October 2011
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The Chicktionary & Va Va Voom Couture Romance...
I just discovered Rafflecopter, an application that automates and streamlines the giveaway process. It’s freakin’ amazing, so it’s fitting that the first time it appears on this site, it’ll be responsible for raffling off the biggest single prize I’ve ever given away :) The Chicktonary, in conjunction with Va Va Voom, an online adult sex toy retailer, is giving out a...
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“Fact: Cake is not evil. There is no such thing as a bad food, nor is there such...”
– Lesley Kinzel, writing for xoJane
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Anonymous asked: my vagina has a kind of fishy smell ... what should i do? im only 14 so i refuse to go to my parents or to a doctor... is this a serious medical condition? is there any home remedies i can use? please help. :s
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200 Free Safe Sex Kit From Paris Intimates →
Call this a hump day special …
ParisIntimates.com provides the highest quality and smartest selection of sex toys available for men, women and couples. If the word Lelo doesn’t immediately dilate your pupils and send your mind to the gutter, we can show you what you’re missing.
In collaboration with Ch!ckTalk and my efforts to promote safer sex, Paris Intimates, an online...
Anonymous asked: I've been considering the Paraguard IUD because when I was on birth control, the hormones made me really depressed, and my gyno said they were the lowest hormone dose available. So hormone free sounds great! I saw that you use an IUD. Sorry if this is too personal, but does your bf come inside you? Mine is freaked out about not having to use a condom, and he pulls out anyways, but I was...
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MookyChick's Feminist Flash 2011 Competition →
I’m judging an awesome writing contest over at MookyChick, a UK-based alternative women’s site. (You might remember this interview they did with me last month.) It’s easy to enter — the maximum word length for each entry is 200 words — and there’s a cash prize (as well as a feministy one) involved. Here are the details:
Slut shaming. Contraception. Body...
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Vote for College Candy's Most Influential Women →
Happy Monday! I’m nominated for Most Influential Female Blogger over at College Candy. Check out all the nominees in the different categories and fill out a survey of who you think represents the best of the best — everyone who votes gets entered to win a prize from Rent The Runway :)
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Anonymous asked: Do you still use condoms when having sex, even though you use an IUD as birth control and are in a committed monogamous relationship?
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Debut Giveaway For My New "Ch!ckTalk" Subscribers →
Listen up! If you haven’t subscribed yet to Ch!ckTalk, you need to do that like right now. All you commit to is one email per month (full of updates, awesome events, Hamlet photos, and unfinished writing I’m too embarrassed to post in public). Each month, I’ll also have a different sponsor (or sponsors) offering an exclusive discount to all list members and an awesome prize to...
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thebuttertomybread asked: can you do an update of your exercise/fitness routine? i feel like we are about the same height(i'm 5') and body shape(also asian) and could really use the help/inspiration!
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So it's Love Your Body Day ...
… and though I did contribute a post to NOW’s Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival, I can’t help but wonder whether “love your body” is a realistic or even effective message to be spreading. (I say this as someone who has uttered the phrase “love your body” more than once.) I personally do not love my body. Don’t get me wrong, because I don’t...
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Anonymous asked: Why haven't you had anything to say about the Occupy protests? For someone who self-identifies as "radical" and occasionally even "Marxist," your silence is unbecoming.
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Gilt City Is Giving Out $100 To Chicktionary... →
Hi people — I have an AWESOME giveaway that’ll help you get over hump day. I’ve got a $50 credit on Gilt City for TWO lucky readers. All you’ve got to do to enter the contest is to sign up for a membership (totally free) at Gilt City before 4pm on Sunday, October 23. Gilt will pick the winners randomly from everyone I’ve referred through this link. (It’s a...
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Anonymous asked: I'd like to know what your take on sexist jokes are. I am a girl and the other day a guy friend told a group of friends (including me) a sexist joke. I just couldn't bring myself to find it funny, and felt quite offended. I felt that he should have had the courtesy to not tell it to my face, at the very least. Am I being overly sensitive here? Should I loosen up? :/
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How Universal Is Disordered Eating? →
Wednesday* is Love Your Body Day! This post is part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival.
Even if you haven’t been diagnosed with a condition, you’re not exempt from disordered eating. Here are some warning signs from Self Magazine:
A very strong fear of gaining 5 pounds
Following strict food rules
Dieting for more than three quarters of your life
Use of diet pills or...
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German Word Of The Day
schna·bu·lie·ren (verb): to nibble, munch, or eat with relish
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Bedsider: XOJane Post Reminds Us Why Sex Ed Ain't... →
From Liz at Bedsider (the NEW SexReally):
Whew. A lot has been written over the past couple days about a post by Cat Marnell on XOJane. Marnell wrote a (maybe, debatably, slightly tongue-in-cheek?) rant about her use of Plan B for—well—plan A, and how a shortage of it in NYC was causing her to reevaluate her choices…
I have a lot of not-yet-processed thoughts about this. My kneejerk...
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Weekend Giveaway: FlipMe Cards For TWO Readers →
Sooo … if you’re looking for a clever new pick-up strategy, check these babies out:
FlipMe is breaking the ice made easy. You take charge of your dating life by giving your sassy, flirtatious side the perfect sidekick. FlipMe brings a casual confidence to meeting new people by offering a clever way to say “hi.” Each set of FlipMe Flirt Cards comes with 30 cards, each with a code...
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Susun Weed Cures Reader Sex Ailments
Hey guys! I asked you to send in your sexual health questions to Susun S. Weed, and she’s responded with some helpful tips for at-home remedies that will put the kabosh on UTIs, yeast infections, and period pain.
Susun is known for her pioneering work on herbal remedies and is regarded as this country’s leading expert on herbal medicine. A four-time international bestselling...
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Kinky Talk & Giveaway With Eva Christina!
Eva Christina is the author of The Book of Kink, an entertaining and enlightening look into all things beyond the pale when it comes to sex. Exploring everything from equipment, sex classes, sex parties, and porn to the who, what, where, when, why, and how of kink, Eva delves into fetishes, turn-ons, role-playing, and how the Internet has put a new spin on kinkiness.
I asked you guys to...
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“They should make absolutely NO snarky comments on your sex life, whether you...”
– my advice on how you can tell if you need to switch doctors ASAP For more, check out the full piece, “How To Deal With Judgy Doctors”, on Jezebel. Throughout October, I’m competing to win my own web series on SHAPE.com. I’d really appreciate it if you supported TheChicktionary.com in the...
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Anonymous asked: I'm sure you must get a lot of comments from people about being skinny. Do you have any advice for handling people's comments from "Oh my gosh I wish I could be like you I hate my body" to "Go eat something" ? This is something I've always struggled dealing with.
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“I hooked up with an older guy tonight, just to see what it was like. It lasted...”
– Anonymous post on HarvardFML, a confessional site for undergrads Sooo … is a 45-minute hook-up considered short these days, because I do NOT recall that being the norm, um, ever. Also, my unscientific poll of Gchat buddies garnered responses ranging from “If someone wants to give me...
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There is ALWAYS room for dessert, people.
So it’s been pointed out to me that it’s kind of funny that I posted a photo and recipe for a deep-fried Taiwanese dessert right after being selected to compete in SHAPE Magazine’s Best Blogger Awards. Which — okay, fair — that post does indeed seem ironic when one is supposed to be promoting “healthy living” (the category I’m nominated in).
That...
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Sex! Books! Giveaways! →
To help drum up publicity for The Chicktionary while I compete in the SHAPE Magazine Best Blogger Awards, I’m going to be hosting some guest expert interviews and giveaways over the next couple of weeks.
Tomorrow, Eva Christina, author of The Book of Kink, will be answering reader-submitted questions on all your dirty perversions, and I’ll be giving away a free copy of her book on...
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Anonymous asked: it seems to me that you are slightly hypocritical in that you preach sex positive and non judgemental ideas, yet everything you write seems to be pervaded with derision towards those who make a personal choice to forgoe promiscuity or to wait beyond teenage years to lose their virginity. i'm a seventeen year old girl, and i'm constantly bombarded with the message that i should lose my...
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Anonymous asked: I just wanted to tell all those who are thinking of getting an IUD- it's not just the initial insertion that can be painful.. I had moderate to severe cramping for 3 weeks after insertion! I went to 2 doctors and got an ultrasound just to find out that this was my body's reaction to a foreign object and is normal. There aren't many testimonies online about persisting IUD pain so for...
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Anonymous asked: Hey Lena! This is a follow up question to the posts you have done on HPV. I'm 22 and last year had my annual pap-smear and was told that I have HPV and abnormal cells. You have to wait a year before a follow up smear to see if anything has changed, so I am currently waiting for that. My question is, should I tell someone I am about to have sex with that I have HPV? Is it morally wrong not to?...
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Help Me Win My Own Show On Shape.com! →
Hi folks, I’m currently up for the Best Blogger Awards at SHAPE Magazine — and the grand prize winner gets their own web show sponsored by the magazine! If you want to see a mainstream women’s website host a video series promoting positive body image and sexuality, please take a few seconds to click over and vote for The Chicktionary.
To promote my blog’s nomination,...
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Differing Accounts Of How We Came To Cohabitate
Me: So, I moved in my junior year ...
The Dude: And then Lena never really left.
Me: What do you mean?! You asked me to stay!
The Dude: No, I just didn't tell you to leave.
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Anonymous asked: Let's hear about your exercise routine! Sometimes you tweet/blog about going to the gym... what type of exercises do you do? Cardio? Weights? Any tips for fellow "small Asian women" who hate exercising?
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Anonymous asked: I have walked out on so many "women have it so much better. what do they have to complain about?" conversations. How do I respond to such comments? It is so frustrating having to deal with them.
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“Lena, step away from the coupon.”
– The Roomie, steering me away from my Asian tendency to collect any and all free things
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Anonymous asked: So I know this isn't a sex question but, I thought you might have a good answer or good advice. Anyways, I just wanted to get your opinion on interracial dating; I'm also Chinese and I'm attracted to Asian guys but I recently met a guy that's Hispanic and somewhat "out of my league." However, I feel like one of the major reasons holding me back is our differences in...
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Anonymous asked: Hi, Lena. I need advice about birth control. I'm 21 years old and a virgin, but I've been taking the pill for about a year because of dysmennorrhea. However, I just started dating my best friend, who is my first boyfriend, and while it's a long-distance relationship, we are planning on having sex when we see each other. I really have a problem with remembering to take the pill at...
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Vote For The 2011 WMC Social Media Award →
So kids, I’m a nominee for the 2011 Social Media Award from the Women’s Media Center. If you’ve found my blogging and online communication strategy* to be helpful/entertaining/educational/etc., cast a vote for me here!
Y’all are always asking me for website recommendations, so here’s a tip: check out the other nominees in the category. According to the Women’s...
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Don't Think Of It As Goodbye.
Have you heard the news? SexReally.com is evolving into something bigger (and more awesome). Starting now, we invite you to join us at Bedsider.org.
You’ll still get great information about sex and birth control, plus this useful stuff:
Explore and compare every available method of birth control.
Get free birth control and appointment reminders sent via text or email.
Find the birth control...
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Watch“How To Lose Your Virginity” filmmaker Therese Shechter captured some amazing footage and interviews from SlutWalk NYC, which I attended on Saturday. Check out a gal dressed as Hester Prynne (!!) at 00:23, Jenn Levya of Fat And The Ivy at 00:30, Jennifer Pozner of Women In Media and News at 00:50, Sady Doyle of Tiger Beatdown at 01:28, and feminist writer Nona Willis Aronowitz at...
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Sex Really | Are Stayover Relationships the Wave... →
What do you call it when you really like someone, spend the night together all the time, but don’t necessarily want to shack up? According to a team of University of Missouri researchers, that’s a “stayover relationship,” and it’s becoming a popular dating model for young adults …
So! This was the topic of my latest piece for SexReally.com, and I’m dying to know: has anyone heard of...