Ugh, dating manuals are the bane of my existence. Every so often, someone will email me saying, “I read this and this in a book. Is it true? Should I follow these rules?” And then I have to launch into a whole lecture about how no one has any 100% Success Guaranteed formula for romantic relationships. And that most people who claim that they do are quacks or just as bad at relationships as we are. I talk about The Rules, He’s Just Not That Into You, and other dating guide nonsense in the following article for Sex Really:
When it comes to a divisive topic like first-date etiquette, there are so many divergent viewpoints that a girl needs to get some perspective before she dives headfirst into the self-help section at her local bookstore.
So step one: Let’s take it back to the old school. What were the love gurus of yore telling young women? According to one 1938 dating guide, women are advised to avoid getting drunk, sitting in awkward positions, chewing gum with their mouths open, or talking while dancing. That last one aside, all the other tips actually sound quite reasonable to me. If anything, dating rules have gotten wonkier in the post-war era.
Take, for example, the book-turned-movie He’s Just Not That Into You, in which Greg Behrendt tells women, “We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do.” So in other words, guys are just like dogs and women are just like squeaky toys…
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