Anonymous asked: it seems to me that you are slightly hypocritical in that you preach sex positive and non judgemental ideas, yet everything you write seems to be pervaded with derision towards those who make a personal choice to forgoe promiscuity or to wait beyond teenage years to lose their virginity. i'm a seventeen year old girl, and i'm constantly bombarded with the message that i should lose my virginity, or else risk being labelled as a prude; ugly and unwanted. you have ignored this social problem...
I’d be curious to see where you’ve witnessed me being derisive toward virgins! I’ve written quite a bit about the topic of virginity, researched it for my senior thesis, and organized a conference on it. Most of my friends didn’t have sex until college or after college and I’ve openly supported readers who want to wait. (To the extent where I was once mischaracterized by Slate as an abstinence advocate!) To be clear: I don’t advocate anything but freedom to choose and freedom from stigma. The bottom line is that your sexual decision-making has to happen on YOUR terms, not anyone else’s. That’s an integral part of sex positivity.
For more on this topic, you should check out some of the following posts I’ve written about virgin-shaming and choosing abstinence:
“Are feminists guilty of virgin-shaming?”
Reader Question: “Am I making a big deal over ‘saving it’ for marriage?”
Reader Question: “How do we ‘rethink virginity’?”
Reader Question: “What are the wrong reasons for someone to be abstinent?”
Would you like to see me do sexual health coverage and reader Q&A’s on video? Head over to SHAPE Magazine to vote for TheChicktionary.com in the Best Blogger Awards. (It’s super easy to vote, just a click!)
