Lena Chen (via britticisms)

Full disclosure: I consider Lena a good friend.

I was initially shocked by the photo, which features Lena with cum-stained lips post-blowjob.

On further introspection, I’m not really offended by the photo. It’s hot, in its own way.

But I’m not sure that Lena’s defense that she’s pushing the envelope and breaking taboos holds water. Don’t get me wrong: Lena is a really important voice for sex-positive young women, myself included.

But how will a picture of cum open the minds of sexual conservatives and slut-shaming naysayers? How will that make them re-consider their positions? Their visceral reaction to Lena’s photo won’t make them stop and think about their attitudes about sex. They’ll probably just shake their heads in disgust and mark it on their personal totem poles of their own personal apocalypse(s).

If Lena’s writing for herself (which I know she mostly is) whatevs. But will shock value change the minds of those already predisposed to disagree? I’m thinking about this photo especially in light of Yale grad Alisa Schvartz’s abortion art.

(via jessicagoldharalson)

My point was not to make anyone reconsider their position or to open their minds or to anything. I had no point when it came to this photo, just like I have no point when I post stupid things my friends say. I didn’t post the cumshot to be controversial. I posted the cumshot, without even considering it might be controversial. Because you see, I like to act and live as if the world I live in wouldn’t care enough about some stupid photo to waste time reacting to it in horror and disgust. And trust me, the amount of outrage has been ridiculous. Here’s a sampling:

1. Blog posts, comments, and emails from both readers and critics who all agree that I’ve finally gone too far. Seriously, I’m flattered. I feel like I just caused mass genocide.
2. Mass unsubscription from my blogs. Announcements of unsubscription from my blogs. I can’t even begin to understand why anyone thinks I would care about their shift in opinion, because this assumes that I’m posting my sexploits to become popular or something. Newsflash: NO ONE LIKES SLUTS. I don’t write to make anyone like me so I don’t care if you don’t like me anymore.
3. An email from a “concerned Harvard alumnus” who has informed me that he’s sent my parents a letter so that I can finally “get the help [I] need.”
4. Various condescending comments suggesting that I’m above all this. Because I’m demeaning myself by showing a photo with cum on my face. Because I’m a serious writer. Because this discredits me. Um, thanks for caring so much about my literary reputation, guys. If self-censorship is what it takes for credibility, I’ll happily opt out of being a “serious writer.”

So apparently, even though I conduct myself as if I live in a world that would care more about actual genocide, racism, poverty, and homophobia than a stupid fucking photo posted by an irrelevant college girl, that’s obviously not the world I live in. Too bad. I’m going to keep pretending like this society is sexually open, as if none of my antics are “controversial,” as if people care about things bigger than sex, which means I’m probably going to continue doing a lot of stuff others find objectionable. Whatever. You guys obviously have don’t live in my world. Have fun in yours.