Getting started on your New Year’s fitness goals? Try out these tips from The New Yorker:
- “Avoid what psychologists refer to as ‘emotional eating.’ This is hard, because many people have a tendency to experience emotions. To solve this problem, consume increasing dosages of psychotropic medications until you cease to feel emotions of any kind.”
- “Water is also a delicious replacement for higher-fat liquids, such as milk. Try pouring water on your cereal or in your coffee. If you’re a baby, try pouring water into your mother’s breasts.”
- “Vigorous sexual intercourse burns up to two hundred calories per hour. Therefore, if you are not currently promiscuous, it is essential that you begin “boning” immediately. Start by having sex with every person you know. Then have sex with numerous people you have never met. Continue doing this until you are thin.”
- “Remind yourself: every person is beautiful on the inside, provided that they are also extremely attractive on the outside.”
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spaceships reblogged this from buyhercandy and added:
Omg, dying. Also, Ozols is the most terrifying nice person I’ve ever met.
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Getting started on your New Year’s fitness goals? Try out these tips from The New Yorker: “Avoid what psychologists...
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These are all quite important, I don’t want...and think of where I would be
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singlescoop:buyhercandy:lenachen:
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singlescoop: buyhercandy: lenachen: Getting started on your New Year’s fitness goals? Try out these tips from The New...
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diachan reblogged this from lenachen and added:
very interesting. Very.
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