October 2008
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“We VES and music and English concentrators knew we were going to struggle once...”
– Alexandra Petri, “Follow Your Dreams!”, The Harvard Crimson
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Squirt, squirt!
Guess there’s a first time for everything.
September 2008
Dear Lena,
You cannot afford a trip to Vegas to belatedly celebrate your 21st with your friends.
Love, Your bank account
You're welcome?
Me: Come home. I love you!
Patrick: What did you say? It's really loud here.
Me: COME HOME. I LOVE YOU.
Patrick: Oh, yes. Thank you. I'll be home soon.
Urtak is already better than Gallup →
“The decisions that will be made this weekend matter not just to the prospects of...”
– Luigi Zingales, “Why Paulson Is Wrong”
Well done, Hamlet.
I take Hamlet to the Boston Common every day to play off-leash with the other dogs that congregate from 5-7pm. Today was an exciting day. Not only did he provoke his usual altercation (he’s a sniffer), but he also decided to pee on someone else’s dog.
Even using dog logic, that doesn’t make sense, but I guess Hamlet isn’t the brightest creature.
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The 2008 Harvard Disorientation Guide →
A progressive look at life on campus. It’s what official publications and orientation programs won’t tell you about the university’s history and student life. A must-read for any freshman — or Harvard student for that matter.
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Things That Make Me Happy About Today
waking up to non-rainy weather for the first time in days
a clean pooch (Hamlet got a bath yesterday and his fur is so shiny, soft, and NON-SMELLY now!)
the prospect of cupcake consumption
Patrick’s naked bod which made for lovely morning eye candy
the 21st birthday of one of my dearest friends
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“A woman-of-color who writes poetry or paints or dances or makes movies knows...”
– Gloria Anzaldúa (via aliciadk) (via alohanico) (via britticisms)
“Enticed by seemingly bottomless petro-dollars, American universities are...”
– The Phoenix > News Features > Are universities selling out to oil nations?
Talk about perspective.
A follow-up on this post: I just realized that even if I become a writer and even if I freelance (meaning pay for my own health insurance), I will likely make more in my first year out of college than my mother will make that year at a job she’s been working for over two decades.
So all that stuff I said about privilege and entitlement? Well, lots of people, my mother included, live off a...
“confession: sometimes i like to dress up like you and blog about boys.”
– possibly the best instant message I have ever received
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Facebook Relationships
resa:
I think you should be allowed to change it to your liking. What if you don’t just want to be “Single”? What if you’re “Painfully Single”? There’s a huge difference between that and say, “Promiscuously Single.” Some people might be “Permanently Brokenhearted.” “On the Rebound.” “Too Much of a Playa Hata.” Or you know, “Commitment-Phobic” (can’t possibly think who that one might apply to).
...
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Jason: I can never date a short guy.
Me: WHAT? Types can be fluid! I've been with short guys, tall guys, white guys, black guys, Indian guys, Asian guys. I've tasted the rainbow and seriously, a dick is a dick.
Tiff: You've literally tasted the rainbow.
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Jason: If we were Sex and the City, Tiffanie would be Charlotte, Tara would be Miranda, you'd be Samantha, and I'd be Carrie.
Me: Carrie's a dumb bitch.
Jason: I'M a dumb bitch.
“I don’t talk about your sexual dysfunction to anyone but my readers.”
– Me, to my sexually dysfunctional friend.
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Sarah Palin's Economic Revitalization Plan
Jason: If China all of sudden called in American debts, we would have to come up with trillions of dollars out of nowhere.
Me: That's a lot of rape kits sold.
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We're lucky to have gotten out while we could.
The country’s conservative moralists shake their finger at low-income home buyers who dared to make a grab for a humble piece of the American dream. When the dream turns nightmarish, the foreclosed-upon are held personally accountable for their bad debt. But there’s no personal accountability for those who actually understood the fine print behind those shaky loans, because they...
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“In the midst of continuing our push for legal marriage and the ability to join...”
– The Harvard Crimson :: Opinion :: Unfinished Business If you’re interested in transgender issues at Harvard, attend the first Trans Task Force (TTF) meeting of the year. It takes place tomorrow (September 24th) at 6pm in the Women’s Center. PIzza and drinks are provided. The Transgender...
Jaded
And there was a moment there, right after I saw it, when I did think the worst. The worst wasn’t “there’s someone else.” It was “he’s someone else.”
My biggest relationship fear is not unfaithfulness. I have a strange empathy for people who cheat, probably because I’ve been the other woman way too many times and can tell the difference between...
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Gay Friend #1: There was that one guy who I liked and you hooked up with.
Gay Friend #2: Who?
Gay Friend #1: David.
Gay Friend #2: You didn't talk to him once in three years!
Gay Friend #1: I was going to ... eventually.
Gay Friend #2: And his name was John.
BRR
I do not have warm workout clothes and I am terrified to even go to the grocery store right now because it looks so windy. I’m beginning to miss the gym privileges that come with being a student.
I still haven't answered emails from August.
I KNOW. Also, it’s been three weeks. I can no longer use “But I was out of the country!” as an excuse for … well, anything.
Cooper: I have no choice. I can go home and listen to my roommates talk about football or I can sit here and listen to you guys talk about dicks.
Tiffanie: Which would you rather talk about?
Cooper: Dicks.
“Also, he’s 25, so he’s probably used to having, um, sex.”
– virginal friend of mine
Creationism: Your questions answered by Roger... →
Q. Was there a Noah, and did he have an Ark?
A. Certainly. There are many unverified reports of a massive wooden vessel on Mount Ararat. The Arc contained eight people, from whom we are all descended. It also contained two of each kind of animal. Since living species were obviously not created through an evolutionary process, every surviving land-based mammal species (about 5,400) had both...
Too Intimate
[ ] is too intimate to post about online.
Fill in the blank.
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New Lesson
Running with a dog — even a slow one that wobbles — is WAY harder than running without. Hamlet’s attention span and patience for running in a straight path are zilch. Talk about adding some strength training to my cardio.
The Lives of Short People
Before Patrick left for Germany yesterday afternoon, he moved some household supplies (like ever important toilet paper) from the tallest shelf to the lowest shelf. Who knows what I could need in the four days my human ladder is gone?
Actual Email Received This Morning
From: [redacted] To: elle at sexandtheivy.com Date: Sat, Sep 20, 2008 at 2:58 AM Subject: Patrick
is hot.
“I am an idiot. I got drunk last night and ended up going to Cape Cod.”
– friend who will remain anonymous Only at Harvard do you end up having wild times at the Cape come evening’s end.
Piggy Bank
Two things I’m saving up for: a pair of Kate Spade sunglasses (long overdued) and a November trip with my friends to Vegas
Early Onset of Post-Grad Separation Anxiety
Tara: Don't worry. When I get married, it'll be to a wealthy man who will buy a village for me and all my friends to live in.
Me: We're going to live in a village?
Rachel: Where is this village going to be?
Me: In upstate New York?
Tara: No, when I say "a village", I mean the West Village.
Master (De)bators →
(via youngmanhattanite)
High school debate pretty much defined my adolescence. Totally screening Resolved with my friends back home.
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Just Kidding
Doggie emergency. Not in New York. Not going to Ignite. Not feasting on clothing racks at Beacon’s Closet. Trip postponed until Wednesday or Thursday.
Cuz if it was YouTube, that doesn't count.
Jason: Today, I saw the saddest thing. A dad helping his handicapped son out of the van dropped him, and he cried, "Daddy, daddy, why did you drop me!!"
Evan: Wait, did you see this in person or was it online?
Tiffanie: IS THIS WHAT OUR CULTURE HAS BECOME?
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Halloween Plans
Megan: We can dress up as each other!
Me: Uh, how are we going to do that?
Megan: Tiffanie can be Lena, the Asian girl who's slutty.
Me: And I can be Tiffanie, the Asian girl who borrows clothes from the slut's wardrobe?
I
Me: This was the most fun I've had since freshman year, and I was an alcoholic as a freshman!
Adam: Yes, I remember that clearly.
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