Anonymous asked: I read your blog almost every day. You've covered almost everything that I've ever had questions about--health, college, sexuality, etc. It's been a great comfort. Please know that you've made a difference in at least one teenage girl's life.
This comment almost made me cry. Not to get all sappy on y’all here, but when I started Sex and the Ivy, “making a difference”, so to speak, isn’t what I expected to happen. I originally blogged only for myself — in the sense that I wanted a space for my thoughts and writing and opinions. And even after I garnered an “audience”, it was still a project for and about Lena (and Lena’s life and Lena’s friends and Lena’s often poor decisions). I like to think that I’ve grown up a little since, that I’ve been able to recognize that having a platform is a supreme privilege, one that I shouldn’t waste on a mere vanity project. That’s why over the past couple years, I’ve started to concentrate on writing about more than my own life. That’s why when I do write about my life, I try to do so in a way that is illuminating to other people.
I have no idea how much or how little difference I make. I don’t know how many people read me as a case study on what not to do. I don’t know how many people actually agree with what I have to say. I don’t know how many minds I change at the end of the day. But even if I post an entry that gets zero comments, I know there are tons of you out there reading. (Thanks to Big Brother, ahem, I mean, Google Analytics.) So I can only hope that you’re getting something out of my writing. Perhaps I challenge your view of relationships by writing about how I conduct my own. Or maybe I expose some unexamined biases you might hold. Or I answer a burning question that you can’t ask anyone else. If I’ve prevented a single girl from turning to Cosmopolitan in a time of need, then I’ve succeeded.
To all the teenage girls out there: I’m not perfect by any means and I don’t have all the answers, so please don’t think of me as a role model. (Unless I decide to start a cult, in which case you can shower me with endless accolades.) Think of me as someone who learned some very valuable lessons and is simply passing them down. One day, you’ll do that too.
And if it weren’t for my readers, I wouldn’t be who I am either. So thanks for that. I’m glad that my blogging has evolved into something that is as much about the people reading as it is about the person writing.
