On Abstaining From Alcohol & Self-Assertion
Rachel Kramer Bussel blogged today about how drinking (or not) shouldn’t be a big fucking deal:
I despise the “You don’t drink?” question when meeting new people. It seems to come with a tinge of “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Maybe I’m projecting, but still, it definitely comes with a tinge of, “You are not like the rest of us.” I mean, really - pregnant or not, can we just drink or not drink on any given night and not have it be a bfd?
I don’t really drink socially anymore and routinely go to bars without ordering anything (well, except for chili cheese fries, which I could eat for dinner every night). Most of my friends know this about me and Patrick doesn’t drink often either, so it’s only ever awkward when I’m at a huge house party with strangers and not drinking. I think people come across as a bit judge-y toward non-drinkers, because my refusal of alcohol could be construed as a condemnation of their decision to drink. It’s certainly not, of course, since I used to be a huge binge drinker myself. And when I have dinner parties, I always offer my guests a litany of alcoholic beverages. Besides, I’m honestly not that invested in other people’s health or dietary choices.
There is definitely a “drinking culture” among college students and young adults, in that bars are a default meeting place and drinking is a default weekend and post-work social activity. While I do enjoy the occasional pub crawl and even the occasional six or seven shots, that’s definitely not what I want to do every weekend. Or every other weekend. Or even every month. And yeah, every few months or so, I’ll get a little tipsy midday (which i did during that 90-degree afternoon last week), but I hate getting flack for not doing so during the typical cocktail hour, whenever that may be.
Amber L. Rhea gives some good advice on what to do if you’re treated like a freakazoid for refusing booze:
I always reference a comedian whose name I can’t even remember now but who once did a routine on how people don’t act all weird about anything else the way they do about alcohol. People don’t go, “You don’t use mayonnaise? Why? Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise?”
Seriously, I don’t care if you drink, and I will not judge you for being drunk in front of me. Just give me the same respect!
