or complete a problem set due tomorrow.

    UMMM ….

    This will be my first trip to the Midwest. Patrick’s running the marathon on Sunday morning. I plan on sleeping in.

    (I did, however, update the official Lena Chen homepage between classes today.)

    Tags: travel.

    27 Sep 2009

    Kennedy just cut off her entire fro, and I’m kind of distraught. likepolishingfirewood: People always react so personally to my hair. It’s NOT YOURS.

    Kennedy just cut off her entire fro, and I’m kind of distraught.

    likepolishingfirewood:

    People always react so personally to my hair. It’s NOT YOURS.

    Reblogged: likepolishingfirewood

    1 Jun 2009

    Seattle: Baguette Box

    While in Seattle a couple weeks ago, Kennedy and I hid out the rain by ducking into the Capitol Hill location of Baguette Box, a gourmet sandwich shop with a small, Vietnamese-inspired menu.


    Roasted pork loin with apricot aioli baguette, $6.50

    Among the offerings of baguette sandwiches (in varieties such as braised pork shoulder with red wine and grilled ‘la espanola’ chorizo) are interesting items like truffle fries and Thai iced oolong tea, made in-house.



    Fries, $2.80 / Truffle Fries, $4.80

    I opted for a salad myself, made of the same ingredients in the crispy drunken chicken baguette but served alongside greens and drenched in white wine vinaigrette instead.


    Drunken chicken salad, $7.95

    Baguette Box
    1203 Pine Street
    Seattle, WA 98101
    (206) 332-0220

    Tags: reviews. dining. travel.