January 2011
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wongers asked: Hi Lena! I remember a few posts mentioning your skiing adventures. Did you go skiing in the Alps? Were the instructors helpful at all and beginner-friendly?
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Anonymous asked: http://www.salon.com/life/sex/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2011/01/19/young_women_romance thoughts?
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Get Your "This Is What A Feminist Looks Like" Tees... →
Exciting announcement! The donation page for Feminist Coming Out Day has gone live on IndieGoGo. Whether you can donate $2 or $300, every donation level comes with a perk (get a limited-edition “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like” tee at $20) and every dollar of campaign profits goes to our charitable partner, Bitch Media, the non-profit organization that publishes Bitch Magazine.
Student...
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Anonymous asked: Hey Lena,
I wanted to leave you a comment on your post "Enough, now. Here's the truth" but didn't want to put my e-mail address, so...here it is:
Lena...this is one of the most powerful posts I've ever read. Keep on fighting - as many trolls as there are out there, there are far more people who appreciate you and what you write every single...
I wanted to leave you a comment on your post "Enough, now. Here's the truth" but didn't want to put my e-mail address, so...here it is:
Lena...this is one of the most powerful posts I've ever read. Keep on fighting - as many trolls as there are out there, there are far more people who appreciate you and what you write every single...
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Westward Bound
Always eager to meet other writers, feminists, and general kick-ass people, so, if you’ll be in any of these places, let me know:
January 30th-February 1st: New York, NY
February 1st-9th*: Los Angeles, CA
February 9th*-14th: San Francisco, CA
February 14th-16th*: New York, NY
Can’t believe I have to leave Boston again, after only being back for a week, but my mom has requested my...
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Bad Feminist Confessions: "I just wish I could be...
“On the outside, I’m adamant about how much I love my body and confident I am in myself and would be mortified to admit otherwise to anyone I know but deep inside I just wish I could be thin and have a blemish-free symmetrical face … how do you have such great self-confidence in respect of the way you look when you’re so far from the beauty ideal?”
The above missive is from an...
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Least Romantic Couple Award?
Me: It's cool that we're going to be spending the night of Valentine's Day in an airport, right?
The German: Is there a reason why you think I might care?
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Cyber-Bullying & Slut-Shaming: A Cautionary Tale
A lot of you guys are understandably upset, because someone out there is trying to punish you for following a blog that happens to talk about sex and feminism. Trust me, I hear ya. I’ve been feeling slut-shamed and bullied and attacked for years, and what kept me going through all of that were the kind comments and messages that I received from the same type of people who are now being...
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Anonymous asked: Maybe you should expand that warning on your blog. I mean, I didn't even comment on your blog; I just "liked" it on my tumblr. Now I have a BUNCH of STI-related posts and pics at the top of my google-search! (No disrespect to my sisters with STIs, but it's kinda embarrassing to wonder who might be thinking "does she...?" when its none of their fucking biz...) Plus, I...
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Anonymous asked: So tell us about your interest in the German language. Did you gain an interest in the German language after being introduced to Karl Marx and his writings, along with writings of other writers of Germany?
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Anonymous asked: Hey Lena, I mainly read your blog for the awesome posts on feminism, but I also like your travel posts. I'm going to be in Germany and Austria for a few weeks in April, and while I've read a bit about your experiences in Berlin, Osnabrück, and Lech, I'm wondering if you have any other favorite cities or places in those countries? Thanks!
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But on the not-so-bright side ...
I keep getting emails from readers who are like, “Your online stalkers also stalked me for commenting here!”
Even though it’s emblematic of the shittiest type of misogyny and sexism, I absolutely want to be informed of this behavior. And I am currently informing all readers of this behavior, because guess what? Next time someone says that we live in a gender-blind society where...
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On the bright side, my "army of skanks" is coming...
I’ve already counted three enlistments, following my public service announcement. You guys rock!
(Also, be honest: you so caught the above Mean Girls reference.)
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Slut-Shaming In Action: A Warning To Readers
As I’ve mentioned before, writing a sex blog has made me a moving target for some of the most hateful screeds in the Internet’s existence. My comments section used to be a much more nasty place than it is today, and I was regularly attacked by trolls who called me a whore and wished me death on a near-daily basis. As a result, I’ve developed pretty thick skin over the years, and...
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chasetheskyforever-deactivated2 asked: Hi Lena-- I appreciated your viewpoints on the usage of the word "queer." It's my opinion that for true multicultural understanding to be fostered, society needs to look at the diversity of differences within it and accept them as they are, rather than glossing them all over. Indeed, there's nothing wrong with being different and it seems silly to act as though differences...
“Dr. Paul Biddinger, medical director of the Massachusetts General Hospital...”
– The Boston Globe on today’s temperatures Right now, it’s -16 Fahrenheit (-27 Celsius) with wind chill. That’s just fab. Running to the gym now. Hope my nipples don’t freeze off!
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Anonymous asked: I am curious as to why the QSA at Harvard (and apparantly several of your readers) chooses to use the word "Queer" to identify themselves? As a staunch heterosexual advocate for GLBT rights, I am bothered by the word "queer" to describe this demographic as the word itself seems to denote something abnormal. It is my firm belief that the sexual activities of gays, lesbians and...
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Anonymous asked: Thanks for admitting your number! I have been tempted to ask more than once but then I would say to myself, "It doesn't fucking matter!" I slept around in college a bit, and I would get slut-shamed by my two best friends because they were either celibate or in serious relationships, so my lifestyle was a 180* from theirs. I have a handful of friends who are quite promiscuous now...
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Yes, there was a snowstorm.
A tenant on the third floor just buzzed us to ask if someone could help her open the door from the inside, since it’s frozen. The German has been sent.
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Anonymous asked: How did you get started with your freelancing career and how do you find freelance jobs? Do you have any advice for a freelancer just starting out?
Thanks,
Cheryl
Thanks,
Cheryl
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Anonymous asked: Any chance I can take you out for a drink sometime?
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“When I read your posts on street harassment—well, all I can think of is...”
– Commenter on my post about “getting hollered at in Paris” I’ve often pondered about what motivates the cat-calling and sexual propositions I’ve confronted on the street. I don’t believe that most men who engage in this behavior are making an honest attempt at hitting on...
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Getting Hollered At In Paris
I thought I’d seen the worst of it, having roamed the streets of Los Angeles, New York, and Boston unaccompanied and scantily clad. Wrong.
This weekend in Paris, it took me approximately five hours before I got my boob grabbed! By a limping panhandler asking for change. I was so taken aback (and also slightly concerned about being pick-pocketed right on Rue de Rivioli) that my left arm flew...
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The Daily Femme | Interview with Lena Chen:... →
In the linked interview with The Daily Femme, I talk about “the online politics of feminists today, the challenges young women and girls face in publicizing their romantic and sexual lives online and the importance of including queer voices and perspectives in sex education.” Check it out!
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena,
I've been reading you for a while and there is one thing I have wanted to comment on. As a member of the queer community and a feminist, I am confused and hurt by your use of the word "coming out" for "feminist coming out day". I know that for many individuals, both female, male and trans, self-identifying as a feminist is difficult and...
I've been reading you for a while and there is one thing I have wanted to comment on. As a member of the queer community and a feminist, I am confused and hurt by your use of the word "coming out" for "feminist coming out day". I know that for many individuals, both female, male and trans, self-identifying as a feminist is difficult and...
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The Daily Femme | Interview with Lena Chen:... →
In the linked interview with The Daily Femme, I talk about “the online politics of feminists today, the challenges young women and girls face in publicizing their romantic and sexual lives online and the importance of including queer voices and perspectives in sex education.” Check it out!
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena,
I've been reading you for a while and there is one thing I have wanted to comment on. As a member of the queer community and a feminist, I am confused and hurt by your use of the word "coming out" for "feminist coming out day". I know that for many individuals, both female, male and trans, self-identifying as a feminist is difficult and...
I've been reading you for a while and there is one thing I have wanted to comment on. As a member of the queer community and a feminist, I am confused and hurt by your use of the word "coming out" for "feminist coming out day". I know that for many individuals, both female, male and trans, self-identifying as a feminist is difficult and...
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Freelance Friday: Revisiting Personal Essay...
Before finish the final part of my ruminations on personal essay writing, check out Part 1 and Part 2.
Beyond the distance I maintain from my professional writing, I’ve also become less and less proud of my non-paid endeavors over the years. And it’s not because I’m such a humble person. It’s because I can no longer see the point of writing simply for the sake of...
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Freelance Friday: Revisiting Personal Essay...
Before finish the final part of my ruminations on personal essay writing, check out Part 1 and Part 2.
Beyond the distance I maintain from my professional writing, I’ve also become less and less proud of my non-paid endeavors over the years. And it’s not because I’m such a humble person. It’s because I can no longer see the point of writing simply for the sake of...
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I'm scared of Paris.
It’s true. I’ve only been to Paris once. By accident, really. I was in Greece for spring break in 2008 and got stranded in Charles de Gaulle when I missed my connection flight because no one could give me directions to the correct terminal in English. Even worse? I’d lost all my credit cards and IDs the previous night (my last in Athens). By some miracle of God, I hadn’t...
Jezebel.com | Social Minefield: A Guide To... →
Featuring some advice from yours truly.
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2011 Career Goals & Projects
2010 was an eventful year in terms of career. As in, surprise surprise, I actually had one! After a brief hiatus from freelancing during my senior year of college, I started writing professionally again after I graduated from Harvard (against all odds, I might add) in May. And though I expressed and continue to harbor a myriad of doubts about self-employment and writing (because really, who in...
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2011 Career Goals & Projects
2010 was an eventful year in terms of career. As in, surprise surprise, I actually had one! After a brief hiatus from freelancing during my senior year of college, I started writing professionally again after I graduated from Harvard (against all odds, I might add) in May. And though I expressed and continue to harbor a myriad of doubts about self-employment and writing (because really, who in...
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“Remember that this person means more to you than anyone else—including...”
– #3 of Brenda Novak’s Ten Tips To Keeping Your Valentine According to the press release I just got (with all ten tips — how special!), Novak is a “New York Times bestselling author of over 30 Harlequin romance novels”. Am I therefore supposed to believe this hare-brained...
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Anonymous asked: What do I say to my younger (high-school-age) sister who thinks that she shouldn't ask boys out, or rather, that asking boys out instead of letting them ask her is a "bad habit" that she "needs to stop"? I'm not sure where she's getting this from - whether it's bad dating advice manuals, her super-conservative church, her anti-feminist stepmother, or her...
“Embrace mystery. Do not walk around the bedroom naked in front of each other. ...”
– romance tip from “relationship expert” Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, from a press release that was clearly not meant for a feminist blogger
“Embrace mystery. Do not walk around the bedroom naked in front of each other. ...”
– romance tip from “relationship expert” Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, from a press release that was clearly not meant for a feminist blogger
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Bad Feminist Confession: I’m obsessed with...
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Bad Feminist Confession: I’m obsessed with...
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WSJ: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior →
Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children’s own desires and preferences. That’s why Chinese daughters can’t have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can’t go to sleepaway camp. It’s also why no Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, “I got a part in the school play! I’m Villager Number Six. I’ll...
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WSJ: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior →
Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children’s own desires and preferences. That’s why Chinese daughters can’t have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can’t go to sleepaway camp. It’s also why no Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, “I got a part in the school play! I’m Villager Number Six. I’ll...
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Freelance Friday: Revisiting Personal Essay...
Before starting on the second part of my ruminations on personal essay writing, check out last week’s edition of Freelance Friday for Part 1.
What some might characterize as “writer’s block” isn’t something that particularly distresses me, though I do make the occasional remark about having lost that “spark” I felt when I was regularly updating Sex And The Ivy. Patrick asked me once...
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Freelance Friday: Revisiting Personal Essay...
Before starting on the second part of my ruminations on personal essay writing, check out last week’s edition of Freelance Friday for Part 1.
What some might characterize as “writer’s block” isn’t something that particularly distresses me, though I do make the occasional remark about having lost that “spark” I felt when I was regularly updating Sex And The Ivy. Patrick asked me once...