Anonymous asked: Hi Lena, I love your blog and respect your opinions so much. Recently I've been exploring my bicuriosity by messing around with some girls. I feel so bad about it, and I don't know why. I just feel like it's really immoral. I don't have weird psychological issues or a strange past or traumatic sexual experiences or anything like that. I'm not religious, and I'm practicing safe sex, so...why do you think this is happening? What should I do? I really like playing with girls, but I still love cock. I think I'm just one of those truly bi people. But I can't keep it up like this if I feel horrible about it every time I do it!! Help, Wise One!!!

Hi! As much as I wish I had some sage wisdom to impart, I don’t really think I’m qualified to give advice on this subject. Yes, I’m a longtime queer ally and advocate, but since I haven’t questioned with my own sexual practices/orientation or engaged in counseling work, I will defer to others who are far better informed than I am.

I realize that you aren’t religious, but a lot of the shame that people feel about what they do in the bedroom is influenced by norms that originated from religion. Heather Corinna of Scarleteen wrote a very thoughtful piece on religious guilt and sexuality that you may refer to. Robyn Ochs, a bisexual activist and educator who has been involved with queer advocacy at Harvard for over 20 years, has on her website a piece on biphobia and some of the prejudices that confront bisexual people. This might offer some insight into the societal expectations that your sexuality challenges. You might also want to check out this special edition of Nerve.com that’s devoted to bisexual viewpoints and experiences. Besides getting used to the idea that bisexuality/curiosity is totally normal and that a lot of other people are in the same shoes as you are, you could consider attending some queer-oriented meet-ups, through campus organizations if you are in college or through local groups if you’re not. Depending on where you live, there may be existing community resources that are aimed at helping those in the initial stages of coming out. (Harvard has peer counseling organizations for this purpose.) And if you live somewhere without a big LGBTQ population, there are plenty of online communities that will welcome you with open arms. (Readers: do you have additional advice/resources for Anonymous?)

As a side note, I love getting reader-submitted questions, but I really can’t give advice about what one should do in their personal life. I’m not at all a medical professional, and as I’ve stated on Sex and the Ivy before, I’m pretty wary of those who profess to be “experts” when really their only qualification is a gimmick. So keep the questions rolling in, but please realize that I’m only 22 and still a week away from my first degree ;)

More burning questions? Ask them here.