January 2012
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Sex Week 2012 At Yale →
Whew, it was great to see my mom in LA, but now it’s time to play catch-up with work. I just flew back to Boston yesterday, and I’m only going to be home for a hot second. This Sunday, I’ll be in Connecticut for a talk at Yale. After overcoming some conflicts with the administration last semester, Sex Week is now officially on and I couldn’t be happier to be a part of it.
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Anonymous asked: did you book your trip through a travel agency that offered some kind of package? i'm looking to vacation in southeast asia but packages seem so expensive!
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Anonymous asked: Name ten of your favorite books? :)
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Language Immersion
When I was out at a nightclub in Shanghai the other night, there was this inebriated Chinese guy who was making my gaydar go off in all kinds of ways. One second, he’s humping a male acquaintance in my group - and really, there is no other way to describe the scene except “humping” - the next, he’s grabbing my hand and leading me off the dance floor to his table. I am more...
Anonymous asked: Is it cowardly to not want to engage with chronic mansplainers on Facebook (like this one guy who manages to always discuss the plight of women or the poor by implying that he knows better than they do what it's like to be them?) And how do you deal with one you can't avoid in real life? There's this one guy above me at work who talks down to me on every single topic, like he's...
Bang Bang
So, is playing with guns now a group activity and social event? I received three invites to the shooting range over the course of the past week. That seems … atypical.
I don’t think I’ve ever even touched a real gun, nor am I able to identify the various different types. They sort of make me queasy anyway. I suppose learning how to handle one is a good way of conquering my...
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Dealbreaker: My Wife Is Gay | GOOD →
This may be one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever encountered about marriage. Though I am pretty opposed to the institution, I’m touched by this piece precisely because this couple illustrates that the bonds of true friendship and partnership don’t have to come in the form of a heterosexual, nuclear family. Despite all the prejudices and misconceptions working against them,...
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I'm so, so tired.
It might be the jetlag talking, but man, I could hide out in my Back Bay apartment for a month right now and not want to emerge despite the fact that I actually kind of hate the Back Bay and usually try to leave as often as possible. Instead of hiding out, I’m sitting at my mother’s house in California*, tackling my inbox, making plans to see various LA friends, scheduling...
Things Are Happening
I’ve slowly started telling people that I’m moving to Berlin.
I have to actually follow through on getting a driver’s license this year. Because I sure as hell am not going to do German driving school (the thought alone terrifies me) and I’m lucky enough to live in Massachusetts, which is one of the few states issuing licenses that can be fully converted to German ones. I...
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“You look like an ostrich.”
– a gal pal on my penchant for frou-frou tutus
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Upcoming Speaking/Travel Dates
Holy crap, traveling for the past month has totally done a number on my skin, immune system, and sleep schedule. Three more days in China and then I’m off to LA for a week - yet another climate and time change. Never thought I’d be looking forward to returning to the frigid New England winter, but I’m longing for some normality (and a wardrobe change) after weeks on the road.
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thepoliticalnotebook asked: FYI... a great accompaniment for yeast infection treatment is upping your yogurt intake while you're treating. (Some people also apply plain yogurt directly, although I've never done...)
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Anonymous asked: How does a girl who is socially-awkward and introverted get better at telling people I'm not interested in a clear "no"? I recently had a co-worker interested me where I didn't feel the same way (in fact, I have a bf), and I was surprised at how difficult it was to be upfront about my non-interested with this seemingly harmless guy. I worry about how I would react in a much...
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I can barely contain the eye-roll.
Dude: You LA girls. You're tough as shit, aren't you?
Me: Yep. And so is my pussy.
Dude: I love it.
Me: Ugh.
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Things Not To Say To Girls
“Honestly, I’m a very nice guy.”
Usually, that’s the first sign you’re not. I got that lovely line last night from a dude who tried, against his best interest, to chat me up. He got nothing but a scowl and some snarky remarks in response. Though apparently, being a stone cold bitch doesn’t do much to dissuade the masochistic.
Also, whoever said I was looking...
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Well, it's been a while.
But last night a very sober Lena somehow wound up at a Nanjing nightclub where I was sandwiched between sweaty bros singing things like “I’ve got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.”
And that was before all the unsolicited groping started.
It’s been a while since college and even longer since I’ve partied with fratty dudes in earnest, but absolutely nothing has...
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Visa Update
I’M GOING TO THE MAINLAND. So after a month-long saga that started in Boston (when I first realized there isn’t a Chinese consulate in town) and followed me to New York (where I was coldly rejected after waiting in the literal freezing cold for an hour), I finally obtained the visa I need to get into China on Thursday. Thank god for Hong Kong efficiency and my rudimentary Cantonese....
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“The state has a right to [ban contraception], I have never questioned that the...”
– Rick Santorum in New Hampshire today
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MookyChick's Feminist Flash Fiction Winners →
As I told Magda, the editor of the site, it was very, very hard for me to rank my top six favorite entries in MookyChick’s Feminist Flash Fiction Contest!. And here’s a little secret: I’m a bit afraid of fiction myself but starting to write it for the very first time. It’s definitely changed my relationship to the written word and the way I think about the literature of...
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Holistic Medicine For Your Lady Parts
thenewandimprovedsam replied to your post: Food Poisoning
did the garlic remedy work?
YES! It was the first time I attempted to cure a yeast infection without those god awful creams and I was so happy that it worked overnight. I used it again a second night just to be sure and I am now blissfully yeast-free. Woo-hoo!
Apparently, yeast infections are fairly common among women traveling in hot...
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Food Poisoning
On my last day in Malaysia, I managed to get food poisoning. Yesterday’s flight to Hong Kong was possibly the most traumatic four hours of my life. Think: a very nauseous Lena curled up in a fetal position in the last row of the aircraft.
At least the Chinese government didn’t quarantine me when I disembarked. (They were doing temperature checks at passport control for bird flu.)
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena! Awesome to know that you're in Southeast Asia! Pity you won't be dropping by where I'm at - I'm a heterosexual Filipino male, reading your work for years now - but I hope you'll consider visiting our little corner of the world soon. When you're not enjoying the people, scenery, and the food, the queer and feminist movements here should prove very interesting...
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“You can do anything you want in Singapore. Just don’t get caught.”
– according to a Singaporean we met
TMI
During my first full day in Kuala Lumpur, I got a pounding migraine, discovered I had a yeast infection, and was bitten no less than seven times (I’m allergic to insect bites so my left calf became one huge hive).
I fully blame the yeast infection on excessive vacation sex from Singapore. I’m now administering the garlic remedy for the first time. The waiter at Bijan (the amazing...
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena, I'm a Malaysian reader and I'm very excited to hear that you'll be in KL in a few days! I've loved reading your blog but I think I'm too shy to come and say hi. Just hoping you have a good time while you're here, and Happy 2012. :)
Anonymous asked: Welcome to Southeast Asia, Lena! Singapore is fantastic, enjoy! Plenty of delicious food, too! Will you by any chance be stopping by in Indonesia? (from an Indonesian reader/lurker).