May 2011
Anonymous asked: Have you ever "made love?" How did you know?
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“The first and only principle of sexual ethics: the accuser is always in the...”
– Theodor Adorno, Minima Moralia
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Anonymous asked: Do you really think that being a "comfort woman" for your fellow undergraduates at Harvard qualified you to be a feminist leader? I mean, how easy was it to give away your pussy to stressed out geeks who couldn't otherwise get laid? That doesn't make you a role model for your gender. Just a dumb slut who couldn't keep it in her pants and thinks it makes you qualified to...
arihanta asked: Don't mean to impugn on the Latin, but the proper Latin would be "ad feminam" or "ad mulierem". =P
thatgirlallison asked: Hey Lena - What are your thoughts on this outcome? I find it pretty vile. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/27/nyregion/two-new-york-city-police-officers-acquitted-of-rape.html
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manabear asked: BAH! I'm married, and most of the time I'm just annoyed with people's view on marriage. I love your blog and while I haven't read that Salon piece yet (am about to), I think what you do is wonderful, you've given me the courage to get Mirena. I applaud you and your blog. It's exactly what women need, you provide information and acceptance, showing women that...
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Help Me Raise $1,220 For Abortion Access →
A couple weeks ago, I attended the Eastern Massachusetts Abortion Fund’s bowl-a-thon for abortion access, to which some of my friends and readers have contributed. I’ve never done a fundraiser before (unless you count high school bake sales!), so I’ve been really heartened by the number of people who have donated to this cause.
As I’ve written so many times before,...
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This Is What Slut-Shaming Looks Like
I’m astounded by all the kind emails, tweets, Tumblr notes, and Facebook messages sent my way. Thanks, guys. Indeed, as many of y’all have noted, the comments to my Salon piece are mighty scary. But I’m surprisingly unfazed by them … even though I think I would have been pretty bothered just a year ago. Maybe this means that I’ve sort of begun to make peace with the...
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Anonymous asked: I read your Salon piece. Here's my recommendation to you. Get an MFA degree in fiction from a low-residency program, so you can continue many of your current activities. And throw yourself into learning to write in a more experimental, wild, open, way, which will not lock you into the kind of impasse with society that you obviously find painful, and that may not be at all productive for you...
psychotropicpolitics asked: i just wanted to say that the comments on the salon piece are ridiculous. as if a) having sex in this day and age was something people do not do with multiple partners and who gives a shit about how many and b) as if getting a husband was the end all-be-all of all women's lives. ANYWAY i like you.
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"I was the Harvard Harlot" | Salon →
As promised, here’s the link to my personal essay for Salon on learning sexual shame from my sex blogging days in college. It only took an hour before I got my first “You will never find a husband comment”! That’s got to be a record, right?
I also got this comment earlier today on the blog, likely in response to the article:
Hello Lena. I am writing this anonymously...
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cestmavieelleestennuyeux asked: Why do you think you have so many haters? I mean you seem like a great writer, great cook, opinionated [but not in a way that's offensive], fashionable, outgoing and extremely intelligent [harvard?]. I don't understand how people could hate someone such as you quite that much [i.e. the haters you receive on tumblr, the haters on autosubmit]
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena Chen. First of all, you're an amazing writer. I have two questions, the first is do you have any estimate as to how many different people you've slept with? The second question is, what gives you the courage to answer questions like these to thousands of people?
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Anonymous asked: When you applied to Harvard and all other colleges, did you submit your score in AP Spanish (the 1 you received)?
Travelin'
Sorry I’ve been MIA on the Internet. Wild week of deadlines, catching up with friends, and household maintenance … all before an international flight that I almost wound up missing! I’m in Hamburg this weekend and Ibiza from Thursday to Saturday. The rest of the time, I’ll be working remotely from Osnabrück, the Roomie’s hometown.
I have some queued-up posts, lots of...
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Anonymous asked: Hey I'm WOC and feminist, I want to follow more kickass WOC as yourself. Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance!
Thanks in advance!
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“You broke your leg on the second day of the trip, which is just so typical. i...”
– Jason, commenting on the Oregon Trail character he created under my name
Anonymous asked: Hello!
I really appreciate your blogs, especially the coverage of the reproductive health issues that so few people are willingly to talk candidly about.
Speaking of reproductive health issues ... I really feel like I should be thinking about seeing a gynecologist already about the state of genitals, but the idea makes me incredibly nervous. I'm 22, not sexually...
I really appreciate your blogs, especially the coverage of the reproductive health issues that so few people are willingly to talk candidly about.
Speaking of reproductive health issues ... I really feel like I should be thinking about seeing a gynecologist already about the state of genitals, but the idea makes me incredibly nervous. I'm 22, not sexually...
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena! So I'm curious about your thoughts on this subject--a girl from my high school has begun a new job as a Playboy Live model, which I'm not sure if you know, is basically a webcam stripper. I'm all for pro-sex, but frankly a little skeeved out by this. I think it refutes feminism and relinquishes power by having anonymous commenters decide whether she takes more clothes off....
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nocturnal-darling asked: I know that on the birth control commercials it says not to smoke, but it seems like that's directed towards people who regularly smoke, as in several cigarettes or a pack daily/weekly. Would the risk really be that great if you are the kind of person who likes a cigar/mini cigar (and DON'T inhale) every once in a while (like once a month or something) or just to celebrate a special...
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foreign-lauren asked: I had been taking the pill for a variety of reason since I was 16. I loved it, it cleared my skin, eliminated painful periods and kept my hormonal mood swings at bay. That was until Yasmin caused me to develop many large, and potentially fatal, blood clots in my lungs. As an active otherwise healthy 20 year old woman presenting to the ER with severe chest pain, I was turned away as the doctors and...
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Anonymous asked: Although no one has asked about the copper IUD (Paragard) I thought I would share my experience with it my current BC choice. In the past I've tried two forms of low dose hormonal BC, the break-in-case-of-emergency-because-it-was-an-emergency Plan B , and condoms (the second of which I still use of course for STD protection). I chose it specifically because I wanted a *non hormonal* form of...
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bebraveandspeak asked: Hi, I saw that you were doing a platform in which people could share birth control experiences, etc. I know I'm a little late, but I didn't see anything about just using condoms. I've tried multiple hormonal birth controls and haven't been able to find one in which the side effects are bearable. As a result, I am currently only using spermicidal condoms. To be honest, I...
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Anonymous asked: My boyfriend wants me to shave, but I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. (He doesn't shave.) Is it really "better" to shave?
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nedispersonne asked: Dear Lena,
I've recently discovered that I'm a closeted feminist. What would you say to the likes of people like me?
I've recently discovered that I'm a closeted feminist. What would you say to the likes of people like me?
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On Transphobia & Self-Criticism in the Gay Rights...
I’ve been so busy this past week that I keep putting off an entry I’ve been meaning to write about the trans exclusionary practices within the gay rights movement. Here’s the gist: if you look into the history of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) or the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), there are examples galore of trans people being thrown under the bus in exchange...
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“We had more in our lives than just men; we had our work, travel, friends, Then...”
– Fear of Flying by Erica Jong
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mindlessmusingss asked: Hey,
I was hoping you could post this to raise awareness about the “Kill the Gays” bill that could be passed in Uganda. We need as many signatures as possible on the petition within the next 72 hours to make sure this death sentence toward the LGBT community in Uganda doesn’t pass.
The link to the petition as well as more information is here:...
I was hoping you could post this to raise awareness about the “Kill the Gays” bill that could be passed in Uganda. We need as many signatures as possible on the petition within the next 72 hours to make sure this death sentence toward the LGBT community in Uganda doesn’t pass.
The link to the petition as well as more information is here:...
Anonymous asked: For anyone who has really severe cramps, I highly recommend my brand of birth control, Aviane. I take it primarily for dysmennorrhea because I'm not yet sexually-active. Before taking it, I used to get cramps the first two days of my period that were so severe that I was basically bed-ridden, avoiding work and school. I almost failed my choir class last year because I had to bail in the...
Anonymous asked: Hi Lena!
I love all the bc talk. I've been on the nuvaring for a year and it's been the right choice for me. No complaints. Lately though I have read quite a few articles (like this one http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/13/health/webmd/main4347457.shtml) that say birth control could effect the natural process of choosing a good mate. Have you read any articles like this? Do...
I love all the bc talk. I've been on the nuvaring for a year and it's been the right choice for me. No complaints. Lately though I have read quite a few articles (like this one http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/13/health/webmd/main4347457.shtml) that say birth control could effect the natural process of choosing a good mate. Have you read any articles like this? Do...
Anonymous asked: Hi Lena!
I love all the bc talk. I've been on the nuvaring for a year and it's been the right choice for me. No complaints. Lately though I have read quite a few articles (like this one http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/13/health/webmd/main4347457.shtml) that say birth control could effect the natural process of choosing a good mate. Have you read any articles like this? Do...
I love all the bc talk. I've been on the nuvaring for a year and it's been the right choice for me. No complaints. Lately though I have read quite a few articles (like this one http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/13/health/webmd/main4347457.shtml) that say birth control could effect the natural process of choosing a good mate. Have you read any articles like this? Do...
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena!
I love all the bc talk. I've been on the nuvaring for a year and it's been the right choice for me. No complaints. Lately though I have read quite a few articles (like this one http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/13/health/webmd/main4347457.shtml) that say birth control could effect the natural process of choosing a good mate. Have you read any articles like this? Do...
I love all the bc talk. I've been on the nuvaring for a year and it's been the right choice for me. No complaints. Lately though I have read quite a few articles (like this one http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/13/health/webmd/main4347457.shtml) that say birth control could effect the natural process of choosing a good mate. Have you read any articles like this? Do...
Anonymous asked: Hi Lena!
I love all the bc talk. I've been on the nuvaring for a year and it's been the right choice for me. No complaints. Lately though I have read quite a few articles (like this one http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/13/health/webmd/main4347457.shtml) that say birth control could effect the natural process of choosing a good mate. Have you read any articles like this? Do...
I love all the bc talk. I've been on the nuvaring for a year and it's been the right choice for me. No complaints. Lately though I have read quite a few articles (like this one http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/13/health/webmd/main4347457.shtml) that say birth control could effect the natural process of choosing a good mate. Have you read any articles like this? Do...
bluelb-bunny asked: I tried Nuva Ring for a month. The first time I had sex with it, it was no problem. It felt normal as could be. But the second time something awful must have gone wrong and I was crying during sex which quickly prompted my boyfriend to stop and help me try and remove it. It was a negative experience for me and I would not recommend it.
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Anonymous asked: I'm starting on birth control for the first time and am worried mainly about how it will affect my mental health. Having to take it once a day doesn't bother me...did you have any good experiences with b.c. pills? If so, which ones?
fallingdeep asked: I've been reading your commentary on various types of birth control, and just wanted to put in a good word for my birth control pill, Loestrin. I've been taking it for a year and a half and it's been wonderful: it improved my cystic acne, I've had no unusual mood swings whatsoever, didn't have any unusual weight gain (by this I mean, I'm in college and my weight...