May 2008
It's 5am in Germany.
Him (typing on his Blackberry): I'n iff to bed bi.
Me: oh you poor man. get some sleep.
Him: Willdo. Talk to you tomorrow. Byw.
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Germany and I have a special relationship.
Me: Sorry, but MY country doesn't like foreigners.
Guy: Well, I wonder what my country thinks of you.
Me: Your country loves me, as evidenced by all the attention I got when I visited.
Kennedy: Lena, his country doesn't know what to do with you.
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April 2008
1ɹıbʍoɔ ǝsɹǝʌǝɹ
Jason: how is your text upside down? Me: oh i asked it nicely and then it flipped itself around. No, just kidding. Want to flip your words upside down? Try it out at Fliptext.org. pǝssǝsqo ɯ,ı
Paper Writing
Friend: "Prurient" means prevalent, right?
Me: Um ... not if it's the prurient I'm thinking of.
Friend: What does your prurient mean?
Me: Sexually immoral.
Friend: Oh. Nevermind. That would not go over so well in this Marco Polo paper.
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Maturity.
When I came back to the library from dinner, I found my best friend Jason asleep at his chair. So I licked him.
It seemed like the logical thing to do.
(And then when he kissed me goodbye as he left for his dorm, he totally paid me back with a lick of his own. Fucker.)
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“What? Yes, I am wearing a Yale track jacket.”
– Me, to my pal Kavita, after she stared at my outfit for a good few seconds. She is probably as shocked by the school affiliation as she is by its casualness. I’m wearing pants today. The apocalypse is here.
Pink Martini- Sympathique Such a charming tune. I...
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Me: You are NOT allowed to tell anyone I just said that.
Guy: I won't blog it.
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Me: How do you know you can trust someone?
Jason: A gut feeling.
Me: Jason, my gut feelings have classically been wrong.
Jason: But mine haven't.
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“We’re going to talk about the ending today so for those of you who...”
– James Wood, the literary critic who teaches Postwar American and British Fiction, during lecture on Ian McEwan’s Atonement
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Me: You blackmailed them into fixing your laptop for free? You have no shame!
Friend: I have shame. I just don't have $1000.
Me: You should friend [redacted] on Facebook.
Jason: For the awk factor?
Me: Yep.
Jason: I do not live for your entertainment.
Me: Oh my god, he's so geeky and adorable. You HAVE to fuck him.
Megan: No! Gross.
Me: Fine, I'll fuck him.
Megan: Good.
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“Just because someone else is dressing like they’re about to go hunting in the...”
– Rebecca Harrington in her last fashion column in The Harvard Crimson. She’s been writing this column for three years (since I was a freshman here) and it’s probably my favorite read in the paper.
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Me: I'm scared that if I move to New York after graduation, I will completely regress into a shallow, superficial person who does terrible writing.
Tiff: As opposed to ... now?
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Me: [redacted]=cute
Jason: Yellow fever.
Me: That's so unfortunate. If you hadn't told me, I could've pled ignorance.
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“I seem to inspire Nazi comparisons.”
– the Guy
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“So, you have a date with Hitler’s wet dream?”
– Jason, who coined his own term of endearment for the Aryan-looking guy I’m seeing.
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Self-Congratulatory
Me: I like you.
Guy: Me too ... and I like you as well.
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Me: american cinema pisses me off. i don't understand how we can produce so much SHIT.
Him: some answers: http://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/adorno/1944/culture-industry.htm
Me: you're so handy!
Him: aren't i?
Text messaging at ROFLCon
Me (quoting Anonymous): There are no women on the Internet.
Melissa: We have our own.
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“The idea of campus celebrity has always been around, and this makes it slightly...”
– Chris Beam, IvyGate Founder, as quoted in The Phoenix’s article about college gossip blogs. I emailed the writer of this article a thank you after I read the piece, because she used a good number of quotes from me and got every single one of them correct, a feat even The New York Times...
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Writing About Not Being Able To Write
I started a blog entry for Sex and the Ivy two weeks ago and I’m still working on it. It’s a blog entry about writer’s block. Some grand irony there, eh?
In the interim, the title changed from “I don’t want to write about you” to “I don’t write anymore,” as it became more and more apparent that it wasn’t just the Guy I couldn’t...
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And Shakespeare was a pop star.
Passerby: Your dog's so cute! What's his name?
Me: Hamlet.
Passerby: Like the song?
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Jason: I'm going to cut you.
Me: With what? Your fairy wand?
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“Careful, don’t mess up my hair.”
– the Guy, as I give him a massage. If he weren’t European, I’d think he were gay.
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Hate Mail
Just got a charming missive regarding this post:
Hey dear, can’t you get a date with a asian male, why can’t you date your own since your condescending on white folks? Boston doesn’t like your sarcastic remarks about our legendary Marathon. Take you plump ass back to Kaleefornay. Better yet, stay in germany. :)
Um, “your” obviously not a fan of proofreading...
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Lunch Conversation
Melissa, Nick, the Guy, and I had a leisurely two hour lunch at Upstairs on the Square. Topics included:
Sex work and unionization
Circumcision
Intersexuality
The commercialization of Harvard Square over the past decade
Old people and the Internet (related: our parents and the Internet)
Reality television shows and why no one should star in one
“Sex and the City” and the Carrie...
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Occasionally, often in the throes of infatuation, I’ll forget to hate men. Then some douchebag from the past (like the one who hooked up with me sporadically for a year while he had a girlfriend I did not know about) will do something idiotic like friend me on Facebook. Well, then. GUYS DO SUCK. Thanks for the reminder! (Disclaimer: I am, obviously, jesting about the generalized condemnation...
“If you see each other all the time and it’s still fun, you’re...”
– Jason, my best friend (who’s been in a relationship of over a year and a half) on the difference between infatuation and everything else.
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Aw, what a nice boy.
I developed a migraine around 7pm today, leading to approximately five hours of pain, confusion, and suicidal thoughts. Chris, my squatter/the boyfriend of my high school pal Christine, poked around at my pressure points, got me a cold compress, and then ran out to buy aspirin for my whiny ass. It was really sweet. Hijacking your best friend’s boyfriend in times of need = next best thing to...
Saturday: ASPIRE's 2008 Asian American Women in... →
I’m a panel speaker at this conference for Asian American women. The event takes place on Saturday at Emerson Hall on the Harvard campus. I’m going to be discussing Family, Cultural, and Community Influences. Here’s how this is probably going to go: Moderator: Tell us about one experience in which your cultural or family values were challenged. Me: Um, my entire life?
Ibanker seeking romance →
“As I’m posting this with my work email address, I’m hoping to get lucky enough that some back-office rat finds the inappropriate content during a routine inbox sweep, so that I can finally be liberated from this relentless world of superficial elitism…” More pretentious hilarity here.
“He’s a Marxist.”
– Christine’s professor, on Marx. (via christineyweenie)