March 2008
I'm in the #6 Most Emailed NYT Article →
… and despite the one-dimensional characterization of me as some Ivy League dragon lady, I’ve been getting some really great emails from people who stopped by my blog. I just got back into the country a few hours ago and will begin tackling the ambitious task of responding to every note tomorrow.
“When a relationship doesn’t work out, people always tell you that you’ll...”
– an excerpt from a blog entry written by Kennedy, who I consider more sister than friend.
Things I Learned During Spring Break →
I just got back to the States two hours ago. This is what I learned:
If you suffer from irrational fear of flying, it is probably not a good idea to go back on birth control, skip your period, and…
Customs Agent: So, why were you in all these countries?
Me: Do you really want to know?
Customs Agent: Um, it's my job, miss.
Me: Well, you see what happened was ... I went to Greece for spring break but then my best friend had a breakdown and was committed to a mental ward so I had to see her in Germany and then I missed my connecting flight in Paris and lost all my credit cards so I couldn't pay for my ticket home until I got in touch with the guy I'm sleeping with in the States and he convinced Air France to let me on a plane today. It's been an intense ten days.
Customs Agent: Good luck with that.
2 tags
Cannot wait to get out of France already.
Me: so the game plan is go to post office, get on train, go to airport, check in, sleep some more at my gate, get on flight, arrive in boston, go home, sleep some more, eat dinner,wait for you to come back, go to your place, sleep.
Him: ... go to my place, get tied up, get pleasured and fucked for hours, sleep.
Me: mmm that too maybe
1 tag
I’m staying with a friend in Paris for the night. We just came back from dinner. Life is not quite so dire.
1 tag
I am stranded in Paris.
Apparently, thinking that you might be permanently stuck on the wrong side of the Atlantic is a lot like going through the stages of grief.
1. Denial
“I’m not going to miss my connecting flight even though my plane got in thirty minutes late!”
“They will totally make an exception.”
When told that I have missed check-in by all of four minutes, stupidly believe...
“Make sure not to take any offers from strange business men to sleep in their...”
– the Guy, giving me advice on what NOT to do while stuck in Paris for the next 18 hours
A Look Back and A Look Forward →
Chen knew, as she told me later, that “the culture reacts differently when women make the same decisions men do.” Her own decisions were public knowledge, because she revealed them on her blog….
1 tag
The Safe Word is “Elephant” →
Look, guys. Quit equating aggressive sex with rape. I am used to having my bedroom conduct judged (even though no one is in any position to judge me), but I do not appreciate the implication that…
Flashback to Finals: Studying for Science B-47...
Me [while reading notes]: Oh my god, I'm not infatuated. It's just the dopamine!
Tiffanie: So next time you like a guy, we'll just give you dopamine inhibitors.
Megan: Hey, that should be your next book. "You're Not That Into Him, It's Just The Dopamine Talking."
“This fear of commitment is more like a yawning expanse of existential dread. A...”
– debauchette (via melissa) I used to have a tendency to go all in, but I’ve long since learned the house always wins. So now, I don’t gamble.
“The problem is that we’ve been taught that happiness is a state that is...”
– my brilliant and beautiful best friend, Kennedy
Do you have the answers?
I don’t get it. How can a person just wake up one day and stop loving someone? Or when people say that they don’t love someone anymore, do they mean that love has been waning for a long while and this merely happens to be the moment when they’ve finally mustered up the courage to leave? Is there a right way to leave someone? Is there a right time? Does it even matter if the end...
I could watch "Closer" over and over again.
Dan: And you left him, just like that?
Alice: It's the only way to leave. "I don't love you anymore. Goodbye."
Dan: Supposing you do still love them?
Alice: You don't leave.
Dan: You've never left someone you still love?
Alice: Nope.
“I was fine before him. Stupid to get so comfortable with someone and feel safe...”
– Kennedy I feel like people go to their significant other for everything. It is the single thing that turns me off from relationships the most — this weird co-dependency that develops and leaves couples cut off from everything and everyone but each other. If the person you’re with just...
PLEASE REBLOG: I LOST MY LIFE IN GREECE.
I just forgot my Kate Spade coin purse in the cab and by the time I realized this (about ten feet later), the cab was gone. Stuff I lost includes: Kate Spade coin purse itself American Express card, Washington Mutual check card, Bank of America check card Charlie Card with like $20 on it Multiple Berry Line cards Most importantly, MY FAKE ID REBLOG THIS POST: I’m going to New York next week....
Heidelberg's not exactly a Kodak commercial.
Fast food worker waves at us through the window.
Kennedy: Look, he said hello. Wave back.
Me: Uhhh, does he recognize us from the other night?
Kennedy: Lena, of course he does. I'm the only black person in this entire city and you're the first Asian he's seen in months.
Obviously, I need to brush up on my Chinese...
Gracye: ARE YOU COPYING MY POSTCARD?
Me: What? It's fine. It's the same general sentiment.
Gracye: You're plagiarizing a letter to your MOTHER.
Me: Okay, so I'm the Kaavya Viswanathan of Chinese daughters. Give me a break.
“If you happen to be online, Gracye and I are writing postcards to our parents...”
– Me, in an instant message to the Guy who has far better command of the Chinese language than I do
I Dreamed of Julia
I just woke up from a dream that involved Julia Allison, my mother, and the guy I’m seeing. WHAT?! I’m hoping only two of the above individuals will be in New York with me next weekend. Otherwise, aaaaawkward.
BASS, BASS WIR BRAUCHEN BASS!
Gracye: Lena, has a single person you've showed that song to liked it?
Me: Um, the Guy thought it was amusing.
Gracye: Amusing is NOT the same as liking it. Amusing is "the girl I'm fucking has terrible taste in music."
1 tag
He's a reasonable fellow.
Me: Does it bother you that a bunch of strangers online think you're a rapist?
Guy: No, not at all. I don't give a shit. It might bother me if I were actually a rapist and I were found out.
We Love This Town Because ... Harvard sex blogger... →
I’m #21 in Boston Magazine’s “The 61 New Best Things About Boston”, despite the fact that I got rejected for an internship there.
I'm sorry, I don't date guys with your name.
Kennedy: So do you have any lingering feelings for any of your exes?
Me: You mean, beyond feelings of resentment and bitterness?
Kennedy: Yeah.
Me: Well, I was in love with ****l. for a really long time, and it took me forever to get over ****l [same name]. But now I'm so not interested that it actually makes me sick to think of hooking up with either of them.
Kennedy: Hmm.
German guy next to us taps my arm to dance.
Me: No, no, I don't know German.
German guy: I speak English. Nice to meet you.
Me: Uhh, nice to meet you. I'm Lena.
German guy: My name is ****l.
Me: Oh. God. Nein. Not interested. Nein, nein, nein, nein.
“Um, when you bought that skirt did you think you were going to get SHORTER or...”
– Gracye, commenting on my outfit for the evening
New York in a Week
To see a bunch of people, but mostly Jenna ;) Email me if you want to hang out!
“Leggings have made it acceptable for women to wear tops and nothing else as...”
– Gracye, who is wearing a top and NO leggings tonight as her outfit
“They will use you as a poster girl for what could go wrong when you send your...”
– my friend Nan on why I shouldn’t interview with the largest circulation Chinese newspaper in North America (you know, besides the very obvious reason of “my family will find out and disown me”)
Dude, I just came from Greece, okay?
Me: Heidelberg looks JUST LIKE AMERICA!
Kennedy: What are you talking about? There's a fucking castle over there.
“Apologies for reneging on my promise to pick you up (and have sex in the parking...”
– Guy, who is out of town this weekend and thus, not fucking me in international parking.
“THIS SUCKS, MY LIFE IS TRAGIC, EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE, AUUUUUGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
– Kennedy, in the middle of Heidelberg on our walk home last night. This was actually really funny, in context.
Salsa Night at Random Heidelberg Bar
Kennedy: There are so many interracial couples here.
Me: We'll fit right in!
“SHHH!!! You’re ruining this song.”
– Kennedy, placing her index finger to her German dance partner’s lips and shushing him.
It's been a therapeutic 48 hours for both of us.
duckie: “You have to BE PARTICULAR about what and whom you want. And although it sucks to hear that you’re not wanted anymore, there are too many people in the world to stay in a relationship because you feel like you’ve made a commitment.”
“Remember that time you had to fly to Heidelberg in the middle of spring break to...”
– Kennedy, this morning
1 tag
“Oooh, postcards! I should send one before I leave Germany tomorrow. Oh wait, my...”
– Me, upon realizing that the last thing I want to do is answer questions from my mother about why I wound up in Heidelberg
Doctor: I need your permission to get your cell phone back from the psych ward.
Kennedy: Really? Because you didn't need my permission to have me committed.
JENNA AND LENA DO NYC?!
I am going to try very, very hard to make it. This could be a disaster waiting to happen. An insanely fun, drunk disaster. jennabrom: suddenly i have 4 interviews. HEY, DEAR LENA (or whomever my tumblr readers happen to be): i will be in NYC on the 3rd and 4th of april, for sure, for serious. I have a bunch of appointments during the day, but will be free to traipse around the city and get...
Watch Gracye and me film the Acropolis on Monday. We don’t actually have any idea what any of these buildings are.
On the streets of Heidelberg
German guys: Mmm ...
Me: Did they just "mmm" at us?
Kennedy: Yes, that was definitely a "mmm."
A few minutes later ...
American guys: YEAH, ALRIGHT!!!
Me: Was that directed toward us?
Kennedy: Yep. We got a "mmm" from the Germans and a "YEAH ALRIGHT" from the Americans.
“Many of us are IN the media just like JA is, and I’m certain many of us are just...”
– Julia Allison: Did You Think There’d Be No JA Today?’ This commenter Tippi from Toronto totally explains my own Julia Allison distaste issues. I want to like her — she seems smart — but the men who give her a free pass for having tits disgust me, because I try to bank my career on other things than...