She goes fuckin’ nuts, that’s what.

I’ve been in LA since Friday to visit my family. No dog, no dude, and surprise, no Internet! I realized shortly after being left alone in my house that my iPhone doesn’t get 3G at my house. Or EDGE. Or, well, any reception. In fact, on Saturday, my phone wasn’t able to make or receive calls, send or receive text messages, or retrieve emails. Basically, my supposedly smart phone couldn’t do ANYTHING that a phone is supposed to do.

As if that were not disconcerting enough, my house phone doesn’t work, nor does the Internet. Apparently, our phone lines are so old that any kind of maintenance work that is done on our block tends to mess up everything inside my house. So now I’m on customer support with AT&T and clawing my eyes out over the fact that I am trapped in my own home with no car or connection to the outside world.

Really, someone shoot me.

Anyhow, I am getting writing/reading done, working on my abs, hanging out with my grandparents, and later today, will be heading to Alloy Digital’s offices in Beverly Hills to film a couple segments for gURL.com. Alloy is generously sending a car (thank heavens) to the nursing facility my grandfather is at, so that I don’t end up having to take a bus for two hours. I know I’ve been saying for years that I will learn how to drive, but seriously, kids, when I get back to Boston next week, I am immediately signing up for driver’s ed. I cannot hitch rides from my mommy anymore.

Of course, then there’s the question of who the hell will be willing to insure my ass.