June 2008
May 2008
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Aww ... isn't he cute and hypermasculine?
Guy: Germans don't cry.
Me: I know. I heard that there's no word for "tears" in German.
Guy: Nope, the only fluid that exits our bodies besides sweat, urine, and semen is blood. From battle.
“I want you to be ‘punk’, Lena.”
– The Guy, on what he wishes my style were. BACK OFF, I like my dresses.
DIM SUM.
Off to Hei La Moon for lunch! I made Patrick promise to get dim sum with me before I depart for Germany, where I’m guessing it’s not as common as it is in … er, Boston. (I grew up in Los Angeles where dim sum on Sundays was a tradition growing up; nothing on the East compares.) I haven’t had it in ages and rarely venture to Chinatown during the school year but I’m...
We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties
So Bluehost has shut down SexandtheIvy.com because of “site performance problems.” Apparently my script isn’t running efficiently and it’s causing a lot of strain on the servers. Solutions? Well, to get it back up, I have to “optimize the performance of my theme” and probably upgrade to the newest version of Wordpress (I’m running something atrociously...
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Sex writers on "Sex and the City" | Salon →
Susannah Breslin (aka the Reverse Cowgirl) called me “hardcore.” My life is complete.
SO NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER.
Me: You know what I want to do?
Patrick: No.
Me: Yeah, you do.
Patrick: Have sex?
Me: Yeah.
Patrick: Maybe after dinner.
Me: But then I'm going to feel bloated and unattractive.
Patrick: Well, that depends on how much you eat.
Me: ... that is NOT the right response.
Dear Germans: An Open Letter
duckie: Please stop giving me shocked looks when I refer to some aspect of German history. A few weeks ago someone asked me if they taught us anything about Germany in American high schools. … You started TWO WORLD WARS. But no. They didn’t mention you.
Where to Take a Girl on a First Date...Rape →
thewordunheard: This makes my skin crawl, and makes me want to fucking puke. Basically, it’s an article full of circle-jerking assholes saying “Here are thoughtful and thorough responses on how I’d commit egregious, horrendous, selfish violations of other people’s rights. Not that I actually would - or have, heh heh!” To anyone who doesn’t think we’re living in a patriarchy: WAKE THE FUCK UP....
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Olivia: OH MY GOD IS THAT A LADYBUG? GET RID OF IT!!!!
Cooper: You're scared of ladybugs?
Olivia: Ladybugs are evil.
Rachel: How can something polka-dotted be evil?
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Tiff: So the last time I went home, my mom told me, "It's okay if you never get married. That way you won't have to become manipulative to find a husband."
Tara: You have to become manipulative to get a husband?
Rachel: Precisely. You set your sights on a man and scheme until he loves you.
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Quit gawking. It's just sex.
I talked to Susannah Breslin today about what it’s like in college nowadays and what I think about what others think and how I handle all the shit that’s thrown at my blog and views on sexuality. Mid-interview, I verbalized for the first time something that I didn’t realize until recently. I don’t care anymore what people think.
This hasn’t always been the case. I...
“We have no reason to believe that there are dates inscribed in heaven or hell....”
– Ian McEwan
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“the loneliness of the long-distance lover. we love each other. we both know...”
– Kennedy, on why she sometimes resents my blog
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“I’m not budging on this. You don’t seem to be either. So let’s...”
– Kennedy, on neutrality
Heidelberg
Ten days to Germany. I cannot wait to see this girl.
“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than...”
– George Bernard Shaw
Love is only real if it’s unconditional, and most romantic love comes with conditions.
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duckie:
When a relationship doesn’t work out, people always tell you that you’ll recover, you’ll get over it, you’ll move on. But I wonder if that’s true for me. Because, you see, it’s not him that I’ve lost. It’s the belief that someone will be willing and able to deal with my depression forever. That feeling of safety with another person. Will I let myself have that again? Because a husband can...
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that...”
– Albert Camus
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“Look, I have no “mission” in writing about sex, but I sure hope that by the time...”
– Lena Chen (via britticisms)
Full disclosure: I consider Lena a good friend.
I was initially shocked by the photo, which features Lena with cum-stained lips post-blowjob.
On further introspection, I’m not really offended by the photo. It’s hot, in its own way.
But I’m not sure that Lena’s defense...
"This Recording" Defends My Cumshot Photo, Gets... →
Thanks for getting the right message, guys. But a few things I’d like to clarify: I don’t actually live with the Guy. That “sweet dog” is his, not mine. The “unfettered declaration of the meaning of love” was about my best friend Kennedy, not the Guy.
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I didn’t ever think it was possibly to love someone this much. But I do. I feel it now.
I think I’m starting to finally get it. The difference, that is, between infatuation and friendship and love and everything. It’s about loss. You’re never really sure about love until you encounter the possibility of loss.
You mean so much to me. You have no idea. I can’t really...
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Sorry if that wasn't safe for Lamont.
So apparently tons of people think this entry was in very poor taste. And by “tons of people” I mean readers who have commented, random people discussing it in Lamont, and friends who have texted/called/IMed. Honestly? I’m kind of surprised.
Is this really such a big fucking deal? Compared to some of the other things I’ve written lately, a photo of me with semen on my lips...
Bishop Allen’s “The Monitor”....
This girl was "soooo stressed" last night.
Me: Are you studying in your room right now?
Girl: Actually, I'm on Newbury Street.
Me: What? Why?
Girl: I have an appointment for laser hair removal.
Me: On the day before your last final?
Girl: It's a really quick process. Besides, I'm studying in the waiting room. Oooh and Kate Spade is having a sale across the street!
Me: ...
“There have been plenty of guys who I fucked on the first date. There are some...”
– “To All The Men I Wouldn’t Fuck” on Sex and the Ivy
On the living room floor.
He came back to the apartment after five hours’ absence, pulled me to his lap, lifted up my dress, and spread my legs. While he probed and licked and watched and listened, I writhed and squirmed and moaned and squeaked. At first, I pulled away. I couldn’t handle the sensations. Then I couldn’t get enough. Afterward, juices ran down his wrist and his watch. If he hadn’t help...
>>UWIRE 100: The best and brightest student... →
Jenna is a goddess. (via jennabee)
“I want to be able to write about what’s happening right now, but I want just as...”
– Emily Gould
“You would feel so much better if you only went online two or three times a day....”
– the Guy, over five weeks ago. In part due to his influence, I’ve been learning to take little things a lot less seriously and to care much more about big things.
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New York This Weekend
Going from Friday to Sunday with the Guy to see his sis, my friend Jess, and whoever else is in town. Email me to hang (especially if you’re in the Williamburg area).
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Me: We should have a date night next week. We never go out anymore.
Guy: What are you talking about? We go out all time.
Me: Okay, but like, we go down the street. I want to plan something and put it on my calendar.
Guy: We can go somewhere nice tonight.
Me: That's not the point. I want to decide on a day to go out and then get dressed up.
Guy: Can't we just decide on the day of to go somewhere?
Me: No, but I want to get dressed up.
Guy: Okay, we can get dressed up.
Me: I have to go home to do that.
Guy: You don't have any nice clothes here?
Me: You don't get it. I don't want to get ready in your bathroom while you get ready in the bedroom. I want to get ready at my place and you can get ready at your place and then we can meet up or you can come pick me up.
Guy: Um ... isn't that a little contrived?
Me: That was our first date!
Guy: Exactly. And now you live here. So if you want to do that, you're going to have to go on a date with someone new.
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Focus on the question, Mom.
Me: So what do you think of the photos I sent you of the Guy?
Mom: He looks very stern. And not very nice. But his friend has really attractive bone structure.
In that case, I guess that's the only option.
Me: I don't have a post-graduation plan. I'm probably moving to New York and either waiting tables or giving blowjobs to support my writing.
Tiff (in total disbelief): You would never wait tables.
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The Guy and I are effectively cohabitating.
Me: This is all pretty strange. I mean, I wake up in the morning and there he is!
Tiff: Uh, it's his apartment.
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“The mildest criticism of religion is also the most radical and the most...”
– Christopher Hitchens, God Is Not Great
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