Anonymous asked: Name ten of your favorite books? :)

OOOH THIS IS TOUGHIE. This is probably an incomplete list (especially since I’m in LA and not currently in front of my bookshelf in Boston) and I do have to separate “literary” recs from pleasure reading, but here’s the former:

Fear of Flying, Erica Jong
Slouching Toward Bethlehem, Joan Didion
The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath
The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood
Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Hunter S. Thompson
The Women’s Room, Marilyn French
Hunger: A Novella and Stories, Lan Samantha Chang

You can likely deduce from the above list that my ideal book would be a coming-of-age story featuring a sexually conflicted female protagonist, a dystopian setting, strong autobiographical elements, and a critical bent. I don’t really do happy endings.

So. I now owe you three more selections.

My two major guilty pleasures are Ian McEwan and Patrick McGrath. Love those old British dudes so much that I’ve read every single book and anthology they’ve ever put out (with the exception of the latest McEwan). My favorite McEwan novels are Amsterdam and Enduring Love, and my favorite McGrath is Asylum. They’re all total head-trips, but I have a bit of a weakness for psychological horror.

When I refer to a piece of literature as a “guilty pleasure”, I usually do so because it has absolutely nothing to do with the writing I do. I try not to read for leisure too much, since I always feel like I should be exposing myself to material that relates to my topics of interest. Or studying up on technique. Or you know, doing something that could pass for productive. Lately, however, I’ve been experimenting a lot with form and I’m trying to expand my horizons. It’s great that I’m in a line of work in which reading can be considered part of the job, but I always, always have to remind myself to stay focused on the task at hand. And these days, that task has consisted of doing little sketches of all the characters who will be appearing in the book based on my blog.

While leisure reading is definitely on the back burner, I’d be interested in hearing some recommendations for creative non-fiction or autobiographical novels related to sex, drugs, and/or rock ‘n roll. Bonus points for Ivy League arrogance, stealth bitches, and mental breakdowns, since that was essentially my entire college experience. Um, if you can’t think of anything that fulfills the above criteria, I suppose I can take solace in the fact that I’m at least being halfway original. (Somehow, I doubt it.)

Thanks in advance for any tips!

More burning questions? Ask Lena.

Previous Book-Related Posts:

Thoughts On Memoir Writing & Some Women’s Literature Recs
Leisure Reading Recommendations
Books Books (With Commentary)

Anonymous asked: Is it cowardly to not want to engage with chronic mansplainers on Facebook (like this one guy who manages to always discuss the plight of women or the poor by implying that he knows better than they do what it's like to be them?) And how do you deal with one you can't avoid in real life? There's this one guy above me at work who talks down to me on every single topic, like he's the teacher and I'm the student, even when it's something where I know way more than he does (like where my degree is).

Oh, boy, I hate dudes with savior complexes. Because I have a tendency to act rashly, here’s a fair warning: I should not be advising anyone on their lives or careers or engagement with feminism, since I haven’t really figured out my own life, career, or engagement with feminism. The following is my completely unqualified opinion.

First, no, I don’t think it’s cowardly to not engage in online discussions. Do what you have to do to not blow a gasket every time you log into Facebook. If that means no more debates, so be it! For what it’s worth, I usually try to avoid arguing with folks on social media myself, because I’ve found it ineffective and frustrating. Maybe it is, in fact, possible to change ignorant people’s minds and I’m going about it the wrong way, but I don’t think anyone has a responsibility to revolutionize the world in 140 characters and I certainly don’t have the patience to tackle all the patronizing stuff out there myself.

As for your annoying co-worker, well, I’m a snarky ass bitch who freelances precisely because I’m slightly misanthropic and prefer the company of my dog, so I’m not sure you want to take any advice on workplace etiquette from me. Assuming that you want to keep your job and that this person is in a position of relative authority, I suppose there are two options. Option 1: Bite tongue, grin, and bear it. Option 2: Communicate to him in an honest yet respectful manner that his way of addressing you comes off as condescending at times. Try using lots of “I” statements so he doesn’t get all butt-hurt. For example, “I feel like my expertise in X is not acknowledged when we discuss Y” or “I think this is because your ego is rivaling Puerto Rico in its bid to become the 51st state.”

Okay, maybe not that last one.

But seriously, thanks to the hierarchial nature of our society, some people are used to commanding respect and authority (even when they’re wrong) on the basis of superficial factors like race or gender. They’re often entirely unconscious of their privilege, which is why most of them will likely remain stuck in their ways. I’ve grown more accepting of this reality over the years, and rather than just being disheartened by it (which I admittedly still am at times), it’s given me the freedom to simply let go. Sometimes, it is worth it to talk through an issue with someone if they’re open to hearing an opposing viewpoint, but when you’re not up for it, remember that there’s no shame in walking away.

More burning questions? Ask Lena.

So, is playing with guns now a group activity and social event? I received three invites to the shooting range over the course of the past week. That seems … atypical.

I don’t think I’ve ever even touched a real gun, nor am I able to identify the various different types. They sort of make me queasy anyway. I suppose learning how to handle one is a good way of conquering my phobia?

Now if only I could find some adult swim lessons so I can deal with my irrational fear of drowning.