Anonymous asked: Hey Lena! This is a follow up question to the posts you have done on HPV. I'm 22 and last year had my annual pap-smear and was told that I have HPV and abnormal cells. You have to wait a year before a follow up smear to see if anything has changed, so I am currently waiting for that. My question is, should I tell someone I am about to have sex with that I have HPV? Is it morally wrong not to? I am worried that this will be really hard to explain as I will have to probably explain HPV in full...
Hi there! I’ve actually answered this exact question before. Short answer: 1) I think you should always be honest with people you’re having sex with, and 2) only have sex with people with whom you can be honest. That said, because HPV is so common and my partners don’t get tested for it (since they don’t get pap smears), I’ve never personally expected anyone to tell me that they have HPV. I do have conversations about sexual history and health with partners, so that’s when I usually bring up my abnormal paps and potential HPV. Sometimes, people are confused and I have to educate them on it, but mostly, the reaction has been, “Well, everyone has it, and I probably do too.” If they freak out, Wikipedia is going to be your best friend. Promise.
Of course, I can see how this might be awkward to talk about, especially if the other person is hearing the words human papillomavirus for the first time. And in my case, this conversation is complicated by the fact that I’ve always tested negative for high-risk strains, but I’ve had several abnormal paps so it’s unclear what is going on down there. (Probably a non-cancerous form of HPV!) A lecture on gynecology doesn’t make for the best pillow talk, but my gut instinct is that I’d only want to sleep with someone if I feel comfortable discussing my girly bits with them.
For the long answer, well, you can click over here to check out my previous response to a similar reader Q. I hope that helps!
More burning questions? Ask Lena.
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Related posts on HPV:
Why I Won’t Shut Up About Having HPV
Reader Question: “How does one discuss HPV with future partners? Should I just put my life on hold?”
Reader Email: “I thought no one would ever want me because I have/had a STD.”
Reader Question: “Can your immune system ‘cure’ itself of HPV?”
