How Not To Measure Your Cup Size
Do not ask your boyfriend roommate to help you determine your cup size. He 1) knows nothing about bra sizing and 2) will get distracted. Note the following exchange:
Him: Don’t worry, you’re not an A-cup!
Me: UM. How would you know?
Him: I’ve seen a variety of boobs, and yours are definitely a B.
Me (after putting on a 34B): See?! Look at all this space!
Him (pushing the cups against my breasts): Maybe this bra is just shaped funny.
Me: Do you want to see me in my other 34B bras?
Him: Do you have anything that does fit?
Me (putting another one on): Yeah, this 32A.
Him: Okay, now unhook the back.
Me (unhooking myself): Okay…
Him (holding cups up with his hands): Fine, so maybe you’re an A and a half!
Me: Whatever.
Him (starts to jiggle the cups): Hmm …
Me: Um, are you still trying to help or are you just playing with them now?
Lessons learned from this experience:
- People who do not wear bras know nothing about bra sizing.
- People who enjoy breasts will start playing with them when given the opportunity.
- I am a 34A.
