July 2010
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Berlin To-Do List
Sideseeing, an open-air market tomorrow in Neukölln (thanks for the tip, Nina)
Hunting down Vietnamese food (apparently, there’s a huge immigrant population here — finally, my craving for Asian eats in Germany can be satisfied!)
Consignment shopping in Charlottenberg’s Mommsenstraße and thrift shopping in Kreuzberg
Walking about Prenzlauer Berg and Mauerpark with Hamlet
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Heading To Berlin!
Last full day in Lech and going on one final hike (the most challenging one yet!) to top off the week. Can you believe Hamlet has been waddling along at 3,000 feet and doing just fine for himself? He’s like all of a foot tall. (Seriously, he must be in better shape than I am.)
Anyway, I will be heading to Berlin tomorrow with the dog for a solo weekend. The reason for the trip is...
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Anonymous asked: I discovered who you were (ie, your Wikipedia page and then, your blogs) after I read and looked up Chloe Does Yale. Have you ever read that?
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Thoughts On Memoir Writing & Some Women's...
Since I’ve begun working on my sample memoir chapters, I’ve made a concerted effort to start getting through a body of literature that could help inspire the type of writing I hope to do. (Regular readers of this blog may already know that I am obsessed with fiction by old British dudes, namely Patrick McGrath and Ian McEwan. But as much as Gothic contemporary tickles my literary...
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“As a queer, femme, sometimes female trans* person, as a disabled person, as a...”
– kaninchenzero at the aforementioned Feministe thread (via withnoapology:chelle-shock:dorianisms:thecurvature)
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What My Feminist Agenda Looks Like
After wading through the 300+ comments on yesterday’s controversial Feministe post, I did some thinking about what my own feminist agenda consists of. When you identify so strongly with movement, it can be very hurtful to hear someone say “Fuck it!” in response. But I didn’t get offended because I saw where the writer, Maia, was coming from. Mainstream feminism,...
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Anonymous asked: I read your blog almost every day. You've covered almost everything that I've ever had questions about--health, college, sexuality, etc. It's been a great comfort. Please know that you've made a difference in at least one teenage girl's life.
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Why Saying "Fuck Feminism" Can Be Productive →
I’m a feminist and I often think “Fuck Feminism”. I’m glad Maia is gutsy enough to say it out loud (in this latest Feministe post), even though her point seems to be lost on the outraged commenters.
Feminism, like many progressive social movements (LGBT rights included), is not always concerned with the issues affecting poor women, women of color, disabled women, queer women, the list goes on....
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I talk like a valley girl.
As one recent commenter pointed out, I talk like a valley girl. I can’t help it! I tell people that it’s because I grew up in Southern California, but actually, I don’t know anyone in Southern California who actually speaks this way.
Maybe this is because I grew up on too much Buffy, Clueless, and Legally Blonde?
I did speech and debate in high school and I’ve had a lot...
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Anonymous asked: Have you and Patrick talked about long term plans as a couple? I know you don't necessarily believe in marriage but do you see yourself with him for a while?
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I should give credit where it’s due. Though I came to many conclusions about weight loss and body image on my own, Patrick was a great source of support and knowledge when I started exercising and some of that borrowed knowledge is in the previous post. Like me, he doesn’t have any medical expertise, but he picked up a lot of health-related knowledge from rowing crew competitively in...
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Anonymous asked: You eat a lot and your job (freelance writing, I assume) is a rather sedentary one. How do you stay so slender? Has it always been that easy for you?
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“Watching the cashier at the drug store try to explain Robotripping to an 80 year...”
– email from a friend that made me miss those naive days when cough syrup was just cough syrup
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Why You Shouldn't Date A "Type"
“Do you have a type? Because I don’t. I know it’s hard to believe. People like to declare that they’re type-less and then they tack on the criteria of ‘as long as he’s not a Republican.’ Me? I’ve dated a Republican.” —Sex and the Ivy (October 29, 2007)
Following up on last night’s discussion of racial preferences in dating, I thought it’d be...
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Anonymous asked: You've dated white men and you've dated Asian men. Would you ever consider dating Latino or African-American men (assuming that you haven't already)?
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Anonymous asked: What are the merits of having small breasts? Do you think there are social stigmas attached to having small breasts or large breasts? Are these stigmas different or similar in severity?
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LenaChen.com
Did a makeover of my personal website using a Tumblr template. Still need to play around with the colors and possibly add photos of Hamlet. For once, I might refrain from pink-ify-ing everything.
My tech-savvy readers, how does one make rounded corners? The official Lena Chen homepage is in dire need of them.
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Locked Out
My attempts to update Sex and the Ivy have been thwarted these past few months because I’ve forgotten my password. (This is evidence of how much I’ve let that blog deteriorate, agh.) The “Forget Password” feature is also broken because my edition of Wordpress has a bug.
When I become a wealthy memoirist, I will hire a IT person so the Roomie is no longer delegated all...
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Is "Rape By Deceit" Really Rape? →
A Palestinian man was convicted in Israel this week for “rape by deceit” because he lied to his Jewish partner about being Jewish himself. I’m not going to get into a huge debate about definitions of rape, but I will say that being deceived into having consensual sex is very different from being coerced into having non-consensual sex. And it shouldn’t be overlooked that...
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Hiking the Alps
Driving down to Austria tomorrow morning to go hiking with the Roomie and the Pup. Have never hiked, camped, or engaged in any of those outdoor-sy activities typical of childhood. (Having grown up in the Chinese countryside, my parents were less than convinced of the fun that could be had in the forest-y middle-of-nowhere.)
Luckily for me, I can be certain that I will not be setting the pace as...
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maryanne asked: Hey Lena!
I've never shopped BB Dakota before and I'm head over heels for this Isaac lace skirt! It's amazing so thanks for the heads up. Any idea how the sizing goes? I'm usually a 0 or a 2 and I'm debating between both right now. Any thoughts?
I've never shopped BB Dakota before and I'm head over heels for this Isaac lace skirt! It's amazing so thanks for the heads up. Any idea how the sizing goes? I'm usually a 0 or a 2 and I'm debating between both right now. Any thoughts?
BB Dakota Sale on Plndr
Reader interactivity time! Due to a secondhand shopping addiction, online sample sales are the only way I purchase brand new goodies. As such, I’m going to need yeas and nays on the following possible purchases from Plndr:
The Chance Skirt in White $19.99
The Isaac Lace Skirt $27.99
The Zachary Dress $33.99
The Tatum Top $23.99
Don’t these prices rock? This is...
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Anonymous asked: Hi Lena!
I've been a fan of yours ever since Sex and the Ivy and keep up the great work! I was wondering what you opinion was on the whole Jezebel and Olivia Munn debacle, and your opinion on Jezebel in general. I used to really like Jezebel when I first began reading it about two years ago, but lately I feel like instead of promoting feminism, they make their articles...
I've been a fan of yours ever since Sex and the Ivy and keep up the great work! I was wondering what you opinion was on the whole Jezebel and Olivia Munn debacle, and your opinion on Jezebel in general. I used to really like Jezebel when I first began reading it about two years ago, but lately I feel like instead of promoting feminism, they make their articles...
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More On Insecurity
Sometimes, people* tell me that they like “the way” I write. (*By which I mean that I receive comments from Internet people who could very well be the Roomie validating my existence.) I know these remarks are meant as compliments but I rarely receive them as such and instead, I think, “You mean that my crippling self-doubt is on full display and it appears almost poetic at the top of your...
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Anonymous asked: Do you believe that physical cheating or emotional cheating is worse?
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Bitch Magazine Subscription Campaign // Please...
A message from executive director Julie Falk:
For those of you who say you love to buy Bitch on the newsstand, here’s a little pop quiz for you: How many cents of every dollar you spend on an issue of Bitch at the bookstore or newsstand goes toward paying expenses like our staff, writers, and rent? Is it: A) 90 cents B) 75 cents C) 15 cents D) less than 1 cent If you guessed...
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London!
Leaving in seven hours and will be in London until Monday. Day trip to Cambridge tomorrow … then some filming for the next episode of Sex Really. The theme? “Sex please — we’re British!”
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On Insecurity
Can we be clear about something? I am frighteningly insecure. Much less so now post-sex-blog and subsequent fallout/thickening of the skin, but I still have a fragile ego and a painful desire to be liked. And thanks to Google, if you search for “painful desire to be liked”, I am actually the only result. Great. Posterity will appreciate that.
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Anonymous asked: As an Asian myself, I imagine you had pretty strict Asian parents, especially in terms of dating and relationships. Can you describe how (or if) you ever "broke free" from crazy Asian parental grasps?
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Asking Me Questions ... Now On Video!
I am mildly embarrassed to admit that I have a backlog of 80 questions in my Tumblr “Ask” queue. This is starting to become as much a source of anxiety as my inbox. For the record, I was/am planning to start answering these questions on video, because written responses are never as pithy as I think they’ll be. Plus, I’m sure my incorporation of hand movements will lend...
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WatchIs it ever okay to shame someone for their sexual behavior?
In response to Slate’s claims that the Rethinking Virginity Conference was “shaming” and intolerant of “unusual or hedonistic behavior”, panelist Therese Shechter (and director of the upcoming How To Lose Your Virginity documentary) just released the following footage from the conference. In the above video,...
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Anonymous asked: Studying abroad soon in Latin America and Europe for a semester -- which equals a lot of eye candy! Should I dump the boyfriend? Six months is quite a long time. Do know anyone that has been through this situation through your years at Harvard?
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In other news
After yesterday’s defeat in the World Cup semi-finals, I am rather disappointed that I’ve lost my chance to sing, “Deutschland, Deutschland über alles, über alles in der Welt.”
There’s pretty much never an appropriate time to break out this song. Damn it.
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"My boyfriend was in the Cold War": A July 4th...
Only after spending time in a place where any and all displays of nationalism are tsked-tsked (unless it is football-related of course) have I really begun to notice that American nationalism is unusually strong and sort of scarily so. I’ve long dismissed the notion that there’s any logic to patriotism and have long acknowledged that the American brand of cultural superiority is a...
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Musings From A Reformed Attention Whore
I graduated a little over a month ago and since then, I’ve managed to turn in a few writing assignments and two episodes of my Sex Really web series while traveling sans wifi. Not too shabby, but I haven’t had much time to think or much time to do substantive first-person writing, the sort of stuff that could potentially help me craft a memoir. In other words, I am well on my way to...
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I'm Baaaaack
It has been brought to my attention that my writing/blogging no longer possesses any of that painfully self-aware, unflinching honesty for which Sex and the Ivy was known. In other words, I’m not really much of an oversharer anymore, in part because I’m well-acquainted with all the pitfalls.
Anyway. Here is my on-the-record proclamation that I will attempt to bring back the frankness,...
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Anonymous asked: that was a very interesting post on admissions. Even though I admire your straight forwardness and honesty, I still cannot help but wonder - did you have a safety school outside of the Ivies?