August 2010
A Sexpert's Advice: Don't Listen To The Advice |... →
Ugh, dating manuals are the bane of my existence. Every so often, someone will email me saying, “I read this and this in a book. Is it true? Should I follow these rules?” And then I have to launch into a whole lecture about how no one has any 100% Success Guaranteed formula for romantic relationships. And that most people who claim that they do are quacks or just as bad at...
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Anonymous asked: As a feminist, what is your view on children?
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A Final Word On The "Harvard Factor"
You do ride a lot on your Harvard education, more than you should. Open up your pretty little eyes: Having a Harvard degree, just by itself, is not going to land you places … When you’re at the elite school level, you don’t get compared against the rest of the pool; you get compared against people from other elite schools. Shitty economy aside, it’s still hard to land...
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Anonymous asked: You and Patrick and Hamlet are too cute. I want the dirty truth. Do you get in fights? Is one of you secretly insecure? Do you get jealous? Possessive? Come on, things can't actually be as perfect as they seem.
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Hate Mail of the Month
Usually, I’m pretty good at sniffing out the riff raff on my blog, but distinguishing between trolling and ignorance is always a close call. I wasn’t quite sure which was the case when this hit my inbox after I wrote an article for Skirt! Magazine’s August issue (“What did Cosmo teach me about feminism?”):
I have to say that I do not understand WHY ...
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A Particularly Odd Trespass of Personal Space
Is peeking under women’s umbrellas the new catcall? Because this happened to me yesterday in Brooklyn as I was crossing the intersection of Metropolitan and Bedford. I was so utterly outraged that someone would look under my umbrella, lick his lips, and say, “Oh my”, that I couldn’t even find the composure to ask the guy what the fuck he thought he was doing. I guess he...
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Anonymous asked: Ok so yesterday I had sex for the first time. It was with a friend of mine and it was, well I'm not sure how I should describe it but it was nice. We talked about it up front and after and it's probably a one time thing since I'm moving to another country for half a year.
The thing is I'm not sure if I want to tell my friends. They're a little more...
The thing is I'm not sure if I want to tell my friends. They're a little more...
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Bad Feminist Confessions: "I can't operate...
bell hooks says that “feminism is for everybody” but could you be doing it wrong? If you wear push-up bras, partake in doggy-style intercourse, or enjoy teen vampire romance novels, then chances are, you’re unwittingly aiding the Patriarchy! Luckily for you, Lena Chen, a self-described “Bad Feminist”, is here to steer you clear of pink consumer products and strippercise classes. How? By acting as...
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“Long before I consciously identified as a feminist, and even while I was calling...”
– Shelby Knox, “Is it ‘Miss’ or ‘Ms’? Does it Still Matter?” Like Shelby, I cringe when a stranger calls me “Miss Chen”. It sounds infantile, even belittling, since the title strikes me as unbearably girlish. And while I have no problem copping to the fact that I am, in fact,...
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What Were You Wearing When You Were Sexually... →
Jezebel had an interesting post up last week that discusses how there’s really no rhyme or reason to why women get sexually harassed. The victim-blaming set might like to point fingers at skanky wardrobes, but when women donning sweatpants, parkas, and stained shirts are still being catcalled, grabbed, or outright assaulted, it kind of demonstrates this behavior isn’t provoked by...
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Should Lying to Get Into Someone’s Pants Be a... →
My latest piece for Sex Really discusses whether the “rape by deception” law in Israel was paternalistic in its application in a case involving an Arab man who lied to his partner about being Jewish.
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Back in Business
Kind of. I finally arrived in the Back Bay last night around 10pm with the Dude and Dog in tow. We’re all collectively thrilled to be back in our own little apartment in our own little neighborhood. I’m not even irritated by all the tourists on the block, the bane of my Boston existence. THAT’S how good of a mood I’m in.
To recap, I was in Europe for two months, which was...
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena! I used to read you during Sex & the Ivy and then only recently discovered your Tumblr - and I must admit, some of your posts rub me the wrong way. I haven't placed down the exact reason, but I noticed earlier today that for someone who wrote that many of the privileged people are Harvard are at least humble enough to not flaunt their 2nd & 3rd homes... you do a lot of...
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Anonymous asked: Do you think being a freelance writer is a sustainable career? I'd like to pursue the career after college. How much can I expect to be paid?
Crowdsourcing My Life (Recs, Please!)
I’ll be returning to Boston on Wednesday, and I am looking forward back in the land of English speakers and ethnic cuisine. I have been quite amused by my summertime travels, but this trip has simply lasted way too long (since June 11th!) and I’ve been kind of going crazy from my lack of productivity abroad. This was supposed to be a work-a-tion, but I’ve actually made very...
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Anonymous asked: As a feminist and a queer supporter, you are (probably) a believer in minority rights. What do you think of affirmative action in college admissions? Many Asian-Americans, as "overrepresented minorities", seem to resent the practice.
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Rachel Kramer Bussel's "Fast Girls: Erotica for...
My friend Rachel Kramer Bussel’s new erotica anthology, Fast Girls, is out. (She’s probably edited about 20 volumes of these things by now — the woman is a workaholic!) I’ve already got my hands on a copy and am quite enjoying myself. Rachel has a knack for picking writers who can give nuanced and smart (but still sexy!) accounts of their escapades and fantasies —...
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Anonymous asked: What's the weirdest "ask Lena" question you've ever received?
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Extra Markdowns on Swirl Sample Sale Shoes!
Okay, so after my Berlin trip and the copious amounts of shoe thrifting I managed over four days, I think it’s time to give my credit card a rest. That said, if it weren’t for the fact that I’m all shopped out, I’d totally be jumping on these weekend deals at Swirl, DailyCandy’s sample sale site:
BC by Seychelles - Escalator Ballet Flats, also in blue and yellow,...
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Anonymous asked: Have you ever had a crazy Internet stalker?
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Anonymous asked: How is your hair cut/styled? I recently grew my hair out, but now it's kinda shapeless and blah. Your hair is very cute!
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena! Like you, I'm a first-generation Asian college student that does not come from a financially privileged family. As much as my parents tell me to do whatever makes me happy, I can tell that they're extremely disappointed I'm not following the rest of the Asians and majoring in Bio-this or Chem-that with grand hopes of medical school. How did your parents feel about you going...
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Anonymous asked: Had you taken any creative writing classes at Harvard? If you have, what were they like? Has anyone - professor or otherwise - really influenced your writing style?
The chick-lit debate: who in Playboy Mansion Hell... →
“When you call a woman a chick you diminish her as a human being and dismiss her as something less than intelligent. It is a word for the likes of Hugh Hefner and other refugees from the pre-feminist, satin sheet and jacuzzi 60s and it is about as relevant as calling the police “the fuzz”. The word does not belong in the 21st century and should be burned with a flamethrower along with...
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Musings of an Inappropriate Woman: My feminist... →
Check out Aussie feminist/journalist/pop sociologist Rachel Hills’ follow-up to my post on my feminist agenda:
Last week, Lena Chen wrote a post entitled ‘What my feminist agenda looks like’, in response to this post on Feministe, and to comments that it was outside feminists’ jurisdiction to care about issues such as poverty, class, race or disability.
It got me thinking about what my...
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Anonymous asked: Can you please go back to writing the way you used to? It isn't that I mind your style now, I actually enjoy it, but i miss the raw emotion that used to be present in your writing. You had a voice, and sure it made you vulnerable but it also made you memorable. You're still super talented, don't get me wrong, but your entries are so damn DRY now. I'm only posting this...
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aquariuschicken asked: Hey, Lena. I just read your "guide to getting into Harvard," and seriously, you sound like me, except more impressive. I'm going to be Asst. Editor-in-Chief of my school's newspaper the upcoming year (I'll be a senior), and I was on Speech and Debate freshman and sophomore year, but not last year because my parents made me quit. I'll be on the team next year, though....
What Did Cosmo Teach Me About Feminism? | Skirt!... →
Check out my piece for The F-Word, Skirt! Magazine’s column on feminism. My musings on women’s mags and feminism appear in this month’s issue, and if the headline isn’t tantalizing enough for you, here’s the pull-out quote they used:
“These were women who could advise you on how to negotiate a raise by day and how to hunt for your G-spot by night.”
You...
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Anonymous asked: Do you just refuse to answer questions about family members? What borders on too personal? You talk about Kennedy's illness, but you're not exactly eager to divulge about other things.